Joke

[Tako]

roflmao  ;D

some good shit, liked the coach thingy too soooo funny, you know I really new a coach like that, well gym-teacher but still

[Megashrap]

LE PARFUMERIE Y LE BLONDE

One day two blondes walk into a perfume shop. The one blonde picks up a bottle of perfume that is titled "Viens Chez Moi."

The blonde asks the manager what it means, and the manager says it means, "Come to Me."

So the blonde smells the perfume and asks her friend, "Does this smell like come to you? Because it doesn't smell like come to me."

[slaphapy]

LE PARFUMERIE Y LE BLONDE

One day two blondes walk into a perfume shop. The one blonde picks up a bottle of perfume that is titled "Viens Chez Moi."

The blonde asks the manager what it means, and the manager says it means, "Come to Me."

So the blonde smells the perfume and asks her friend, "Does this smell like come to you? Because it doesn't smell like come to me."

ROFL... nice scar... spelling is off but, read it out loud and its funny hehe..

[jeff2429]

Yes you really needed to mention his spelling...  I guess that's what your paranoid about. :P

[Megashrap]

DON'T KICK WHAT YOU EAT

A little boy came down to breakfast. Since they lived on a farm, this mother asked if he had done his chores. 'Not yet', said the little boy. His mother tells him he can't have any breakfast until he does this chores.

Well, he's a little pissed, so he goes to feed the chickens, and he kicks a chicken. He goes to feed the cows, and he kicks a cow. He goes to feed the pigs, and he kicks pig. He goes back in for breakfast and his mother gives him a bowl of dry cereal.' How come I don't get any eggs and bacon?

Why don't I have any milk in my cereal?' he asks. 'Well', his mother says, 'I saw you kick a chicken, so you don't get any eggs. I saw you kick the pig, so you don't get any bacon, either. I also saw you kick the cow, so you aren't getting any milk this morning.' Just about then, his father comes down for breakfast, and he kicks the cat as he's walking into the kitchen. The little boy looks up at his mother with a smile, and says, 'Are you going to tell him, or should I?'

*************************************************************************

PSYCHIC DOG

It's common practice in England to ring a telephone by signaling extra voltage across one side of the two wire circuit and ground. When the subscriber answers the phone, it switches to the two wire circuit for the conversation. This method allows two parties on the same line to be signaled without disturbing each other.

Anyway, an elderly lady with several pets called to say that her telephone failed to ring when her friends called; and that on the few occasions when it did ring her dog always barked first. The telephone repairman proceeded to the scene, curious to see this psychic dog.

He climbed a nearby telephone pole, hooked in his test set, and dialed the subscriber's house. The phone didn't ring. He tried again. The dog barked loudly, followed by a ringing telephone.

Climbing down from the pole, the telephone repairman found:

1. A dog was tied to the telephone system's ground post via an iron chain and collar.

2. The dog was receiving 90 volts of signaling current.

3. After several such jolts, the dog would start barking and urinating on the ground.

4. The wet ground now completed the circuit and the phone would ring.

Which shows you that some problems can be fixed by just pissing on them.

[Tako]

;D

lol the first one I liked but the second one was not all that funny..

[GUNWOUNDS]

Q:

[GUNWOUNDS]

[Khan]

Hmm, both quite poor attempts Gunwounds, better luck next time. :)

[Anathema]

When John Paul II died, there was a mistake.

John Paul had been sent to hell by mistake, while Herman Brood (a Dutch artist, far from pious, who comitted suicide) was in heaven. The situation had to be rectified, so Brood would walk down a stairway towards hell and John Paul II up, switching their places.

Somewhere between hell and heaven, they meet.

John Paul: "Finally, I get to go to the Holy Virgin Mary!"

Brood: "Uh no, she ain't a virgin no more."

[GUNWOUNDS]

Hmm, both quite poor attempts Gunwounds, better luck next time. :)

the word "both" implies i made two attempts when in reality i made 3 attempts.  Come on now if you are gonna critique jokes you got to atleast be able to count.  Cause i am sure that counting is required. Sorta. Maybe.

[erjin999]

Lets see...if I could choose to either have those jokes there for me to read or not, I would choose to have them. They are not the best, but miles away from being bad jokes.

PLus, on top of all that, they are better then my attempts at jokes so far.

Keep it up boys !  8)

[Khan]

Hehehe, that's a good one.

[jeff2429]

The one with the parrot was pretty good IMO.

[Khan]

the word "both" implies i made two attempts when in reality i made 3 attempts. Come on now if you are gonna critique jokes you got to atleast be able to count. Cause i am sure that counting is required. Sorta. Maybe.

Actually I was referring to posts not jokes, two posts, count 'em, 2...

[Megashrap]

ONE FINGER

PICKUP LINE:

Motion your finger for girl to come over to you, when she gets there say, I just made you come with one finger, imagine what I could do with TWO!

[Andrew]

That just made me think of another saying scar. :)

[DjCiD]

Hmm, both quite poor attempts ... better luck next time. :)

Story of your life?

If you don't like the jokes, you don't have to reply trying to raise your post count. This is supposed to be a friendly thread, not one where you rip someone after every post made.

[Khan]

Story of your life?

If you don't like the jokes, you don't have to reply trying to raise your post count. This is supposed to be a friendly thread, not one where you rip someone after every post made.

I do appreciate the jokes...

[Megashrap]

That is one big ass gun, I dunno if this vid clip is old or not, but it's still funny.

[DjCiD]

What does a Christmas tree and a man with a vasectomy have in common?

...

Ornamental balls ;D

[Anathema]

;D

Cid that's exactly the kind of joke I expect coming from you ;)

[GUNWOUNDS]

awesome

[erjin999]

Word

[Megashrap]

If you walk into a bathroom as an AMERICAN and if you walk out of the bathroom as an AMERICAN what are you while in the bathroom?

EUROPEAN