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Top 1000 ways to tell your too into Dune


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1. You tie a sharp rock onto a handle and call it a crysknife.

2. You carry literjons of water with you everywere you go.

3. Before you walk on sand, you plant a thumper to make sure no sandworms are nearby.

4. When you walk, you walk with a random pattern.

5. You wear contacts that turn your eyes completely blue.

6. You throw your computer out your second story window.

7. you carry around cinammon altoids and call it your 'melange'

You get the idea. Now the rest of you must come up with the next 993. Have fun. Come up with good, funny ones!

-I copied that from bleh boards

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9. You call any large truck "Shai-Hulud" and you try to ride it.

10. You're taking pilot lessons and can't convince them to let you fly an ornithopter.

11. You use a seringe that you call "hunter-seeker" against your annoying brother.

12. Before you eat, you always check for poison.

13. You wear a home-made stillsuit until someone forces you to take a bath.

14. You pay for things with water.

15. You spit at your teacher to show him your respect.

16. When you see a blind man, you take him on sand and "leave his water to Shai-Hulud".

More comming soon!

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17) You take a case of cinimon to NASA and complain when they won't put you on the next hieghliner to mars.

18) After that, the NASA guys have you put into a hospital where doctors keep showing ink blots of sandworms. They were clear as day, anyone would have seen them, I'M NOT CRAZY I TELL YOU!

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19) You goto the supermarket and ask for 12 pounds of spice.

20) You have die-cast models of all the units and have dune wars.

21) You spend your nights looking through a telescope looking for Arrakis.

22) Someone comes looking for you and you have to turn off your cloaking device.

23) You call your room a "Sietch"

24) you keep up on repairs to your house over the fear of a Death Hand Missle.

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  • 3 weeks later...

32. You rank people of the opposite gender like dune commanders: "Sand Flea", "Warlord", etc.

33. You've permantly mounted the Dune 2000 CD in your CDROM drive.

34. You have roleplays with the 2 houses around yours, about fighting for Dune; "Now, 3 houses fight for control of Dune"

35. You refuse to go on holidays without a laptop with Dune 2000.

36. You installed a T1 connection just so you can play lag-free on the Westwood servers.

37. You name houses after houses in Dune: Atreides, Ordos, Harkonnen, Corrino, Ix, etc. etc.

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39. You faint when you see the ocean.

40. You ask scuba divers about the waters of their homeworld.

41. You call nuns Bene Gesserit witchs.

42. When you see a plane fly over you yell Ornithopter Raid!!! and take cover.

43. You live in a shack in the middle of Death Valley.

44. You attack cops with a Homemade Crysknifes and call them Harkonnen scum!.

45. You attack people with flash lights and call it a Las Gun.

46. You steal your parents car and drive around the neighborhood screaming Worm Sign after seeing A gas tanker go by.

47. You call a priest the Kwisatz Hederach.

48. Dune Chapter House is your Bible.

49. You steal street sweepers and drive them through sand saying "You will gather enough spice for the trip home"

50. You stalk Frank Herberts family.

51. You dig up bodys from grave sites and attempt to take their water.

52. You plot Homicide against your family so you can take their water.

53. You think Oceans are Urban Legends.

54. You call your Girlfriend Concubine.

55. You ask people with blue eyes what tribe they are in.

56. You only play sports in your homemade stillsuit.

57. At church you drink the Holy Water.

58. You think the Sweden-Norway Penninsula resembles Shai-Hulud.

59. You think blimps are frigates bring more enemy units.

60. You write letters to the President asking for control of Dune.

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64-You don't have a girlfriend anymore, cause you played Dune games too much.

65-You run around laden with bombs, calling yourself an "Ordos Saboteur"

66-You call greenhouses "a big waste of water"

67-When you get into a fight, you yell "Long live the fighters!"

68-You call anyone fat "Baron Harkonnen".

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71-You're convinced you could buy a house with a handful of cinnamon.

72-If someone has a question about Dune, everyone tells the person to ask you!

73-You refuse to point a flashlight at any form of shield, fearing that you'll cause an explosion.

74-You refuse to wear a shield while on sand, fearing sandworms.

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76. You call a rifle a lasgun.

77. You call airline Pilots, Guild Navigators.

78. You go to the national air and space museum and ask where the Guild Frigate is.

79. They lock you up after you look in the backroom.

80. Your neighbors call the Cops because you killed there dogs and cats for the water.

81. You go to school whereing Bene Gessirit robes.

82. You drink the toilet water because it is the water of life.

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83. You worship the worms in your yard.

84. Whenever you go fishing you tackle someone putting a worm on their hook because they will kill shai-hulud.

85. They try to throw you in the water and you duck and pull a sharp rock tied to a stic. (your crysknife)

86. You refer to your father as Duke.

87. You call your stepdad Baron.

88. You call your dad Baron.

89. You call your Stepdad Duke.

90. You call the smart kids Mentats.

91. You were arrested for stealing water from a store.

92. You believe a bath is a waste of water.

93. You were arrested for forming a gang.(your sardaukar)

95. You have micro machine troops and make them Dune troops.

96. You memorized every Dune Book.

97. Your English essay was on fremen forms of water preservation.

98. You do not go to pool parties because of the waste of water.

99. You become a helicopter pilot and call it you ornithopter.

100. You start the Church of the God Emperor Leto.

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101. You love the unabomber. (he's the ultimate Ordos)

102. You went to school with a water gun. (your maula pistol)

103. they suspended you for it.

104. You wanted to join the military so you could serve under Duke Bill Clinton.

105. You became an Iraqi to serve Baron Hussein.

106. You are a terrorist, but you are just an Ordos.

107. You bought several pounds of spices at the store.

108. You sell it to kids @ school for all their families money.

109. You believe yor grandmother is a bene gessirit.

110. You believe Hookers are Imprinters.

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111. Your sure all the teachers are face dancers.

112. You believe the biology teacher is a Tleilaxu master.

113. The cheerleaders are BG Witch assassins sent to kill you.

114. The basketball players are undoubtedly Sardaukar.

115. You believe Santa is a face dancer.

116. You know Ix is real.

117. You know Ix controls radio shack.

118. Circuit City is a Ixian spy center.

119. You know that the little kids in your neighborhood are Tleilaxu.

120. You think of what would happen if you were on Dune to help Paul.

121. You think your girlfriend is an honored matre.

122. You think your girlfriend is a BG Witch.

123. It is impossible to find the right girl for you, they may all be Honored Matres.

124. You see a beggar and you call him a face dancer spy.

125. You walk into the police station strapped with bombs. (sabetor) I know I spelled wrong

126. You wake up and say Water is Life, every morrning.

127. You builds a shrine to the God Emperor.

128. You despise computers(thinking machines)but must use them to play Dune 2000.

129. You believe the guy in the alley is selling you melange. (its crack or weed dyed ornge but you don't know that)

130. You've made 4 posts to answer this and keep thinking of more stuff after each post.

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