Kiyouta Posted February 17, 2006 Share Posted February 17, 2006 What does it matter?! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
lowzeewee Posted March 16, 2006 Share Posted March 16, 2006 Twelve monks were about to be ordained. The final test was for them to line up, nude, in a garden while a nude model danced before them. Each monk had a small bell attached to his privates, and they were told that anyone whose bell rang would not be ordained because he had not reached a state of spiritual purity.The model danced before the first monk candidate, with no reaction. She proceeded down the line with the same response until she got to the final monk. As she danced, his bell rang so loudly it fell off and clattered to the ground. Embarrassed, he bent down to pick up the bell, and eleven other bells began to ring Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Phoenix Posted March 16, 2006 Share Posted March 16, 2006 rofl...I knew most of those monks are gay :P Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
drahgoon Posted March 17, 2006 Share Posted March 17, 2006 a skeleton walks in to a bar. he asks for a beer, and a mop.two rednecks are sitting at a bar. the older one leans over to the other one and says, "i slept with your mother." a few of the other people in the bar over hear it and see what the other guy is going to do. and he does nothing. the older one yells, "i slept with your mother!" the whole bar hears it, and they all get ready for the impending fight. the second guy says, "go home dad your drunk." Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Davidu Posted March 18, 2006 Author Share Posted March 18, 2006 A joke I recelty heard:A: American NavyS: SpaniardsS: Juan Pablo speaking, I suggest you turn 15 degrees to avoid collision with us.A: This is Captain John Smith speaking, I suggest YOU change course 15 degrees to avoid collision.S: We are very sorry but we cannot do that. Please change course 15 degrees, distance is critical, 25 miles.A: This is John Smith, Captain of the carrier USS "Lincoln", second ship as size in the US Navy, and we are being ecorted by two cruisers and one submarine, I do not SUGGEST, I ORDER you to change course 15 degrees to avoid collision, or we will have to take measures.S: I am Juan Pablo Mendez, I cannot comly with your order because I am a LIGHTHOUSE, we're two people, a dog and a parrot that is currently sleeping, and I have no idea how I rank amongst the spanish lighthouse service. You can take whatever fucking measures you want, but unless you will change course 15 degrees you will crush into the rocks near the shore. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Megashrap Posted March 21, 2006 Share Posted March 21, 2006 This bartender is in a bar, when this really hot chick walks up and says in a sexy seductive voice, "May I please speak to your manager?" He says, "Not right now, is there anything I can help you with?" She replies, "I don't know if your the man to talk to...its kind of personal..." Thinking he might get lucky, he goes, "I'm pretty sure I can handle your problem, miss." She then looks at him with a smile, and puts two of her fingers in his mouth...and he begins sucking them, thinking "I'm in!!!" She goes, "Can you give the manager something for me?" The bartender nods...yes. "Tell him there's no toilet paper in the ladies restroom." Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
drahgoon Posted March 25, 2006 Share Posted March 25, 2006 what has 10 wheels and flys. a garbage truck. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Andrew Posted March 26, 2006 Share Posted March 26, 2006 what has 10 wheels and flys. a garbage truck.I don't get it :( Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
gunner154 Posted March 26, 2006 Share Posted March 26, 2006 Neither do I. ??? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Davidu Posted March 26, 2006 Author Share Posted March 26, 2006 flys ~ flies Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
gunner154 Posted March 26, 2006 Share Posted March 26, 2006 Ah! Okay, that's half of the story. What about the wheels? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
lowzeewee Posted March 26, 2006 Share Posted March 26, 2006 That wasn't even funny at all, as much as it was meant to be!- Yo mama is so fat, that when she stepped onto a weighing scale, it said "To be continued".- Yo mama so fat, people jog around her for exercise.- Yo mama so fat, she went to the movies and sat next to everyone.- Yo mama so fat, she was floating in the ocean and Spain claimed her for the new world.- Yo mama so fat, when she wears a yellow raincoat, people say "Taxi!".- Yo mama so fat, when she tripped over on 4th Ave, she landed on 12th.- Yo mama so fat, when whe was born, she gave the hospital stretch marks. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Davidu Posted March 26, 2006 Author Share Posted March 26, 2006 I never saw a garbage truck with 10 wheels. Maximum 6. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
alchemi2 Posted March 26, 2006 Share Posted March 26, 2006 mine has 12 but there you go Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Phoenix Posted March 26, 2006 Share Posted March 26, 2006 often those cars have 2 wheels next to each other..so the steering weels are single,but the 4 wheels you have visual, have all 1 wheel next to them..which look like this from the botom..= =Â -= =Â - - Yo mama is so fat, That she needs a map to whipe her assThat when she jumps up, she get stuck between the earth and the mars..That when she is tanning on the beach, people of Green Peace come, and try to roll her back into the sea... Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Davidu Posted March 27, 2006 Author Share Posted March 27, 2006 So there is a whole filosofy behind the garbage truck isn't it? ;D Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
jeff2429 Posted March 29, 2006 Share Posted March 29, 2006 Hehe.[attachment deleted by Gobalopper] Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Andrew Posted March 29, 2006 Share Posted March 29, 2006 So be careful! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
jeff2429 Posted March 31, 2006 Share Posted March 31, 2006 Man that sign is so stupid it's hilarious.[attachment deleted by Gobalopper] Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
lowzeewee Posted May 17, 2006 Share Posted May 17, 2006 A Polish immigrant went to the DMV to apply for a driver's license. First, of course, he had to take an eye sight test. The optician showed him a card with the letters: 'C Z W I X N O S T A C Z.' "Can you read this?" the optician asked. "Read it?" the Polish guy replied, "I know the guy." Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
drahgoon Posted May 17, 2006 Share Posted May 17, 2006 that... is... just... funny... *falls off seat laughing...* i m not sure if i have said this one yet, but n e ways... 2 rednecks are sitting in a bar. one looks at the other, and says, "i slept with you mother." the bartender and a few people overhear it, and look at the second redneck, to see if he does anything. he does nothing. so the first one yells at the top of his lungs, "I SLEPT WITH YOUR MOTHER!!!" the second one says, "go home dad your dunk..." rofl... i just think that ones funny... Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
gunner154 Posted May 19, 2006 Share Posted May 19, 2006 Sorry, ~<(bLaCk_EpSiLoN)>~, but that joke is pretty ancient.Don't really get the Polish immigrant joke though. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
erjin999 Posted May 19, 2006 Share Posted May 19, 2006 Apparently, Polish names are like that... Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
gunner154 Posted May 19, 2006 Share Posted May 19, 2006 Ah, neat stuff. Now it makes sense. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
veK Posted May 19, 2006 Share Posted May 19, 2006 rofl that polish jokes rocks Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Recommended Posts
Join the conversation
You can post now and register later. If you have an account, sign in now to post with your account.
Note: Your post will require moderator approval before it will be visible.