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Survey: Why did the chicken cross the road?

Edric O

By Edric O
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Edric O

Edric O

Posted
Posted

KINDERGARTEN TEACHER: To get to the other side.

PLATO: For the greater good.

ARISTOTLE: It is the nature of chickens to cross roads.

FREUD: The fact that you are at all concerned that the chicken crossed the road reveals your underlying sexual insecurity.

KARL MARX: It was a historical inevitability.

SADDAM HUSSEIN: This was an unprovoked act of rebellion and we were quite justified in dropping 50 tons of nerve gas on it.

RONALD REAGAN: I forget.

CAPTAIN JAMES T. KIRK: To boldly go where no chicken has gone before.

BILL GATES: I have just released the new Chicken Office 2000, which will not only cross roads, but will lay eggs, file your important documents, and balance your chequebook.

ANDERSEN CONSULTING: Deregulation of the chicken's side of the road was threatening its dominant market position. The chicken was faced with significant challenges to create and develop the competencies required for the newly competitive market. Andersen Consulting, in a partnering relationship with the client, helped the chicken by rethinking its physical distribution strategy and implementation processes. Using the Poultry Integration Model (PIM), Andersen helped the chicken use its skills, methohodologies, knowledge, capital and experiences to align the chicken's people, processes and technology in support of its overall strategy within a Program Management framework. Andersen Consulting convened a diverse cross-spectrum of road analysts and best chickens along with Anderson consultants with deep skills in the transportation industry to engage in a two-day itinerary of meetings in order to leverage their personal nowledge

capital, both tacit and explicit, and to enable them to synergize with each other in order to achieve the implicit goals of delivering and successfully architecting and implementing an enterprise-wide value framework across the continuum of poultry cross-median processes. The meeting was held in a park-like setting, enabling and creating an impactful environment which was strategically based, industry-focused, and built upon a consistent, clear, and unified market message and aligned with the chicken's mission, vision, and core values. This was conducive towards the creation of a total business integration solution. Andersen Consulting helped the chicken change to become more successful.

LOUIS FARRAKHAN: The road, you see, represents the black man. The chicken 'crossed' the black man in order to trample him and keep him down.

MARTIN LUTHER KING, JR.: I envision a world where all chickens will be free to cross roads without having their motives called into question.

MOSES: And God came down from the Heavens, and He said unto the chicken,

"Thou shalt cross the road." And the chicken crossed the road, and there was much rejoicing.

FOX MULDER: You saw it cross the road with your own eyes. How many more chickens have to cross the road before you believe it?

TIMOTHY LEARY: Because that's the only trip the establishment would let it take.

BILL CLINTON: The chicken did not cross the road. I repeat, the chicken did NOT cross the road.

MACHIAVELLI: The point is that the chicken crossed the road. Who cares why? The end of crossing the road justifies whatever motive there was.

JERRY SEINFELD: Why does anyone cross a road? I mean, why doesn't anyone ever think to ask, "What the heck was this chicken doing walking around all over the place, anyway?"

HIPPOCRATES: Because of an excess of phlegm in its pancreas.

OLIVER STONE: The question is not, "Why did the chicken cross the road?" Rather, it is, "Who was crossing the road at the same time, whom we overlooked in our haste to observe the chicken crossing?"

DARWIN: Chickens, over great periods of time, have been naturally selected in such a way that they are now genetically disposed to cross roads.

EINSTEIN: Whether the chicken crossed the road or the road moved beneath the chicken depends upon your frame of reference.

BUDDHA: Asking this question denies your own chicken nature.

Sir Edmund Hillary: Because it was there.

RALPH WALDO EMERSON: The chicken did not cross the road - it transcended it.

ERNEST HEMINGWAY: To die. In the rain.

COLONEL SANDERS: I missed one?

IxianMace

IxianMace

Posted
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I'm VERY impressed with this stuff Edric. I could hardly read because I was laughing so hard at the Anderson Consulting section. I'd like to be able to copy and paste this into a document to e-mail to friends, because it's just so damn good. Of course, I'll need your permission... 8) ;D

Edric O

Edric O

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  • Author
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Well, this wasn't my idea. I just copied & pasted from the Relic boards. :)

Edric O: To join the fight against the corrupt government! :)

IxianMace

IxianMace

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IXIANMACE: The chicken crossed the road because it isn't a chicken at all. It is a Ixian machine that is being controlled by remote, and is now being tested for durability on various terrain, before being given the ok as a spy unit.

ordos45

ordos45

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Ordos45: The chicken crossed the road in order to inspire its fellow chickens to cross the road. Together the chickens called for revolution from the oppressive rule of mankind. And then all chickens will be able to cross roads once the capitalist and communist pigs are overthrown...

(Umm, okay. That's just my silly answer.)

Acriku

Acriku

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Acriku: How do we know the chicken crossed the road in the first place? We didn't see it cross the road, so we just assume it did for the sake of the argument.

nemafakei

nemafakei

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Posted

Whether or not the chicken did indeed cross the road, we may still discuss why a chicken would cross a road, in a hypothetical situation.

It it my guess that the chicken, temporarily unoccupied, was in a state of brownian motion, wandering seemingly randomly, and it just so happened that during its travels there was a road between two points on its path. There was no moral or logical significance to the crossing of this road by the chicken, it was merely an expression of the random nature of the chicken. We may as well ask "why did that die land, showing a four?"

Elite47

Elite47

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Elite47: The chicken crossed the road because he saw Navaros sitting at a bus stop on the otherside. The chicken, who had a weak stomach from eating something bad looked over at Nav and thought,"oh sweet,there's a port-a-potty by the bus stop" so he walked over and shit on that poor little mans head.

gryphon

gryphon

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For those of you who remember my first signature ..

"We are all chicken if you catch us at the right moment."

But serious now. What can I say. The importat thing is not that there is a chicken. Or a road for that mather. Neither is that a chicken is crossing that road or not. The point if he is really corssing it or just passing or whatever in perspective to that is irrelevant. The main importance is the fact that there is an observer. And not the idea in the observer that makes him see a chicken, a road end movement between those two. But the fact that the observer takes that effect he just imagined [ if it is real or not, it is a imagination in the brain of the observer and questioner in question ] and makes those two things related to eatchother. A question will inevetably follow. And if it was not about why the chicken crossed the road, it was about why the chicken is more fragile then the road. Or why the chicken is white and the road black.

This because a question has to be asked. A question simbolises a goal. And that is a thing that can not be missed. A next point of travel. The next step. So the important thing should not be why the chicken crossed the road. But off all things that where present at that moment, why did the persone inventing that statement choose the simple point where the chicken made an action as the idea of his example. An action totally easy to be explained by the chicken in question. But the lack of abilety in communication between the observer and the chicken made it a conundrum fot the observer.

So the conclusion ....it's the question that drives us. Not the answer.

:)

ordos45

ordos45

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(Answer two)

Ordos45: The chicken crossed the road to understand temporal theory. He had crossed this road many times before, but only he seemed to remember that, and everytime he crossed it he was asked why he did it, and every time he explained. This last time though, he did not explain and broke the time loop, when he became the dinner course at the Landsraad.

Ordos45: The Chicken was a hired assassin. He knew what must be done and did so. He crossed the road to kill his target! He succeeded too.

President Bush: The Chicken crossed the road to aid in the War on Terror. He was helping US Special Forces track down members of Al-Quaida and other despicable terrorist cells. The chicken knows you are either with us or against us, and he is with us.

exatreide

exatreide

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why did the chicken cross the road?

in my view of things......

the chiken wanted change. is life in the farm was horible in his opinon. his friends were getting killed left and right.

the road is the mental shield against change. its alwas there telling us to stay whare we are. he might kill the guy beside you and not you tomora. the other side of the road is chage. freedom.

the chicken crossed the road when he had looked both ways for troubel that might cause him harm. death pain ect.....

he crossed. married a nice hen nammed marry and had a nice family of 309 chickens.

end of story. the moral is chage is good.

well........

Twin-Head

Twin-Head

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Twin-Head: Beacause he saw tons of red stuff splattered all over the road whenever his fellow chickens crossed. The red stuff tasted good so he went to suck it out of the bodies by the side of the road and got his head run over. He couln't see so he kept walking and then crossed the road. After his head grew back he tried again. [did i mention that this chicken is a mutant][attachment archived by Gobalopper]

nemafakei

nemafakei

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Posted

"it's the question that drives us. Not the answer."

More correctly, it's the enjoyment of the saerch for an answer that drives us, rather than a desire to get to the real answer; once found, the answer is indeed meaningless; after all, there are far too many questions out there to be answered, and were we to be driven by all of them, we would instead be driven mad!

Morover, once the simple answer (To get to the other side) has been exposed, we cannot accept the end of the search - we instead choose to look deeper, to experience a more rigorous search - since we are unhappy with the simplicity of the first answer, we look for one that is somehow better, one that appeals more to our imagination, despite the obvious fact that the first answer is quite clearly correct.

gryphon

gryphon

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Posted

I couldn't have said it better. :)

But then, the question must be created by the answer that already exists. So the world is full of answers. But in a stupid way we fail to see them, just the questions that arrise from them. Unaware that for every question, the answer is already given.

[ but this doesn't really contribute to your posts. I just wanted to mention it I guess. ]

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