GUNWOUNDS Posted May 1, 2005 Share Posted May 1, 2005 Khan ....just to satisfy your curiosity....many americans say their "o" like an "a" Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Khan Posted May 1, 2005 Share Posted May 1, 2005 Khan ....just to satisfy your curiosity....many americans say their "o" like an "a" Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Megashrap Posted May 12, 2005 Share Posted May 12, 2005 AMERICAN BUSINESSMAN GOLFING An American businessman was in Japan. He hired a local hooker and was going at it all night with her. She kept screaming "Fugifoo, Fugifoo!!!", which the guy took to be pleasurable.. The next day, he was golfing with his Japanese counterparts and he got a beautiful 340 yard shot and just 50 yards from the pin. Wanting to impress the clients, he said "Fugifoo". The Japanese clients looked confused and said "What the hell are you talking about, that's the right hole." Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Andrew Posted May 12, 2005 Share Posted May 12, 2005 Good one scar. :)Once upon a time there was an englishman, an american and a japanese guy who all ended up on an otherwise uninhabited island in the south pacific.- I wanna be the president of this here island, said the american.- Well, then I want to be the prime minister, said the englishman.The japanese guy couldn't make up his mind about what he wanted to be though, and the englishman suggested that he could simply be in charge of the supplies. He happily accepted this, and everyone went on with their business.After a few days it was apparent that the japanese had somehow disappeared. Neither the englishman or the american had seen him around. But then, as they were strolling down the beach, the japanese suddenly jumps out from behind a tree and screams:Supplies!!Taken from a random google website, although I heard this joke about 5 years ago and was probably slightly different than this one.Everytime I hear the word surprise I think of this joke. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Dante Posted May 13, 2005 Share Posted May 13, 2005 Best one for ages. :) Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Kiyouta Posted May 13, 2005 Share Posted May 13, 2005 Rofltastic. ;D Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Dunenewt Posted May 16, 2005 Share Posted May 16, 2005 The History Of The Internethttp://www.bordergatewayprotocol.net/jon/humor/internet_history/ Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Kiyouta Posted May 16, 2005 Share Posted May 16, 2005 Hehehe thats brilliant Dunenewt! :P2003: After 43.2 million spams, and over 2.3 billion pop-up ads worldwide, someone buys an X-10 mini cam.;D Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Megashrap Posted May 16, 2005 Share Posted May 16, 2005 "Real Audio released, allowing users to listen to halting bursts of static in real time." Damn, thats so true. :) Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Tako Posted May 16, 2005 Share Posted May 16, 2005 short feary-taleman proposes to a girlgirl says "no"man lives happely ever afterman is at the lake of Galilea and is wanting to rent a botebote rental guy: "that will be $50,- ", man: "why so much mony"boe rental guy: "this is a very special lake sir Jezus wlked over this water"man: "can't blame him with $50,- for a rental bote!" Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Dunenewt Posted May 18, 2005 Share Posted May 18, 2005 A weird websitehttp://www.nothing.net Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
lowzeewee Posted May 18, 2005 Share Posted May 18, 2005 Wtf Chris, do you really have NOTHING to do? :D Here's a joke: Dunenewt. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
DjCiD Posted May 18, 2005 Share Posted May 18, 2005 I saw nothing wrong with it.... Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Dunenewt Posted May 18, 2005 Share Posted May 18, 2005 The puns...the puns... Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Kiyouta Posted May 18, 2005 Share Posted May 18, 2005 "Nothing FlatTake out a rolling pin. Roll it across the table. Serves 9."hahaha, I thought it was good. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
DjCiD Posted May 18, 2005 Share Posted May 18, 2005 A weird websitehttp://www.nothing.netI counter with a site where the infinite is possible: http://www.zombo.com/ Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Megashrap Posted May 18, 2005 Share Posted May 18, 2005 Cooking with Clinton....http://www.jibjab.com/2.html Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Megashrap Posted May 20, 2005 Share Posted May 20, 2005 BARBARA WALTERS INTERVIEWBarbara Walters was doing a documentary on the customs of American Indians. After a tour of the reservation, she asked why there was a difference in the number of feathers in headdresses. She asked a brave who had only one feather in his headress."Me have only one squaw, so me only have one feather." She asked another brave, feeling the first fellow was putting her on."Me have four feathers, because me sleep with four squaws." Still not convinced the number of feathers indicated the number of of mates involved, she decided to interview the chief, who had a headdress full of feathers."Me chief, me f***-em all.""This is outrageous you ought to be hung!" a horrified Barbara Walters said."Damn right, me hung like buffalo.""You don't have to be so damn hostile!" cried Barbara Walters."Hoss-style, dog-style, hog-style, wolf-style, any-style. Me f***-em all!""Oh dear!""No deer. Assholes too high and run too fast. No f***-em deer." Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
DjCiD Posted May 20, 2005 Share Posted May 20, 2005 Bravo Scar Bravo !!!! ;)Me Chief Wan-hung Low, from the Slap-a-hoe Indian Tribe... me f**k em all! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
jeff2429 Posted May 20, 2005 Share Posted May 20, 2005 Omg thats a good one scar. ;D Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Megashrap Posted May 22, 2005 Share Posted May 22, 2005 SUPER HEROESSuperman is bored fighting crime everyday. So one Friday night he decides to go out in the town to have some fun. He drops by Batman's house.'Hey Batman', he says 'Wanna' go out tonight?'No I can't', replies Batman. 'The Batmobile is broken and I gotta' stay home and fix it, or else I won't be able to fight crime'.'You loser,' says Superman and flies away. He decides to stop by Spiderman's house. 'Hey, Spidy, how about hitting the town tonight, you and me,' he says.'I'd love to, but I can't', replies Spiderman. 'My web is broken and I gotta' fix it to fight crime'.Superman, all disgusted says 'You loser. Stay home on a Friday night and fix your damn web'.So he flies away. While flying from up above he spots Wonder Woman stark naked and lying down on her back spread-eagle. Superman thinks, 'Hey, I am Superman, I can fly down there at the speed of light, have a quickie and fly back out and she won't even feel it.'Superman flies down, does a quick in-out-in-out and flies back out at the speed of light.Wonder Woman says, 'What the hell was that?' The Invisible man says, 'I don't know but my ass is killing me!' Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Edric O Posted May 23, 2005 Share Posted May 23, 2005 Old - it was even said by the main character in a recent movie adaptation of "The Invisible Man" - but still reasonably funny. ;)On another note, behold the uber-leetness of... Google H4x0r!!!http://www.google.com/intl/xx-hacker/Apparently, Google image search is "+3h m0$+ c0mPr3h3nZiV3 1m463 s33rCh on +h33 w3b d00d!!!." ??? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Kiyouta Posted May 23, 2005 Share Posted May 23, 2005 I was about to comment that this shows Google's human side, but that's not entirely accurate... Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Megashrap Posted May 23, 2005 Share Posted May 23, 2005 LITTLE JOHNNY IN SCHOOLIt is near the end of the school year. The teacher has turned in her grades. There is really nothing to do. All the kids are restless because there is nothing to do and it is near the end of the day.The teacher says, "Whoever answers the questions I ask first and correctly can leave early today." Little Johnny says to himself, "Good, I want to get outta here. I'm smart and will answer the question". The teacher asked, "Who said 'For Score and Seven Years Ago'?"Before Johnny could open his mouth, Susie said, "Abraham Lincoln". The teacher said, "That's right Susie. You can go". Johnny was MAD. Susie answered first.The teacher asked, "Who said, 'I Have a Dream'?"Before Johnny could open his mouth, Mary said, "Martin Luther King". The teacher said, "That's right Mary. You can go". Johnny was even MADDER than before. Mary answered first.The teacher asked, "Who said 'Ask not, what your country can do for you'?"Before Johnny could open his mouth, Nancy said, "John Kennedy". The teacher said, "That's right Nancy. You can go". Johnny was BOILING MAD. Nancy answered first.Then the teacher turned her back, and Johnny said, "Dammit, I wish these bitches would keep their mouths shut".The teacher asked, "WHO SAID THAT?"Johnny said, "BILL CLINTON, CAN I GO NOW?" Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Tako Posted May 23, 2005 Share Posted May 23, 2005 knew that one, still funny though Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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