Spectral Paladin Posted November 30, 2007 Share Posted November 30, 2007 Just brilliant Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Kirby Gotenks absorbed Posted December 29, 2007 Share Posted December 29, 2007 He he. :) Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Kokiri-Mentat Posted January 5, 2008 Share Posted January 5, 2008 Did you hear about the dyslexic insomniac atheist?....................yea, he stayed up all night pondering the existence of dog. ;D ;D*edit*ok,ok. it wasn't all that great. here's another one.[tt]Two old ladies were waiting for a bus and one of them was smoking a cigarette. It started to rain, so the old lady reached into her purse, took out a condom, cut off the tip and slipped it over her cigarette and continued to smoke.Her friend saw this and said, "Hey that's a good idea! But, what is that thing you put over your cigarette?"The other old lady said, "It's a condom.""A condom? Where do you get those?"The lady with the cigarette told her friend that you could purchase condoms at the pharmacy. When the two old ladies arrived downtown, the old lady with all thequestions went into the pharmacy and asked the pharmacist if he sold condoms. The pharmacist said yes, but looked a little surprised that this old woman was interested in condoms, so he asked her, "What size do you want?"The old lady thought for a minute and said, "One that will fit a Camel."[/tt] Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
lowzeewee Posted February 8, 2008 Share Posted February 8, 2008 There was a competition to swim from Santa Monica to Catalina doing only the breaststroke, and the three women who entered the race were a brunette, a redhead and a blonde. After approximately 14 hours, the brunette staggered up on the shore and was declared the fastest breaststroker. About 40 minutes later, the redhead crawled on shore and was declared the second place finisher. Nearly 4 hours after that, the blonde finally came ashore and promptly collapsed in front of the worried onlookers. When the reporters asked why it took her so long to complete the race, she replied, "I don't want to sound like a sore loser, but I think those two other girls were using their arms." Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Dunenewt Posted February 9, 2008 Share Posted February 9, 2008 Also, Hitler got banned from XBox Live (this will only be funny if you don't understand German, since the subtitles have nothing whatsoever to do with the actual spoken words): Heh, yeah, I understand the German fine so it does make the clip lose its comic effect a bit, when you hear what he is really saying. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Dunenewt Posted February 13, 2008 Share Posted February 13, 2008 What's worse than having Michael Jackson babysit your children?Having the McCanns take them on holiday. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Kirby Gotenks absorbed Posted March 4, 2008 Share Posted March 4, 2008 (This is kinda "punny") A charge is speaking to a charge:"Male" charge: I think I've lost an electron!"Female" charge: Are you sure?"Male" charge: I'm positive! (He smiles) Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
drahgoon Posted March 5, 2008 Share Posted March 5, 2008 lolhmm i think i know one hehean irish man walked out of a bar LOL hehe. i dunno lol its 140am lol anyways b4 some irishmen get pissed at me im part irish too lol Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
gunner154 Posted March 5, 2008 Share Posted March 5, 2008 The charge joke was somewhere around here, I think. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Kirby Gotenks absorbed Posted March 5, 2008 Share Posted March 5, 2008 Well, I don't like reading 35 pages of posts. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Dunenewt Posted March 5, 2008 Share Posted March 5, 2008 They're funny posts though. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
gunner154 Posted March 6, 2008 Share Posted March 6, 2008 I remember spending a huge amount of time running through the pages just to look at joke after joke. It's worth it, believe me. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
MrFlibble Posted March 6, 2008 Share Posted March 6, 2008 I remember spending a huge amount of time running through the pages just to look at joke after joke. Same with me. I even emailed some of them to my friend :) Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
gunner154 Posted March 6, 2008 Share Posted March 6, 2008 I did that too! I compiled the best jokes into 2 huge emails and sent them to some of my friends. That was a long time ago, when the Jokes were updated rather frequently. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Kirby Gotenks absorbed Posted March 7, 2008 Share Posted March 7, 2008 I'm sorry, but my teachers bombard me with endless projects and posters to do. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
MrFlibble Posted March 10, 2008 Share Posted March 10, 2008 I got a feeling this joke is quite a bit... sexist. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
nemafakei Posted March 10, 2008 Share Posted March 10, 2008 It was also REALLY racist. So it isn't here any more. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Dunenewt Posted March 10, 2008 Share Posted March 10, 2008 Oh, I missed it... Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
lowzeewee Posted March 11, 2008 Share Posted March 11, 2008 Not a joke this time, but just a couple of questions for you to answer:First Question: You are participating in a race. You overtake the second person. What position are you in? Second Question: If you overtake the last person, which position are you in?Third Question: Take 1000 and add 40 to it. Now add another 1000. Now add 30. Add another 1000. Now add 20. Now add another 1000 Now add 10. What is the total? * * ****Did you get 5000? The correct answer is actually 4100. Fourth Question: Mary's father has five daughters: 1. Nana, 2. Nene, 3. Nini, 4. Nono. What is the name of the fifth daughter? Fifth Question:A mute person goes into a shop and wants to buy a toothbrush. By imitating the action of brushing his teeth he successfully expresses himself to the shopkeeper and the purchase is done. Next, a blind man comes into the shop who wants to buy a pair of sunglasses; how does HE indicate what he wants? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
nemafakei Posted March 11, 2008 Share Posted March 11, 2008 [hide]"You are participating in a race. You overtake the second person. What position are you in?"After overtaking, Second."If you overtake the last person, which position are you in?"Actually, this is known as "lapping". You cannot overtake the last person, as they would not have been last, you would."What is the total?"4100"Did you get 5000?"No."What is the name of the fifth daughter?"All five daughters have been named; the fifth to be named is Nono, though the numbering implies Mary might have been fifth chronologically."Next, a blind man comes into the shop who wants to buy a pair of sunglasses; how does HE indicate what he wants?"Unless he is mute as well, he presumably just asks for some. What he wants them for is another question, of course.[/hide] Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Kirby Gotenks absorbed Posted March 11, 2008 Share Posted March 11, 2008 I got a feeling this joke is quite a bit... sexist.How is this joke sexist in any way? And I should know because I'm completely not sexist. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
lowzeewee Posted March 12, 2008 Share Posted March 12, 2008 The sexist joke has been removed. It was too much for the squeaky-clean forum members of Fed2k to stomach. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
lowzeewee Posted March 12, 2008 Share Posted March 12, 2008 I was depressed last night so I called Lifeline,A call centre in Afghanistan.I told them I was suicidal. They got all excitedAnd Asked if I knew how to drive a truckOr fly a planeQ : What's Kate Moss's favourite TV show?A : Whose line is it anyway?A birth specialist told a couple expecting their first child that it is important for the man to go walking with the woman to maintain her good health. So the man replies, "Sure, but is it okay if she carries the golf bag?" Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Kirby Gotenks absorbed Posted March 12, 2008 Share Posted March 12, 2008 The sexist joke has been removed. It was too much for the squeaky-clean forum members of Fed2k to stomach.Oh, I thought people were speaking about the charge joke. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Dunenewt Posted March 13, 2008 Share Posted March 13, 2008 The Welsh mining industry looks set for a comeback!Apparently they have found some Copper in Snowdonia. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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