Age Gap Question

Chani · September 20, 2003

In a relationship, what do you think is too big an age gap?

Like.. if one was 17 and the other 23... or one was 27 and the other 33?

It sounds like nothing the second time but the gap is the same...

And what if the younger one was a boy and the older one a girl? Does that make it less ok?

Just wondered your opinions on this!

Inoculator9 · September 20, 2003

I don't think it should have any bearing... unless it goes more then 40 years... lol, which I think is just weird... :P

ordos45 · September 20, 2003

Six years doesn't seem so bad to me.

GhostHunter · September 20, 2003

Yeah, six years isn't bad. In fact, my parents have been married 23 years and they're 10 years apart in age.

Inoculator9 · September 20, 2003

My parents are like 14 years between :P

Gobalopper · September 20, 2003

The age gap is less noticable the older you get. Just compare 15 and 20 to 30 and 35.

Navaros · September 20, 2003

age has no relevance whatsoever (except for kids, of course).

age is just an irrelevant number.

Nyarlathotep · September 20, 2003

age has no relevance whatsoever (except for kids, of course).
age is just an irrelevant number.

For once Nav, I completely agree with you :)

Atomic Mitten · September 20, 2003

Me too !lol ;D

mechadragon · September 20, 2003

My rule of thumb is 8 years in either direction. After that, I just can't relate at all. My wife is the only one I ever dated that was older than me though.

Chani · September 20, 2003

Wow, thankyou people. Many people have said it doesn't matter so far... and it doesn't really bother me. In fact the more time that passes the less it bothers me, the only problem is I think his parents would kill me.

If you didn't gather, I'm a 22 year old girl and I really like this guy, but he's 16... and I think 16 is too young, but he's 17 in a month... but I'm 23 in a month.. but somehow 23 and 17 is better than 22 and 16.

I work with him, so I've never seen him with other people of his age, so he is quite mature (I work in a pub/bar and I'm a barmaid and he washes up in the kitchens.)

Anywayyy.. I'm starting to really like this guy. The only problem is his age... and people at work think its ok.. you guys think its ok.... so i need to straighten it in my own head now!! And figure out a way to survive the parental wrath!!! (both parents drink in the pub regularly).

Atomic Mitten · September 20, 2003

Hey Chani.Don't let your parents rule your life,it's up to you !

By the way what Birthsign is your boyfriend ?

I think you said that your a Libran,right ?

Terror · September 20, 2003

well, IMO it differs per person. I know girls that are 16 but they could easily be mistaken for 20, whereas i've seen a boy who's 24, and i expected him at first to be 16.

Generally though, i would find it strange if the girl was like 6 years older than the guy. But nonetheless, it does not realy mean that i have a problem with that whatsoever

Cyborg · September 20, 2003

Age is not a barrier at all, in my opinion.

lowzeewee · September 20, 2003

You decide for yourselves.We are who we are.Nobody should rule over you.You are yourself. ;)

Cybopache · September 20, 2003

Does the parents know that ure seeing their boy?

I take it for granted u speak to then during their stay at the pub ! ::)

I donn`t think age is a problem!!

They see u are a nice girl,have a steady job,so I can`t see any problems here.

I once had a girl friend and her parents didn`t like me at all in the start.I had too long hair(down to my butt)too freaky dressed but in the end they had to admit they were wrong about me hehe.

The parents to my girlfriend now had the same problem but this time i have a Mohawk,african and native Indians handcrafted neckles and dressed in denim and leather but they too did admit they were wrong,now they love me.

So I think u should follow ure heart and take whats comin`.

Cybo

Anathema · September 20, 2003

6 year difference doesn't sound so bad, I can't imagine his parents giving any trouble about that. Either way you'd expect that they would let a 17 year old guy decide for himself.

nemafakei · September 20, 2003

It depends what you're doing and on the absolute age.

As a general rule, nothing but friendship should be acceptable below 14. I would say that on top of that, a percentage limit, based on the younger of the two should be considered, that being about 25% at maximum, I think (beyond which, friendhip and patience are in order). Beyond that, and I think that there are most likely to be problems, though it does depend on the circumstances and the people.

And "a relationship" is somewhat inspecific... I'll not ask details, but bear in mind that anything intimate reduces the 25% and increases the age threshold.

Chani · September 20, 2003

i'm not actually seeing the guy... i just really like him a lot.

as far as intimacy is concerned, even if i were to start seeing him.. it would be a loong way into the relationship before anything like that happened!

Inoculator9 · September 21, 2003

Well, get to it. Make that distance a little shorter, and start seeing him now!

Cybopache · September 21, 2003

Chani,U are a wise girl/woman ::) so u find the best solution beyond any doubts.

cybo

Atomic Mitten · September 21, 2003

Why wait so long ? life is too short.

Someone once said to me " if sex is dirty then the fault lies with the manufacturer "

Besides, say you wait 6 months and then discover your not compatible in bed with each other, what a waste of time.

Another quote: Ways of safer sex, " sleep in separate rooms" lol ;D

Inoculator9 · September 21, 2003

Ok, guy goes to Mars to interact with the Martians. Finally, after a while with them, he asks how theyy procreate. They take him to a big factory where Martians are being put together over an assembly line. The guy laughs, and the Martians ask why. He says, we do it differently, and the Martians ask how so. So, he takes one of them to over yonder hill and has sex with her. When he's done, the Martian woman starts laughing. He asks why, and she says, "This is how we make cars."

ExSPlug · September 21, 2003

Emm...so how does the guy you like thinks about the question? Even if everyone, including his parents, says it's not a problem, but he himself doesn't think so, it still means nothing.

Back to topic...there would be a problem, espically if both have different lifes, and the age gap happens in younger years. e.g. one being in elementary school, another in university...the example is exgerrating, but a person may change drastically when the age gap occurs in such years.

Even though people says "a gap per three years", well...leap over it then.

nemafakei · September 21, 2003

"it would be a loong way into the relationship before anything like that happened"

Ah, good. Far too many young people today are being somewhat too intimate in public; glad to see there is still a reasonable prudent section.

Though that said, I do wonder - whatever happened to this person you were so excited about a few months ago?

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