Abstinence until marraige--Yes or no?

[DukeLeto]

Whoo! Big topic! Think you can handle it? Here we go...

Where do you stand on the concept of abstinence until marriage?

And now some ground rules, given the sensitive subject matter of this thread:

-No porn, "textual images", or X-rated garbage.

-A mature discussion on such a topic really doesn't require the word "f*ck".

OK, go! :)

[Anathema]

I'm not religious, so why bother? I don't believe sex is just for reproduction.

[emprworm]

No "because I think so" statements. Support your opinions with facts

???? what kind of facts are you looking for.

one man says "I dont believe in sex before marriage"

another man says "nothing wrong with sex before marriage"

I am not sure what kind of facts you are looking for each of those responses.

[DukeLeto]

You're right. I suppose that's not really applicable for this topic.

[Apollyon]

no, what purpose does abstinence have but to restrict personal freedom?

[Digital Guerrilla]

What is the definitive purpose to abstinence of sex until marriage? This subject will crash and burn before it gets off the ground. There are not enough mature minds to discuss this subject.

[Apollyon]

indeed, although I can understand that sleeping around without taking precautions has a chance of bringing children into the world without a father. Also abstinence does reduce the risk of sexually transmitted diseases.

[Digital Guerrilla]

I agree with what you are saying Apollyon but it is up to people to take responsiblity for their actions. If you are having sex you should use precautions to prevent unwanted births and spread of STDs. Not only that but understand that we all are going to have a sexual experience if not today then tomorrow. Sex is a part of life it is both pleasure and procreation.

[ordos45]

Yes I believe in abstinence until marriage. Why? because:

1) I don't want to risk getting an STD sleeping around.

2) I actually want to love the person I lose my virginity to.

3) I'm a goody two shoes, I'm made fun of for not ever touching alcohol or illicit drugs, and that goody two shoes attitude extends to sex.

[Digital Guerrilla]

Ordos 45 I respect your conviction but let me say I do not advocate sleeping around it would not be something to practice universally. You can cause yourself much harm that way just by the things you alrady mentioned. Simple and to the point some will have more chances to have sexual encounters.

[IxianMace]

Yes I believe in abstinence until marriage. Why? because:

1) I don't want to risk getting an STD sleeping around.

2) I actually want to love the person I lose my virginity to.

3) I'm a goody two shoes, I'm made fun of for not ever touching alcohol or illicit drugs, and that goody two shoes attitude extends to sex.

Wow. I couldn't have said it any better Ordos45. That basically sums up my opinion on this subject matter. However I'd like to say more on point 2. IMHO, there would be nothing wrong with having sex with someone before marriage so long as you love them and you're not using them to 'relieve your sexual desires' and vice versa. i.e. if you love someone and they feel the same way about you then it's ok to have sex with them even if you're not married to them.

[Apollyon]

well, yes. I would only have sex with someone I have strong feelings for, but thats only because otherwise I wouldnt feel right.

[Digital Guerrilla]

Not saying your wrong IxianMace but what do you think your doing when you have sex even with someone you care about. Is that not a 'relieve of your sexual desires' in modest terms. In terms of reality it does not matter if you are married or not the sex is still the same the difference is how the sex is viewed altogether.

[Duneguy]

well its a little late for me to be like "ill wait until im married", but i do think that if one doesnt wait that person should take all the precautions.. as a lot of my fellow classmates have not and are fathers/mothers.. im lucky to be one of the guys who is at least responsible..

..............point coming..............

IF YOU ARENT SMART/RESPONSIBLE ENOUGH TO USE PROTECTION AND ALL THAT THEN YOU SHOULDNT BE HAVING SEX!!at least until your married.. then its open season ;)

[IxianMace]

Not saying your wrong IxianMace but what do you think your doing when you have sex even with someone you care about. Is that not a 'relieve of your sexual desires' in modest terms. In terms of reality it does not matter if you are married or not the sex is still the same the difference is how the sex is viewed altogether.

Oh? You think all people just have sex to relieve their sexual desires do you? Do you honestly think that all people are so primitive that they have sex purely to relieve themselves?

Some people may view sex as something with which to 'emotionally' bond to or connect with their partner rather than just a physical experience. Do you see the point I'm making when I say 'have you sex with only someone you love'?

[VigilVirus]

Hehe, it is funny when you people talk about 'have sex only with people that you love'. Now, define "love" for me. Where does love come from? Is it just sexual desire or something deeper?

[IxianMace]

I guess 'love' can be considered subjective. IMHO, it's when you have feelings of affection for someone that goes far deeper than just simple friendship. It is not sexual desire. Sexual desire is lust.

e.g. you see a really attractive person of your taste and you wonder what it would be like f***ing them. (excuse the blunt language) That is LUST IMHO.

Love is when you have deep feelings for someone that makes you want to spend the rest of your life with them. (Perhaps someone else can explain because I'm probably not doing a very good job.) :- But like I said, people can have different opinions about what 'love' actually is. One thing is for sure, love does not come from the gonads (if you get the drift.)

[Acriku]

I think there should be a lot of responsibility involved. And to each his own. :)

[sneezer3]

I think there should be a lot of responsibility involved. And to each his own. :)

Why? <excuse going off topic> But since you belive we came from nothing and God isn't real then why not do everthing and anything that you want and can get away with?

But of course even if i did wanna get away with what i could. That wouldn't be on the list. There would be a slight chance that they could get pregent And you'd have to pay child support. Sin always makes you pay more then you wanna pay and go further then you wanna go.

Yes I believe in abstinence until marriage. Why? because:

1) I don't want to risk getting an STD sleeping around.

2) I actually want to love the person I lose my virginity to.

3) I'm a goody two shoes, I'm made fun of for not ever touching alcohol or illicit drugs, and that goody two shoes attitude extends to sex.

i agree with everthing you said here. Also

2) I want them to love me two! if its singlur love then that is preety bad. if they don't like you or you don't like them then one of you will be disapponted.

4)They might get pregent

5)The risk of geting cought and haveing to pay for it is unacceptable has a ordos player would put it.

6)Knowing that i'l have to give an account for everthing i do. i would not have sex before merrige.

6)In the future you might have to pay child support biils. the last thing you wanna do after a sin done years ago.

7) I hear that reserch shows that people that do this actully have serus problems makeing relasonships in the furtue.

8)Its wrong.

9)They might turn you in,

10)You would most likely regret it years latter.

[Acriku]

Just because I don't believe in "your" god, doesn't mean I lack morals. I would not want to have a STD, or my partner to have one if I have one that I don't know about, and I certainly am not ready for a baby so I wouldn't want to go through abortion or perhaps ruin my partner's life and mine by going straight into supporting the baby all day everyday.

[SurlyPIG]

Well I don't see how this can be a debate. It's a personal choice a person makes and there's no right or wrong...the important thing is that everyone is free to make that choice for themselves. Some people think sex is sacred. Some think it's a natural function no more significant that eating. As long as people associate responsibly with those that have similar views about the subject, there's no real harm done.

One thing I will say though, whatever choice someone makes, be responsible. If an HIV positive man has sex with an un-infected woman and gets her pregnant, both the woman and the child will have HIV and develop aids. That's not fair. Not for the woman, and especially not for the child. It did nothing to deserve it, but it is condemned to death and has to live an abnormal life until the day it inevitably dies. No, that's not fair. It's not right.

[Edric O]

Err... what exactly are we supposed to discuss? This is a highly personal issue. And it's only a matter of opinion.

1) I don't want to risk getting an STD sleeping around.

2) I actually want to love the person I lose my virginity to.

3) I'm a goody two shoes, I'm made fun of for not ever touching alcohol or illicit drugs, and that goody two shoes attitude extends to sex.

I completely agree with those, but I would also like to add #4 (which is, for me, more important than any of the other 3):

4. I believe that sex before marriage is highly immoral.

[Terror]

Well, i don't care. As long as i can have sex before marriage :D

[gryphon]

Ok, it's obvious .. . the guy is Dutch ;D

As for me, 2 words ... .

"to late".

;)

[nemafakei]

I think that there should be criminal offences attatched to indiscretions, on obvious grounds of morality and decency, as well as socioeconomic grounds (STDs, overpopulation, etc).