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Loonatics? Um...

Gobalopper

By Gobalopper
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Dragoon Knight

Dragoon Knight

Posted
Posted

Just when I thought there was nothing of my youth left to molest, Warner Brothers come up with this. >:(

Do you know how frustrating it is to be just 18, and yet still be able to go around saying to kids that it was "better back in the day"?!  It all started with the play-parks I used to go to being torn down, and it looks as though they aren't halting the destruction of what I used to hold dear any time soon.

Excuse me while I regurgitate my lunch.

Terror

Terror

Posted
Posted

I never liked the looney tunes anyway. Johnny Bravo or Captain Planet for me...

oh no wait!!

not captain planet.. but dungeons and dragons was cool.

Dragoon Knight

Dragoon Knight

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:D Captain Planet!  NOSTALGIA ATTACK!

"EARTH!"

"FIRE!"

"WIND!"

"WATER!"

"HEART!"

"Go Planet!"

"By your powers combined, I am Captain Planet!"

Captain Planet, he's our hero

Gonna take pollution down to zero

He's our powers magnified

And he's fighting on the planet's side

Captain Planet, he's our hero

Gonna take pollution down to zero

Gonna help him put asunder

Bad guys who like to loot and plunder

"You'll pay for this Captain Planet!"

We're the Planeteers

You can be one too

'Cause saving our planet is the thing to do!

Looting and polluting is not the way

Hear what Captain Planet has to say!

"The Power is Yours!"

[attachment archived by Gobalopper]

Dante

Dante

Posted
Posted

This frightens me. The new, evil remakes; the memorisation of the words... the nostalgia for 'good old days' when I'm still not old enough to vote... This whole topic scares me; perhaps primarily because I know I agree with you.

Tako

Tako

Posted
Posted

is there no way they can come up with something new?

everyday they use old figures and idea's and melt them in a new form and say: "we got some thing new"

but it is'nt!

IT IS'NT

whaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa

now I go and cry in a little corner

*walks away sobbing*  :'(

Dragoon Knight

Dragoon Knight

Posted
Posted

I think Brian Clevinger of 8-Bit Theater fame, says it best.  This is his latest news post... I would have posted the link, but it will change the next time a new comic is uploaded.  So here's the post itself (Warning: Contains some bad language, delete this post if too inappropriate)

The following image has been floating around various forums for several days now. For those of you who don't know, the WB wants to revamp some of their classic cartoon characters for the hip, young, edgy, and totally x-treme youth of today.

Nevermind that we were all very tired of it five years ago when that sort of thing was only new and painfully dull. Now it's hackneyed, cliche, and kind of sad.

Look out, Bugs Bunny. Make room for BUZZ BUNNY (totally x-treme guitar riff, yyeeeeeeaaah!)

godawfulinaneshit.jpg

Loonatics, man! 'Cause they're CRAZY. They make regular x-treme look, like, y'know, something so not x-treme you can't think of a word for it. You can't talk about them without excessive use of BOLD ITACLIC CAPS, MAN, TO THE MAX!

I find the philosophy behind being a television or Hollywood executive fascinating. Apparently these are people utterly devoid of taste or culture. They are completely without a sense of what is good. It's like how sociopaths are incapable of feeling empathy. They can maim and kill and torture people because they are hardwired not to understand that it's bad to do that. You can't fix these people, they are broken from the factory and need to be destroyed after studying how fucked up they are so we can identify and destroy them better in the future.

That's what these executives are like, only instead of lacking empathy -- which they may very well also lack -- they lack a sense of what good is. The rest of humanity has it. Sure, we might disagree about specifics, but there are certain instances where crap is crap and no one can deny it. I'm not saying Catwoman was one such movie, but it was. Allow me to demonstrate using events from your own life:

You go to the movies and the trailers start up. Invariably, there's at least one (and as many as all) that depict a movie of such banality that you can't believe millions and millions of dollars were spent to make it when they could have been better spent by burning them to keep the homeless from freezing in the dead of winter. There are moments in these trailers that are obviously supposed to be hilarious. They edit up the dialogue, put in some wacky music, and cut to a record stratching while someone makes a goofy face.

And the theater is silent.

Why?

Because normal humans can detect shit. It's a survival instinct so we don't defecate upon what we eat. In the modern world, where survival isn't as important as entertainment, we've honed that sense to keep us away from things that will waste our precious idle moments.

But somehow, the very men and women who dictate what will constitute the most popular forms of entertainment, are the very people who have no idea what is actually worth watching.

Their only defense is to churn out any piece of shit that parrots whatever the last thing was that did really well -- NO IDEA HOW OR WHY -- and pray to their dark gods that history repeats itself again. This is why bullet time was used in everything, especially when it wasn't needed. "Hey, the kids loved that 'bulleted time', let's jam it into every action sequence for every movie, including period pieces and nature documentaries, and it'll be totally x-treme. Also, I will vote for my own raise."

After watching a movie that, somehow, was good, do you find yourself wondering how the hell it got made? So are the executives! Except you don't know because 99% of what's out there is crap and you can't believe something good actually made it. The executives don't know because they can't tell the difference. They are color blind and at a stop light saying, "Now what's the gray light mean again?"

This abortion of entertainment, LOONATICS BWREEEOOOWWR, is supposed to be a reaction to the success of Teen Titans. Apparently the kids, who are all quite edgy and x-treme these days, prefer TT because of the sharp colors, lines, and angles. Also, it's totally in your face and to the max with x-treme. Warner Bros. felt that their own cartoons were losing ground to this new wave of animation and it was time to update the classics to today's standards of x-treme which are, like, way more x-treme than they were in the '20s or whatever.

I find this funny because Warner Bros. neutered the majority of their totally non-x-treme cartoons because they were too edgy or violent for today's sensitive market filled with parents who are too complacent to take care of their kids and looking for anybody to sue/blame when precious little Hunter Madison Chandler Archer does something incredibly stupid/fatal because no one's there to tell him what's right, wrong, or real.

And these same all consuming, all screaming brats of the world have an attention span best measured in ritalin dosages, so they can't tolerate the slow pace and complex narratives of classic Warner Bros. cartoons after all the imitatable violence has been stripped out for their own good. Enter, LOONATICS SUPERFASTCLOSE-UPS AND EXPLOSIONS YEAH.

Maybe I'm going about this all wrong. Maybe other industries should follow this totally x-treme example. And follow it to the max. Publishers should make their products more x-treme and instead of books they could print GBAs. I mean, there's some reading there. Advance Wars has, like, a totally epic story.

Anathema

Anathema

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Posted

Jezus Christ

I don't know who this Brian Clevinger is, but he said it perfectly.

(Also, Captain Planet was hideous. Notice how every major racial group is represented, the overdone ecological blabbering, the blue muscular guy in his homo erotic outfit and the neo paganism (Gaia?). Political correctness to the extreme, all done subtly enough to keep the little ones from noticing.)

Dante

Dante

Posted
Posted

I noticed that, when I were a little tot. Didn't care though. Actually quite liked it. Also noticed how they do exactly the same thing with Star Trek.

Edric O

Edric O

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Also, Captain Planet was hideous. Notice how every major racial group is represented, the overdone ecological blabbering...

Excuse me, but environmentalism was the whole damn point of the cartoon. And having people from all over the world working together was a pretty big point too.

...the blue muscular guy in his homo erotic outfit...

In all fairness, just about every male superhero is a muscular guy in a homo erotic outfit.

...and the neo paganism (Gaia?).

Neo paganism!? Sheesh, don't you understand the concept of a children's story?

Political correctness to the extreme, all done subtly enough to keep the little ones from noticing.

You're just being a grumpy old man. ;) It's not as if kids actually know what political correctness IS - and it's not as if seeing people of different racial groups working together to save the Earth is somehow bad... ::)

VigilVirus

VigilVirus

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Posted

Haha, remember that villain from Captain planet who looked like a pig? You damn capitalists ;D.

Except communism never wanted to destroy private corporations because they cause pollution. This cartoon series presents a pro-environmentalist and anti-heavy industry prospective, yes, but it has nothing to do with communism or socialism. So...I must complement you on your BS.

Anathema

Anathema

Posted
Posted

Curses!

You may have found out my little secret, Edric O, but I don't obey your orders. This soul is mine now, all mine! (He sold his sould to me for $10 through some obscure fine print on the back of a contract, so it's perfectly legal too. Hands off my property!)

I'm staying, so you might as well take your Bush hating, socialist butt elsewhere because emprworm is in the house again, ready to protect and shield the innocent, gullible forumers from your communist propaganda.

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