Fiction Comments Go Here

[Dante]

Fed2k Meadhall, the longest tale yet has been told. Hoo boy, that took me two days to get right...

[lowzeewee]

Too many fan fics, too few participants. Result? The fan fics die out even before they reach the third page. All the participants are stretched out over too many fics that are just crying out loud to be completed as soon as possible. Why not have just about two fan fiction threads operating actively at any one time?

[Dante]

Firstly, who are you to decide what we can and cannot stretch ourselves to accomplish? Secondly, there are only two fics at the moment that stand any chance of being 'active' anyway; these being UWW4, and Factions 2. Espionage, Galaxy of War, and Earth '46 do not stand much chance of being active. Revival isn't a fic, and Meadhall is really only for those of us with the time and desire to retell some memorable moments from Fanfiction's history.

[lowzeewee]

Yes sir, I hear you loud and clear!

Anyway, why is TGED stickied?

[Dante]

Because it is the longest thread Fanfiction has to offer, and displays many of the qualities that we admire, as well as the hard work of posters. I do, however, keep pushing for the Archive to replace it.

[Mihail]

I would like to comment on a great resource for writers whose stories are placed on Earth in the present or near future.Google Earth is great for mking maps and deciding what country holds what territories, and so on. I know most people know about this, I just wanted to point it out.  :)

[lowzeewee]

I am done with the prologue and the first four introductory chapters of my fiction project. Check it out!

[Dante]

Alright, since I was specifically asked to review syeline's new work, I suppose I'll give it a shot. Those of you familiar with Reactor's topic in General will remember that I am not a kind reviewer, and beside that I really hate being asked to do this kind of thing. So, this should be fun.

First point: How exactly does someone tall and muscular look 'incapable of doing any harm at all'? Something needs to change there.

Second: Nobody uses the word 'hoodlum' in common speech anymore.

Third: Already too generalised. 'It was a perfect night for the hoodlums to be out causing their havoc by mugging, extorting and drug dealing. You name it, it was being done.'Who was being extorted? Why? How?

Fourth: 'causing their havoc' and the use of 'you' is just bad use of language.

[Dante]

It seems we have had a swift preview of some new blood. ...That sentance sucked. But it had all the words that I wanted to use, so it stays. I am of course refering to chatfsh's entry into the Fanfiction board. I actually quite liked it.

Yeah, shocking, I know. As the above post shows, I'm not a kind reviewer. But then, besides that the last person whose work I read was Reactor. And we all know how that went. *snigger*

So anyway... There were a few instances where the grammar was untidy; not 'wrong' exactly, just a little awkward. But other than that, no glaring errors. I even quite liked the plot, what little of it was shown. This isn't a review. I hate writing them and put more effort in when I do. It's just a quick post to point people in the right direction and thank chatfsh for posting here. Hopefully we'll see some more work soon.

[exatreide]

How about you do one for my fic? Home sweet home Dante?

[chatfsh]

I just read "Home Sweet Home" by exatreides.  I found it intriguing and was pleasantly surprised by the maturity of his literary style.  I found the Ryan character engaging and was immediately invested in the character, hoping he'd be able to solve the mystery of his missing sister.

There were a few grammatical errors and misspellings, but the compelling storyline captivated my interest sufficiently to read on.  I was a tad disappointed by the ending, but all things considered, I thought it was a nicely written story.

[Beonid]

I thought that the short story "Nothing like a hearty execution to start the day" was an interesting story, although some of the names were a bit hard to follow.

[chatfsh]

It has been brought to my attention that I had a duplicate post in my "Nothing starts the day.." thread.  I have replaced post 43 with the correct passage.  It's a critical scene between Crausin and his second son Rhence.

I hate that I omitted it, because to read it out of sequence diminishes the impact, nonetheless, it's still an important passage.

Dante -- thanks for pointing it out. :)

[Mihail]

Score! First non-Dante post in the thread. I haven't read any of them yet, but they seem interesting enough. :) You do know that I can't really congratulate you on your good job until you accept Jesus as the Ultimate Pacifist and our Lord and Saviour. Anyways, I'll be pre-occupied for quite some time with these. Thanks, Dante!

Edit: Harumph! Biscuit was, to say the least, interesting. Do any of Steven's characteristics reflect in you?

[chatfsh]

I for one was very entertained by

[GhostHunter]

Well, I'm off to Fiji, Australia, and New Zealand for three weeks.

I know it's not a big deal considering this board needs something "moderated" once in a blue moon. As I have before, I've asked Ordos45 to watch over fan fiction until my return.

Hope every has a fun and safe three weeks.

- Sean

[Beonid]

Don't come here! You'll freeze! And drown.  ;D

[chatfsh]

I just finished reading Edric

[Mihail]

Ditto. I must admit I haven't read all of it yet as I had to head off to a concert yesterday, but I plan to finish reading it today. From what I've seen, it is very good and well written. And since Edric is such a great debater and writer, I look forward to heated debates between cunning politicians and subtle revolutions. ;)

P.S.: I noticed that Thorne was President for 46 years. Is this some reflection upon Fidel Castro? Since I think that he, too, has been the president of Cuba for 46 years. Or was it 47?

[Edric O]

Sorry for not replying sooner, but I insisted on finishing the latest chapter (the Middle Empire) before posting here. I want you to know that I really appreciate your comments, though. :)

As a writer, I'm a perfectionist. I can't write a science fiction story and make up stuff about the world as I go along. I have to build the world first, then put characters in it and write their stories. That's why I'm writing all this history first. Once I finish, I will be able to look at my universe and say "hmmm, this event here is interesting, and I could use it to make a statement about X, Y and Z. Let's place a few people in this context and get a story out of it."

The American Empire is, of course, a cautionary tale. Something like it may very well happen. Or it may not. It's up to us. I definitely plan to write a few dystopian stories at least, and I will use the American Empire as their setting. One of my complaints about most dystopian writing (including the masterpiece 1984) is that it usually ignores the question of how the world got from here to there. What's the point of a cautionary tale if you don't show what went wrong? "Some evil organization took over the world somehow" (which is what 1984 does) is a bit of a cop-out...

Finally, the American Empire is also an evolving dystopia. Life is miserable, but it doesn't always stay the same. Some societies - especially universal empires - have a tendency to make people believe that things are the same way they have always been and always will be. But if you only look far enough into the past or future, you will see how false that is.

Feel free to ask away about the Empire; I'm almost done writing it. The chapter on the Late Empire is still to come, and after that the Empire falls (and the true space-based history begins).

P.S.: I noticed that Thorne was President for 46 years. Is this some reflection upon Fidel Castro? Since I think that he, too, has been the president of Cuba for 46 years. Or was it 47?

Well, Fidel has been president for 47 years, but no, there is no connection. The number was chosen mostly at random. (actually I wanted to kill off Thorne by old age as soon as realistically possible in order to make way for other presidents - 71 is relatively young, but he did have an agitated life; maybe he died of a heart attack)

P.S. Great thanks to Nema Fakei for coming up with the languages Espallish and Devangarabii! :)

[chatfsh]

(Not sure if this comment belongs here or in the

[Mihail]

For some reason, I was strongly reminded of 1984 in at least one one part of the Middle Empire chronology.  ;)

P.S.: I've decided to withdraw from participating in any more interactive 'fics, at least for the time being. It is not for lack of time, or other issues, but simply for the fact that FF is going nowhere. The only threads that stay active are those with only one writer, ie the Solsys Universe. I will remain a passive observer from this point on. Ciao!

[Vidi]

(this comment for The House of Shadow by GriMFandagO)

Wow, what can I say?

apart from: that was brilliant!  I know nothing of Magic: The Gathering, but found that to be a most enjoyable read :)

I can't think of any criticisms, so I'll just have to say, keep on writing.

- Vidi

[Lord J]

So....

Ok, I realize that I've left enough in the past to have virtually no say in FanFic politics, but... Whatever happened to the "spinoff" mentioned at the end of Fed2K Warlords?  I just finished rereading most of the thread, and I must say, I think that, short of the god-modding involved, it was some of the best writing we've done as a community.

I wonder if I should bump UW?

[exatreide]

Bump away.