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Joke

Davidu

By Davidu
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lowzeewee

lowzeewee

Posted
Posted

In a Tokyo Hotel: Is forbidden to steal hotel towels please. If you are not a person to do such a thing is please not to read notis.

In a Bucharest hotel lobby: The lift is being fixed for the next day. During that time we regret that you will be unbearable.

In a Leipzig elevator: Do not enter lift backwards, and only when lit up.

In a Belgrade hotel elevator: To move the cabin, push button for wishing floor. If the cabin should enter more persons, each one should press a number of wishing floor. Driving is then going alphabetically by national order.

In a Paris hotel elevator: Please leave your values at the front desk.

In a hotel in Athens: Visitors are expected to complain at the office between the hours of 9 and 11 A.M. daily.

In a Yugoslavian hotel: The flattening of underwear with pleasure is the job of the chambermaid.

In a Japanese hotel: You are invited to take advantage of the chambermaid.

In the lobby of a Moscow hotel across from Russian Orthodox monastery: You are welcome to visit the cemetery where famous Russian and Soviet composers, artists, and writers are buried daily except Thursday.

In an Austrian hotel catering to skiers: Not to perambulate the corriders during the hours of repose in the boots of ascension.

On the menu of a Swiss restaurant: Our wines leave you nothing to hope for.

On the menu of a Polish hotel: Salad a firm

Dante

Dante

Posted
Posted
In a Paris hotel elevator: Please leave your values at the front desk.

The others were hilarious, but this one takes the biscuit. I shall be sure to leave my values at desks in Parisian hotels.

Davidu

Davidu

Posted
  • Author
Posted

Now here's a joke for Edirc... yeah, an in-joke:

In Japan they invented a robot that catches 5 thieves an hour.

In Japan it caught 100 thieves.

In USA it caught 200 thieves.

In Romania the robot got stolen.

---------

We're not crime overridden either... but hey, who's crime-safe these days?

TheRedDuke05

TheRedDuke05

Posted
Posted

Heres a good one:

A seninor high school student has to say an oral report to the class about how the U.S. is going. So the student goes home and asks his father about it. The father tells him, " Look at it this way, I am the president, my wife is Congress, your brother is the future, and the maid is the econemy". When the student goes to bed, he wakes up to find his brother having severe dysentary, with crap all over the floor. The father is screwing the maid, the mother is asleep.

So when the student goes back to school to give the report, he says, " Well right now the President is screwing the econemy, Congress is asleep, and our future is knee deep in shit".  ;D

Acriku

Acriku

Posted
Posted

-----

Can you raed tihs? Olny sxey poelpe can. cdnuolt blveiee taht I cluod aulaclty uesdnatnrd waht I was rdanieg. The phaonmneal pweor of the hmuan mnid, aoccdrnig to a rscheearch at Cmabrigde Uinervtisy, it deosn't mttaer in waht oredr the ltteers in a wrod are, the olny iprmoatnt tihng is taht the frist and lsat ltteer be in the rghit pclae. The rset can be a taotl mses and you can sitll raed it wouthit a porbelm. Tihs is bcuseae the huamn mnid deos not raed ervey lteter by istlef, but the wrod as a wlohe. Amzanig huh? yaeh and I awlyas tghuhot slpeling was ipmorantt! if you can raed tihs rpsoet it

-----

Not really a joke, but didn't want to make another thread for this. Cool eh?

gunner154

gunner154

Posted
Posted

Lol! I'm azemad too!

So you thought you were a tech idiot

 

Customer A: I can't get my diskette out.

Helpdesk: Have you tried pushing the button?

Customer A: Yes, sure, nothing happens.

Helpdesk: That doesn't sound good.

Customer A: No ... wait a minute... I hadn't inserted it yet... it's

still on my desk... sorry.

---

Customer B: I can't print. Every time I try it says, 'Can't find

printer.' I've even lifted the printer and placed it in front of the monitor,

but the computer still can't find it.

---

Customer C: I have a huge problem. A friend has placed a screensaver on

my computer, but every time I move the mouse, it disappears!

---

And the one that takes the cake:

Customer D: My keyboard is not working anymore.

Helpdesk: Pick up your keyboard and walk 10 paces back.

Customer D: Okay.

Helpdesk: Did the keyboard come with you?

Customer D: Yes.

Helpdesk: That means the keyboard is not plugged in.

Davidu

Davidu

Posted
  • Author
Posted

LLLOOOOOOOOOOLLL That one was good.

Now, a little off-topic: TODAY 29-09-2005 a CD exploded inside my CD-RW drive. Therefore I have shut down my PC, opened it, taken the drive out, opened it, shaked it real hard so every bit of CD shrapnel fell out, cleaned it with a brush ( noticed several scratches on the metal case and 2-3 plastic poles broken ), checked the optical thingy with a mini-scope for scratches and then assembled the whole darn thing and sticked in the PC back. It is working beautifully.

Happy ending.  :)

Kiyouta

Kiyouta

Posted
Posted

Why, man? That's half the fun! The smart-ass-like comments. ;)

If you need someone to point out the punch-line it's not as funny. People with more than 2 brain cells would be able to come to the same conclusion as the comments, seeing that this is the Joke thread.

On the other hand, this is the Joke thread...

Davidu

Davidu

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  • Author
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IMO the comments emphasise the info.

I can't force you to like it... You surely have different preferences in humor, and that's normal.

Jack Leaf

Jack Leaf

Posted
Posted

My point exactly... Insanity bring flavour to life.

"I don't suffer from madness... i enjoy it every moment."

;)

He meant "inane", not "insane".

Inane means stupid or meaningless.

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