Those crazy Scots

[Edric O]

The Scottish Parliament seems to believe that English spoken with a heavy Scottish accent is an entirely different language. They call it "Scots" and apparently have some interesting spelling rules for it... oh, and they've "translated" part of their website into this new language already:

Walcome til the Scottish Pairlament wabsite

Here's an excerpt (note: Nema, you might want to sit down before reading this).

Walcome til the Scottish Pairlament wabsite

The Scottish Pairlament is here for tae represent aw Scotland's folk.

We want tae mak siccar that as mony folk as can is able tae find oot aboot whit the Scottish Pairlament dis and whit wey it warks. We hae producit information anent the Pairlament in a reenge o different leids tae help ye tae find oot mair.

No comment. :O

[alchemi2]

Great now you can not understand the Scots when you read as well as when they speak. ;)

[Dunenewt]

I'm speaking to two scottish girls at the moment and that's just how they speak.

[Tako]

and you guys are english so it must be more understandeble for me this is .......

(screams and runs away)

[nemafakei]

I really would like to know what their argument is, from a linguistic point of view.

The word they're looking for is probably dialect.

[Dante]

A dialect that, I would like to point out, is not universal to all Scottish people. I for one often have trouble understanding those who speak with a broad Scottish (or 'Scots') accent. In actual fact, I find it quite irritating.

[The_Sadukar]

Hehe, for some reason I never thought you'd speak 'Scots'.

It seems I was right. :)

[Jack Leaf]

Holy crap, that sounds like a Finnish man with very little knowledge of English.

[nemafakei]

Ah, of course, that's what was annoying me about that 'til'. It's a bona fide scandinavian word.

[Mahdi]

And here I thought it was a thread on deep fried mars bars.

[Dragoon Knight]

Bah.  The Scottish Parliament is being stupid, then.  There is no such language as "Scots".  There are very few people around nowadays who still speak like that.  Mostly old men and women, and they'll die sometime soon.  I really resent that there are still loads of people out there who think that we Scots are a bunch of red-headed, kilt-wearing, och-aye reciting drunkards.  We only wear kilts on special occasions, have no more of a red-haired population than our neighbours and we don't say och aye the noo.  It's practically guaranteed to get you kicked in the balls if you do. ;D

Maybe we drink a bit more than some on average, but that's just Glasgow that does that.  Far too many Neds there, drinking Buckfast and wearing nothing but white.  Scotland is a great place, but we only have one language that we can truly call out own: Gaelic.  Feasher math. :D

Oh, and battered Mars Bars are tasty. :P

[Kiyouta]

Word from the streets of Edinburgh is that the Scotish Paliament is full of power hungry extremists who have no idea what the Scotish people actually want.

No doubt the plan is once the SNP have siezed power and created a seperate scottish state then they will make 'Scots' the official language. ;)

[garth]

Yet more proof the British Empire should've obliterated the silly region to its north when it had the chance. ;)

[EWS]

I am going to go on the opposite here.  Staying in Glasgow, yes everyone talks like that nearly.  And not just neds (Non Educated Delinquents for those who didn't know).  Ach, I feel that there is nothing wrong with that - can the site not have a bit of banter in it?  Rather then being called a language, it should really be called a "twang" more Scottish Slang then language, however if you do visit Glasgow (or Glasgae) then one may just find this site helpful.  I currently have just had two American student move in to the room next door to me who are struggling to understand the "Wegies" in this fair city.  Now for some fun;

The Scottish Pairlament (arseholes) is here for tae represent aw Scotland's folk. (so what's with the building designed by a non-scot)

We want tae mak siccar that as mony folk as can is able tae find oot aboot whit the Scottish Pairlament dis (dis?? DIS?? WTF??) and whit wey it warks. (warks?  surely werks?) We hae producit (where the hell did that extra i come fae?) information anent the Pairlament in a reenge o different leids tae help ye tae find oot mair.

On another not, the Parliment is ugly and should be burned. BURNED!!!

And we are not crazy....not all of us...certainly not me....BURN I TELLS YE!

[The_Sadukar]

JARRR! BURN! LOOT! PILLAGE!

[Dragoon Knight]

Yet more proof the British Empire should've obliterated the silly region to its north when it had the chance. ;)

Oh ho ho... that wink smiley at the end had better indicate that was a joke.  Since I am 1/4 of FED2k's Scottish presence, I feel that I must stand up for my country.  Don't mess with us Scots or we'll set Glasgow on you.

That's right, all of Glasgow!  We'll launch it at you from our patented Ned-Cannon 9000!  For those of you who know what a Ned is, you should be trembling in fear by now... and for those of you who don't, tremble anyway.  Join the crowd. ;D

[Dante]

There wouldn't have been a British Empire without us anyway...

[Edric O]

Well, Britain was formed when Scotland conquered England, wasn't it? :)

[Dragoon Knight]

Well, Britain was formed when Scotland conquered England, wasn't it? :)

;D *Dragoon Knight does a little dance.* ;D

[The_Sadukar]

*King Sard opens a barrel of mead and fills his horn* A toast to Scotland! ;D

[Mahdi]

Well, Britain was formed when Scotland conquered England, wasn't it? :)

Um, no.

Britain has existed since the Bronze age with the Beaker-people (who later became the Celts of the British Ilse).  500 B.C. I do believe was when the Greeks first recorded it.  Britains borders became defined in Roman times as pretty much modern-day England.

A real Briton (or Britain) is a descendant of the Romano-British people who populated Britain, Cornwall, Wales, and Brittany at the time of the Germanic, Pictish, and Scotti invasions. 

Oh course, today the word is used to refer to someone English or from the United Kingdom, but it is technically wrong.  The "British people" only live in Wales, Cornwal, and Brittany.

[Davidu]

Edric joked... DUH!

And gues what the romans colonised in southern England: Dacian legion auxiliaries. That's why King Arthur's colors were blue, yellow, red, and that's why in southern England when a a wedding someone goes in front of the crowd when they return from the church with a colored branch resembling a pine tree, as we do around here: a pine tre with ornaments as a simbol of life.

I'm so proud of our Dacians. They reached west as far as the iberc Peninsula, and East as far as Northern Palestine. Most of Asia Minor was inhabited by them. Frigia was one Thracian kingdom.

( Dacians are a part of the Thracians)

I LOVE HISTORY. ;D

[Mahdi]

Edric joked... DUH!

And gues what the romans colonised in southern England: Dacian legion auxiliaries. That's why King Arthur's colors were blue, yellow, red,

I LOVE HISTORY. ;D

Oh God.  Urge to kill rising... rising... rising....

THAT'S NOT HISTORY!  THAT'S SO BLOODY WRONG IT ISN'T EVEN FUNNY!

There, a little better.

Firstly:  There was no such thing as England.

Secondly:  No one knows that "King Arthurs colours were", hell there is no proof that he even existed.

Thirdly: The Arthurian period took place long after the legions left.  Approximately a hundred years after they left.

[Edric O]

I was joking about the fact that the medieval kingdoms of England and Scotland joined together to form the United Kingdom when King James VI of Scotland became James I of England following the death of Elizabeth I... So a Scottish king took over England. ;)

[Anathema]

Strange, I always was under the impression that Brittany was in France ::)

Or Gaul, if you prefer.