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Davidu

By Davidu
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Anathema

Anathema

Posted
Posted

You know the world is going crazy when the best rapper is a white guy, the best golfer is a black guy, the tallest guy in the NBA is Chinese, the Swiss hold the America's Cup, France is accusing the U.S. of arrogance, Germany doesn't want to go to war, and the three most powerful men in America are named 'Bush', 'Dick', and 'Colon'

Scrinlord

Scrinlord

Posted
Posted

CANADIAN WARSHIP SEIZES TANKER IN... WAIT...

CANADA HAS A WARSHIP?

Oh Right, and Switzerland Has Nuclear Weapons

Arabian Sea (SatireWire.com) — Canadian television reported Friday that a Canadian warship in the Arabian Sea had seized a tanker suspected of smuggling oil from Iraq, leading many to suspect that the report was a hoax.

"You're kidding, right? Canada has a warship?" asked U.S. Defense Secretary Donald Rumsfeld. "Like for war?

"Does Canada know?" he added.

"Nobody was more stunned than we were," said Kali Omari, first mate of the seized vessel. "We saw this frigate steaming toward us, and we were worried, but then we saw the maple leaf on the flag, and we thought, 'Oh, Canadians. What the hell do they want?'"

When an officer of the HMCS Vancouver announced that the tanker was about to be boarded, the crew of the detained ship was confused, said Omari, but their confusion quickly turned to anger when they saw what the Canadians sailors were carrying.

"They were armed. With guns," said Omari. "Canadians. With guns. And a warship. What is this world coming to?"

"They were pretty rude, too," Omari added. "They started asking us all sorts of questions, like 'Where did that oil come from?' But first we wanted to know who gave them the damn warship."

According to Canadian defense officials, the Vancouver is one of four frigates deployed in the region to assist in the U.S.-led Afghanistan conflict. The tanker was stopped, officials said, because its cargo of crude oil violated United Nations sanctions, which prohibit Iraq from selling oil unless in exchange for food and medicine.

The U.N. said the incident is already under investigation, and promised swift action against those found responsible for giving the Canadians guns. Initial findings indicate that the Vancouver crew may have been watching too many American television shows.

DjCiD

DjCiD

Posted
Posted

You know the world is going crazy when the best rapper is a white guy, the best golfer is a black guy, the tallest guy in the NBA is Chinese, the Swiss hold the America's Cup, France is accusing the U.S. of arrogance, Germany doesn't want to go to war, and the three most powerful men in America are named 'Bush', 'Dick', and 'Colon'

ROFLMAO ;D

Excuse me please, would you mind passing me my spleen, it must of slipped out during that outburst ;)

Thats up there with the John Cleese Axis of Evil thingy, where did that post go, I think I left a rib or two behind there. ;)

Ack!! What's this? It wsan't written by John Cleese after all, it was done by Andrew Marlatt. Here's the article at washingtonpost.com

DjCiD

DjCiD

Posted
Posted

Why wasn't Jesus born in France?

Because they coudn't find any wise men or a virgin.

I heard a similar joke about the middle east, I forgot the set up but the punch line was something like there hasn't been a wise man to come out of the middle east since his birth ;D ok it's not so funny without the whole joke ;)

Davidu

Davidu

Posted
  • Author
Posted

You were making fun of the Canadians having a Warship. Well, after WWII we are obliged to have only one submarine. Somtimes I wonder why do we keep it at all. It is old and it is ONLY ONE! :-

nemafakei

nemafakei

Posted
Posted

How to protect yourself against US aggression:

Pass a law banning moustaches.

Notice the number of US presidents who wore moustaches. I can't remember one.

Notice the number of leaders whom the US attacked who wore moustaches:

Stalin, Castro, Hussein, Chi Minh, Omar, Bin Laden...

ordos45

ordos45

Posted
Posted

CANADIAN WARSHIP SEIZES TANKER IN... WAIT...

CANADA HAS A WARSHIP?

Oh Right, and Switzerland Has Nuclear Weapons

Arabian Sea (SatireWire.com) — Canadian television reported Friday that a Canadian warship in the Arabian Sea had seized a tanker suspected of smuggling oil from Iraq, leading many to suspect that the report was a hoax.

"You're kidding, right? Canada has a warship?" asked U.S. Defense Secretary Donald Rumsfeld. "Like for war?

"Does Canada know?" he added.

"Nobody was more stunned than we were," said Kali Omari, first mate of the seized vessel. "We saw this frigate steaming toward us, and we were worried, but then we saw the maple leaf on the flag, and we thought, 'Oh, Canadians. What the hell do they want?'"

When an officer of the HMCS Vancouver announced that the tanker was about to be boarded, the crew of the detained ship was confused, said Omari, but their confusion quickly turned to anger when they saw what the Canadians sailors were carrying.

"They were armed. With guns," said Omari. "Canadians. With guns. And a warship. What is this world coming to?"

"They were pretty rude, too," Omari added. "They started asking us all sorts of questions, like 'Where did that oil come from?' But first we wanted to know who gave them the damn warship."

According to Canadian defense officials, the Vancouver is one of four frigates deployed in the region to assist in the U.S.-led Afghanistan conflict. The tanker was stopped, officials said, because its cargo of crude oil violated United Nations sanctions, which prohibit Iraq from selling oil unless in exchange for food and medicine.

The U.N. said the incident is already under investigation, and promised swift action against those found responsible for giving the Canadians guns. Initial findings indicate that the Vancouver crew may have been watching too many American television shows.

After Vietnam, Canada had the third largest military on Earth. Nowadays they have no one to fight, thus the Canadian military is mainly deployed on UN Peacekeeping missions.

So that might actually happen one day.

Davidu

Davidu

Posted
  • Author
Posted

Why are we obliged to have only one sub?

Well, after we have humiliated the soviet fleet in the Black Sea with the 3 subs we had at that present moment, the Soviets later imposed us to have only one sub.

//--

In an economics class before 1989:

- Where is the capitalistic system right now?

- At the edge of destruction, comrade profesor.

- And where is communism?

- As always, comrade profesor, ONE BIG STEP AHEAD!

  • 3 weeks later...
Edric O

Edric O

Posted
Posted

Why are we obliged to have only one sub?

Well, after we have humiliated the soviet fleet in the Black Sea with the 3 subs we had at that present moment, the Soviets later imposed us to have only one sub.

In other words, after we sided with the barbaric nazi invaders to slaughter millions of innocent Russian civilians, they decided to be on the safe side next time, in case some other bloodthirsty maniac comes to power.

It's the same thing that they did with Germany and Japan.

Davidu

Davidu

Posted
  • Author
Posted

Hmm, Edric, before that we had only 3 subs you know... And besides, I really don't think that on the soviet warships there were innocent russians.

Edric O

Edric O

Posted
Posted

No, but there were plenty of innocent Russians in the cities that those warships were defending...

Anyway, this is going off-topic...

Acriku

Acriku

Posted
Posted

James Randi has reported (www.randi.org) that the son of Oral Roberts,

Richard Roberts has cancelled a faith healing meeting in Toronto, because of

the SARS scare.

ROFL oh the irony oozing out of this one...

Davidu

Davidu

Posted
  • Author
Posted

A military hospital operating close to the front:

Surgeon #1: Here! Cut the right arm!

Surgeon #2: Cut!

S #1: Here! Cut the left leg!

S #2: Cut!

S #1: Here! Cut the left arm!

S #2: Cut!

S #1: NO! The LEFT arm!

S #2: Cut!

S #1: The ARM I said!

S #2: Oh! Sorry! Cut!

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