Fiction Comments Go Here

[ExSPlug]

You too...had much fun in that one.

By the way...can we go and apply for Guniess record for the shortest and most intense Kanly battle? :P

[exatreide]

Indeed  :)

Watch Out...I'll be back...

[Lord J]

  Indeed, very good fight from the both of you.  I think it deserves a record ;)

[ordos45]

Oh yeah...thanks for reminding me Tamerlane.  Corporate Wars has begun!

[EWS]

Espionage 4 is up.  Everyone check it out, we want a big turnout on this one.

[Dante]

Says you. POST, boy!

Edit: Dragoon! Your turn now! *Cracks whip*

[GhostHunter]

Lmao, nice story Apoll, I got a real good laugh out of it.  ;D

I especially liked:

"Eddins! You distract it, while I run away!"

[bryorama]

LOL !

Liked those lines.  ::)

[Dante]

I worked damn hard on my most recent short story (not the werewolf one) so if people would be so kind as to tell me what they think (truthfully) I would appreciate it. Thank you.

[Apollyon]

I'm going to read through all of them and do some thorough criticism on Saturday.

Oh and thanks, GhostHunter, glad you liked it. ;)

[Apollyon]

Critique 1

Truth

[Dante]

Come on, people! House Wayku is the first Dune fic for a while, and the first posts were really good. Let's keep at it, jah?

[nemafakei]

"

[Apollyon]

Oh, and a little belated, but I probably ought to take issue with

"But = yet. Yet = but. Choose one or the other"

Yet is not restricted in meaning. Considering the reordering "Tears continued to shed from his eyes but she stood calmly yet.", you can observe that the 'yet' can act as an intensifier with a suggestion of temporal meaning. Oh, and the word has yet more uses to which I have yet to refer, but they're not relevant. Yet.

Link

Stylistically, it's a load of crap, so your disputing the point is more or less entirely pointless.

[nemafakei]

The link is very funny. Was it a deliberate mistake (follow link youself if you don't get it)?

To what, precisely, do you refer when you say "it"?

[Apollyon]

Heheheh. Dodgy code tag, but that is funny.

It = the use of 'but yet'.

[nemafakei]

Fair enough, I'll leave style to those who claim to be stylish.

I just didn't like the definitive implications of "But = yet. Yet = but".

[Apollyon]

Very well. I'll leave the definitions to those who are pedantic. ;)

[Jack Leaf]

Apollyon's Vicious Fabric...

HAH! I almost laughed, and I don't usually laugh. The story was frigging funny!  ;D

[Apollyon]

Thanks. Glad you enjoyed. :D

[Andrew]

Wow, no one replied to this thread in a while.

I was thinking for the arrakis factions thread, maybe you want to use a map, so that it is easier to visualise where you are talking about.

http://users.eastlink.ca/~andrewabc/jihad/

Has a map already labelled with most locations actually having a name to the number/letter.

Ignore the army numbers and faction colours.

Stats page has the name of location (where available), and maps page has the map.

Just a thought in case you think it will improve the fanfic. Although I would think it might get tedious checking out where exactly a location is, and then someon saying "no I was over there".

But whatever. Feel free to make references to the map. Maybe you will get hooked. hehehe

Or use one of the many other Dune maps that are floating around labelled.

http://www.duneworld.org/books/map.html is best example.

[Dante]

I just used the map in the book...

[Andrew]

Not everyone the original/first book. :)

[Dante]

Ok, you wanted an undead fic, here's an undead fic! Join!

[exatreide]

Or die...

Or Join and...Um...Be...a dead!