Dunenewt Posted March 15, 2003 Share Posted March 15, 2003 It's not a newspaper it's a tabloid and anything they print or create is lower than garbage.Its quite a good newspaper Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ordos45 Posted March 15, 2003 Share Posted March 15, 2003 A French History Professor, a German History Professor, and a British History Professor walk into a bar. They get talking about World War 2.The German says," We took France in a pathetic amount of time."The Frenchman says," We fought even after the official surrender. Your people never really conquered us!"They continued to fight for several more minutes before they turned to the British Professor for his views.He speaks up with a grin," We abandoned the French, defended ourselves, and not a single German troop landed in Great Britain!"(See, I have no sense of humor) Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
slaphapy Posted March 15, 2003 Share Posted March 15, 2003 even more french jokes----ok here are some quotes from people about the french ;D :"France has neither winter nor summer nor morals. Apart from these drawbacks it is a fine country. France has usually been governed by prostitutes." - Mark Twain"I would rather have a German division in front of me than a French one behind me." - General George S. Patton"Going to war without France is like going deer hunting without your accordion." -General Norman Schwartzkopf"We can stand here like the French, or we can do something about it." - Marge Simpson"As far as I'm concerned, war always means failure" - Jacques Chirac"As far as France is concerned, you're right." - Rush Limbaugh"The only time France wants us to go to war is when the German Army is sitting in Paris sipping coffee." - Regis Philbin"The French are a smallish, monkey-looking bunch and not dressed any better, on average, than the citezens of Baltimore. True, you can sit outside in Paris and drink little cups of coffee, but why this is more stylish than sitting inside and drinking large glasses of whiskey I don't know." - P.J O'Rourke"You know, the French remind me a little bit of an aging actress of the 1940's who was still trying to dine out on her looks but doesn't have the face for it." - John McCain, U.S. Senator from Arizona"You know why the French don't want to bomb Saddam Hussein? Because he hates America, he loves mistresses and wears a beret. He is French, people." - Conan O'Brien"I don't know why people are surpised that France won't help us get Saddam out of Iraq. After all, France woudlnt' help us get the Germans out of France!" - Jay Leno"The last time the French asked for 'more proof' it came marching into Paris under a German Flag." - David Letterman"It is good to have France on Iraq's side, because they will be able to teach the Iraqis how to surrender!!!" - Fred Barnes (Fox news)__________________________how many Frenchman does it take to change a light bulb? One, he holds the bulb and all of Europe revolves around him. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Edric O Posted March 16, 2003 Share Posted March 16, 2003 Well, Gob, I didn't draw these either. ;D"Si-- He--" - come on, you can fill in the blanks! :) Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ordos45 Posted March 16, 2003 Share Posted March 16, 2003 Actually when the allies began getting real close to Paris the French Resistance took out a large number of Nazi forces occupying it. By the time the Allies were inside Paris in force, the French had liberated it mostly themselves. I know...stop watching the history channel.---A conference of Rival Nations is called. India and Pakistan send ambassadors. The Pakistani ambasador suicide bombs and kills the Indian ambassador.North Korea and South Korea send ambassadors. The North Korean kills them both with a small nuclear weapon.Israel and Palestine send ambassadors to work out an end to the terrorist attacks plaguing Israel. The Palestinian ambassador blows himself and his counterpart up.China and Japan send ambassadors, and they actually work out a deal on the Japanese helping to update Chinese military technology. The World War 1-2 Hatchet is burried.Then finally the US Ambassador arrives to meet with the French Ambassador. Both pull out handguns, throw them to the side, and give a good laugh that everyone thinks they hate each other.(Bad wasn't it?) Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
die4honr Posted March 16, 2003 Share Posted March 16, 2003 (THIS IS A RACIST 1 SO IF IT IS TOO INAPPROPRIATE THEN TAKE IT OFF)How long does it take a black woman to take a dump?????????9 monthsok there are 3 men on a cliff...1 is white 1 is mexican and the other is black...it is said that if you jump off the cliff and say a word u will turn into whatever you say and live forever....so the white guys is brave so he sprints and hurls himself off the cliff and says EAGLE!!! The mexican says ok i got 1...he sprints and dives and shouts out Tucan and he turns into 1...so the black says i have 1 and he is gett phyched and gets a running start and is running very fast and then he trips over a rock and shouts out "SHIT!" Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
slaphapy Posted March 16, 2003 Share Posted March 16, 2003 More french jokes--- ;DThree guys, an Englishman, a Frenchman and an American are out walking along the beach together one day. They come across a lantern and a genie pops out of it. "I will give you each one wish, " says the genie. The American says, "I am a farmer, my dad was a farmer, and my son will also farm. I want the land to be forever fertile in America." With a blink of the genie's eye, 'FOOM' - the land in America was forever made fertile for farming. The Frenchman was amazed, so he said, "I want a wall around France, so that no one can come into our precious country." Again, with a blink of the Genie's eye, 'POOF' - there was a huge wall around France. The Englishman asks, "I'm very curious. Please tell me more about this wall. The Genie explains, "Well, it's about 150 feet high, 50 feet thick and nothing can get in or out." The Englishman says, "Fill it up with water." (there are many variations on that joke ^^^)There was a Frenchman, an Englishman and Claudia Schiffer sitting together in a carriage in a train going through Provence. Suddenly the train went through a tunnel and as it was an old style train, there were no lights in the carriages and it went completely dark. Then there was a kissing noise and the sound of a really loud slap. When the train came out of the tunnel, Claudia Schiffer and the Englishman were sitting as if nothing had happened and the Frenchman had his hand against his face as if he had been slapped there. The Frenchman was thinking: 'The English fella must have kissed Claudia Schiffer and she missed him and slapped me instead.' Claudia Schiffer was thinking: 'The French fella must have tried to kiss me and actually kissed the Englishman and got slapped for it.' And the Englishman was thinking: 'This is great. The next time the train goes through a tunnel I'll make another kissing noise and slap that French bastard again.What is a citizen of Paris called?A Parasite Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Davidu Posted March 18, 2003 Author Share Posted March 18, 2003 The difference between a white cow and a black cow:White cow: moooh!Black cow: moooh, man! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Vanguard3000 Posted March 20, 2003 Share Posted March 20, 2003 My teacher told me this one today.Okay, so George Bush and Collin Powell are in a bar talking about the war. A man comes along and says "hey, you're George Bush and Collin Powell, aren't you?" They say "Yes, we are." The man asks "so what are you arguing about?" to which Collin says "well, we were talking about killing two million Iraqis and a blonde with big boobs." The man asks "why kill the blonde with big boobs?" Collin says to Bush:"See, I told you no one would care if we killed two million Iraqis!" Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
emprworm Posted March 24, 2003 Share Posted March 24, 2003 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Edric O Posted March 24, 2003 Share Posted March 24, 2003 ROFLMAO!Too bad you can tell that the flag was made in Paint... Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Andrew Posted March 24, 2003 Share Posted March 24, 2003 That was funny, maybe if teh flag wasnt so straight it would look more realistic. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
slaphapy Posted March 25, 2003 Share Posted March 25, 2003 hehe, I could make it look more realistic ^-^ Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Sardauker-Kirov Posted March 26, 2003 Share Posted March 26, 2003 True identity of Bush revealed!http://funnylikehell.tripod.com/bush3.jpgWoah! Revealed.... again? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Vanguard3000 Posted March 26, 2003 Share Posted March 26, 2003 Oh, gross! That was uncalled for! I came up from the end of the page, and I was all "ohh, hot!" and now I wish I had a red-hot poker to stick in my eyes! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Andrew Posted March 26, 2003 Share Posted March 26, 2003 Oh, gross! That was uncalled for! I came up from the end of the page, and I was all "ohh, hot!" and now I wish I had a red-hot poker to stick in my eyes!I know exactly what you mean.That picture is uncalled for and should be burned. Now I have a sick mental picture of bush in my head. Get out! Get out! Get out!There its out until I look at it again. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Digital Guerrilla Posted March 26, 2003 Share Posted March 26, 2003 Maybe this can take your mind off the big bad scary picture. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
slaphapy Posted March 26, 2003 Share Posted March 26, 2003 Oh, gross! That was uncalled for! I came up from the end of the page, and I was all "ohh, hot!" and now I wish I had a red-hot poker to stick in my eyes!*rips eyes out in a spasic seizure*ooo... you're right, that was hideous... and it's cruel to do that if you come up from the bottom of the page, like pretty much everyone here... Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Davidu Posted March 26, 2003 Author Share Posted March 26, 2003 He he cruel picture indeed. lol :O Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Acriku Posted March 26, 2003 Share Posted March 26, 2003 Three SaudisThree Saudis are sitting in a restaurant havingdinnerand trying to decide where to go for vacation.The first Saudi says: -"Let's go to Jerusalem".The 2nd Saudi says: -"No,there are too many Jewsthere, maybe we should go to Florida."The 3rd Saudi says: -"No, there are too many Jewsthere too,. let's go to New York". The 1st Saudi whines: -"No, there are far too manyJews there."A little old lady sitting at the next table leansoverand says: -"Vell, vy don't you go to hell, there are no Jewsthere." Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
DjCiD Posted March 27, 2003 Share Posted March 27, 2003 although some people may feel this is what its all about... us edumakted peopls no different ;)[attachment archived by Gobalopper] Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Acriku Posted March 27, 2003 Share Posted March 27, 2003 Precision-Guided Munitions are 600,000$ - not 60,000$...Sorry had to point that out. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
DjCiD Posted March 27, 2003 Share Posted March 27, 2003 I didnt make it go bug that guy.... ;D Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Acriku Posted March 27, 2003 Share Posted March 27, 2003 ;) The joke is still good, I'm just picky. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
DjCiD Posted March 27, 2003 Share Posted March 27, 2003 NOOO! It was my thread! I didn't want it here not to get spammed and lock in the dungeon no! I was gonna keep my thread in order and banish all the spammers that spammed no! Why, Oh Why! I even thought of locking it as to not allow spamination.... boo hoo *manically crying* :'(...oh well :- Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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