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Some people in Ro declared war on China.

Nr1: -We will attack and destroy China!!

// Applause

Nr2: -Sir, they're over!!!

Nr1: -Man, you're right!!! We are we going to bury all of them???


Simply a joke: don't judge it.

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Another one:

A contest between the US, Germany and RO. The best tank.

The US comes: target set at 5000 yards.

Public: wow!!!

The US tank shoots and scores.

Germany comes: target set 10000 yards.

Public: wooow!!!

The German tank shoots and scores.

RO comes: the tank captain was pushing the tank to the shooting line 'cause the tank's engine collapsed.

Target 50000 yards!


PFFF!!! PPPFFF!!!!!!!

The projectile slowly comes out the barrel and hits the gound in front of the tank... it doesen't explode...

Public: ??? what is... uh? hey!

The US tank captain was laughing around the RO tank... when the RO captin comes out with alost no breath and says:

- Blow harder if you can!!!!

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Stalin, Kruschev and Breznjev sit in a train. Suddenly the train stops running.

Stalin: "Shoot the driver, send the personnel to Siberia and get me new people!"

After this happens, the train starts running again. 2 kilometeres later, the train stops again. This time Kruschev speaks.

Kruschev: "Bring back the personnel from Siberia and give them back their jobs!"

The train starts running again, but 2 kilometres laters it stops again. This time, everybody looks at Breznjev. Then he speaks.

Breznjev: "Close the curtains, then it will look as if we're moving!"

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Post some jokes...

Political, non political... any kind...

We really need some smiles around this SERIOUS Politics & Religion Topic!!!

that's what my political cartoons/jokes thread was supposed to do.... but it sort of died off without even being tossed around a while.... i guess this politics/religion board is just too serious.. ;)

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Russian, Slovak and Romanian fly in a plane. Suddenly it's engines stop to work and plane is quickly losing height. Romanian says: "How many parachutes we have?" Russian, who knows about it's country technology says: "Two." "Then someone must remain here!" says Romanian. Slovak heroically says to Russian: "Take this, and quickly jump out, my soviet comrade!" Russian cries from mercy, but thanks and quickly jumps out. Romanian will say: "What will we you do now?" Slovak replies: "No matter, he took just a sack."

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So I take it that political correctness is not on the menu, right? ;) Hehe, this could be fun. :)

World War Two. Close to the front line, 3 allied generals talk about courage. One is Russian, the other is American and the third one is British.

The American general wants to show the others how courageous his men are. He calls a soldier and tells him: "Private, I want you to run across that mine field, jump over two enemy trenches, and come back in 10 minutes!"

"Sir, yes sir!"

The soldier does everything the general asked him and comes back on time. The American general says to the other two: "You see? That is what I call courage!"

The Russian general is eager to show the toughness of the Red Army. He calls a soldier and tells him: "Comrade, you must run across that mine field and jump over no less than four enemy trenches, while carrying a box of live grenades. And for the glory of Mother Russia, you must be back in 8 minutes!"

"Da, comrade general!"

This soldier also does everything the general asked him and comes back on time. The Russian general says to the other two: "You see, comrades? That is what I call courage!"

The British general raises an eyebrow and steps in slowly. He calls a soldier and tells him: "Hey, you there! Go and run across that mine field and jump over ten enemy trenches, while carrying a box of grenades in your arms, a timed C4 explosive on your back, and balancing a stick of dynamite on your nose. Oh, and be back in five minutes."

The soldier replies: "Say what? Are you bloody mad, you stupid fool? I didn't join the army to listen to braindead idiots like you! Go and do it yourself if you're so damn clever!"

The British general looks triumphantly at the other two.

"Now, gentlemen, THIS is what I call courage!"

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lol, that one was funny Edric, and I'd have to agree standing up and chewing out his general was a sign of courage. Too bad doing that in wartime is disobeying a direct order and an act of treason, punishable by death...oh well, who's gonna miss the British guy?

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Three presidents: US, French and Ro are flying in a plane.

They agree to try and guess who's country are they flying over.

The US president goes to the door, opens the door and streches his hand out.

- This is USA!

- How do you know?

- I touched the head of the Statue of Liberty.

After a while the French president does the same.

- C'est la France!

- How do you know?

- I touched le Tour Eiffel.

The Romanian president does the same after a while and returns quite upset to his seat.

- What happened?

- That was my country that we flew over.

- How do you know?

- My watch "dissapeared"...

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Some people invented a new kind of parachute that opened when the person that wore it said "Ave Caesar" (!!!).

They agreed to test it.

The first tester WAS British. They push him out of the aeroplane. The guy forgets what he has to say and shouts: "Richard the Lion Heart!!!".

The parachute won't open. "Robin Hood!!!!". Still the parachute remains closed."Henry VIII!!!!!!!!!!". He hits the earth and dies.

The second tester WAS Franch. They push him out of the plane. He also forgets the "password" and starts to shout:"Joanne d'Arc!","Louie XIV!!!","Napoleoooonn!!!!!!". Hits the gound and dies!

The last tester is a Romanian gipsy.

- 'Cmon guys, I have a wife and four children... Dont' push me out... They need me to feed them... HEEEEELP!! HEEELP!!!

He is pushed out of the plane.

The pilots turn the plane and head to the airport.

Suddenly they hear a knock on the plane's door.

- John, would you be so kind to go and see who is it? says the pilot.

- NO! comes John's (the copilot) fast answer.

The pilot slowly moves his...rear to the door and opens it.

The gipnsy, still holding on the planes fuselage with his fingers shouts:

- If I say what you've told me to say will you give me a dollar?

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Sunday, the 1800s, in an Irish church, the priest is talking about the sin of drinking too much alcohol.

- My friends, the alcohol is the biggest curse that fell upon the Irish. This is why we rebell against our masters, and this is why we can't hit them when we fire pur guns!!

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