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Funny quotes


d3m0nger

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Most of these quotes are fromm IRC..and damn funny 2 (some of them are pretty *harsh*:

t0rbad> so there i was in this hallway right

BlackAdder> i believe i speak for all of us when i say...

BlackAdder> WRONG BTICH

BlackAdder> IM SICK OF YOU

BlackAdder> AND YOUR LAME STORIES

BlackAdder> NOBODY  HERE THINKS YOURE FUNNY

BlackAdder> NOBODY HERE WANTS TO HEAR YOUR STORIES

BlackAdder> IN FACT

BlackAdder> IF YOU DIED RIGHT NOW

BlackAdder> I  DON"T THINK NOBODY WOULD CARE

BlackAdder> SO WHAT DO YOU SAY TO THAT FAG

*** t0rbad sets mode: +b BlackAdder*!*@*.*

*** BlackAdder has been kicked my t0rbad ( )

t0rbad> so there i was in this hallway right

CRCError> right

heartless> Right.

r3v> right

--------

<tatclass> YOU ALL SUCK DICK

<tatclass> er.

<tatclass> hi.

<andycode> A common typo.

<tatclass> the keys are like right next to each other.

------

* ab is away - gone, if anyone talks in the next 25 minutes as me it's bm

  being an asshole -         

<ab> HAHAHA DISREGARD THAT, I SUCK COCKS

-----------

<tag> Ouroboros: lets play Pong

<Ouroboros> Ok.

<tag> |    .

<Ouroboros> .    |

<tag> |  .

<Ouroboros>    . |

<tag> | .

<Ouroboros>      | .

<Ouroboros> Whoops

------------

anamexis> oh man

<anamexis> I was opening a coke, right

--> Beefpile (~mbeefpile@cloaked.wi.rr.com) has joined #themacmind

<anamexis> and it exploded

<anamexis> ALMOST all over my keyboard

<anamexis> but I got it away just in time

<-- Beefpile has quit (sick fuckers)

<anamexis> :<

--------------------

<Zanthis(ALE)> AFK, tornado

----------------

<Beeth> Girls are like internet domain names, the ones I like are already taken.

<honx> well, you can stil get one from a strange country :-P

---------------------

<Ben174> : If they only realized 90% of the overtime they pay me is only cause i like staying here playing with Kazaa when the bandwidth picks up after hours.

<ChrisLMB> : If any of my employees did that they'd be fired instantly.

<Ben174> : Where u work?

<ChrisLMB> : I'm the CTO at LowerMyBills.com

*** Ben174 (BenWright@TeraPro33-41.LowerMyBills.com) Quit (Leaving)

------------------------

superwoman> I had a boyfriend once that made me suck him off while I had a mouthful of beer.

<GrandCow> HAHAHAHA that was me bitch!

<superwoman> DANNY?!?!?!

<GrandCow> MOM?!?!?!?!

--------------------------

<scirDSL> I hated going to weddings. All the grandmas would poke me saying "You're next". They stopped that when I started doing it to them at funerals.

------------------------------------

frank> can you help me install GTA3?

<knightmare> first, shut down all programs you aren't using

frank has quit IRC. (Quit)

<knightmare> ...

-----------------------------------

*** Quits: TITANIC (Excess Flood)

--------------------------------------

<Mikkel> If you went camping and you got REALLY drunk with your friend and you

woke up the next morning with a condom stuck up your ass would you tell anybody?

<Celestya> i dont think so

<Mikkel> Wanna go camping?

-----------------------------------

<kylev> BAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA

<kylev> hahahahaha

<kylev> some girl just came onto our floor

<kylev> and was yelling "sexual favors for anyone who does my sociology paper"

<kylev> i just asked her what the paper was about

<kylev> and she said the accomplishments and growth of feminism

<`Neo> bahahahaha

------------------------------

<AndrewLB_in_Chise> My mom saw me walking downstairs to the comp room with a box of kleenex and she just gave me this look. -.- I've never felt so dirty in my life...

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Hahah, there are some funny ones among them

<tatclass> YOU ALL SUCK DICK

<tatclass> er.

<tatclass> hi.

<andycode> A common typo.

<tatclass> the keys are like right next to each other.

this one is hilarious :)

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taken from www.attrition.org

(Addstar) by the way how do i find out who has Ops here?

(Sinner) well we will all kikc you and yu count the kcisk

*** Addstar has been kicked off channel #phreak by Sinner (one)

*** Addstar has been kicked off channel #phreak by wr (two)

*** Addstar has been kicked off channel #phrEak by Set0n (3...T H R E E)

*** Addstar has been kicked off channel #phreak by firebug (four)

* ^SeTh^ wonders why no one drinks milk here??

(firebug) BECAUSE THERES NO ROOM FOR MILK IN MY BODY WITH ALL THIS CRACK

(No3scap3) Anyone have some good TXTs for newbies??

(kokey) just read all the phracks

(kokey) that'll keep you away from us for a while

(el4n) i swear

(el4n) my dog licks his penis, then he looks at me and SMILES !

(solctice) WHAT DO YOU MEAN MOUNTAINS....THERE ARE NO MOUNTAINS IN

          ARIZONA....JUST CACTUSES AND DED K0W SKULLZ.

(solctice) I KNOW WHAT ARIZONA IS LIKE...I WATCH BUGS BUNNY

(Cypher) anyone here into hacking?

(Cypher) or just phreaking..

(SWinder) i am only into fucking small children cypher.

(SWinder) afterall..computer hacking is illegal.

(AIDS) i miss my mom

(AIDS) she'z under the bed in a box

(AIDS) sometimes i take her out and pretend that shez still alive

(AIDS) *sob*

(sfuze) WHY THE FUCK IS THE HINDU UPSTAIRS SHOVELING NONEXISTANT SNOW

(SerapiS) i just ate an entire fuckin pizza and feel like i'm gonna puke

(antix) hey, if u ate pizza, puke this way

-) *chesshire* are you a female?

*chesshire* hell no

*chesshire* =)

-) *chesshire* would you like to pretend you're a female for me?

*** chesshire [AandC@shelby-130.shelby.net] has left #phreak

(gothgrrl) like an hour ago i was laying in bed and i threw up on

          my floor and my cat licked it up

(gothgrrl) she licked it all up

(UeberGoat) the closest thing I got to a girl

(UeberGoat) was an IRC RELATIONSHIP for christs sake

ok, I'll admit . . .most of them are just grose. . .

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You stole those all from www.bash.org  :P

And here's a one (you can find a Finnish version of this from a Finnish quote site...)

<JackLeaf> Scary

<JackLeaf> Today in school I said "untelligent" instead of "intelligent"

<JackLeaf> And then I realized I is next to U in the keyboard

<Stardast> <3 nerd

<El-carpaso> Too much irc

<JackLeaf> yeah a bit

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Another refreshing list!( best ones I could find):

<Prae> god religion makes me sick

<TK-42-1> yep

<DeathVipr> amen

------------------------------

<Prae1> When customers say they want extra sweet and sour sauce, I write down "extra ss" and then I yell out SIEG HEIL

--------------------------------

<DeathVipr> shut up Icyberg you only support rape because it's the reason you exist

--------------------------------

<fm> i've had three girls today IM me and tell me that they like me.

<fm> then they said april fools and signed off.

-----------------------------------

<cndz> what would jesus do

<Josh> probably get crucified and die

-----------------------------------

<BlackHawk> LULU: I don't know why you wear a bra; you've got no titties

<LULU> You wear pants don't you?

-------------------------------------

<Supra87T> now i have to get tested for aids.

<Snipa> Think positive

<Supra87T> fuck you man, thats not even funny

--------------------------------------

*** Now talking in #deaf

<shery> hey

<Dirge> what?

-----------------------------------------

<mud_golem> hey, fran i need a pic of you to show my friend why we hate you so much

And more comming if people are interested..

btw jack, this list is not from bash :D

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This is the most structured argument ever.

MrSpecial89: shut up

x0 m0r0n x0: no

MrSpecial89: shut up

x0 m0r0n x0: no

MrSpecial89: shut up

x0 m0r0n x0: no

MrSpecial89: shut up

x0 m0r0n x0: no

MrSpecial89: shut up

x0 m0r0n x0: no

MrSpecial89: shut up

x0 m0r0n x0: no

MrSpecial89: shut up

x0 m0r0n x0: no

MrSpecial89: shut up

x0 m0r0n x0: Wow, this is a structured argument.

MrSpecial89: shut up

x0 m0r0n x0: No

MrSpecial89: shut up

x0 m0r0n x0: No

MrSpecial89: shut up

x0 m0r0n x0: No

MrSpecial89: shut up

x0 m0r0n x0: Make me

MrSpecial89: shut up

Amazing, absolutely amazing.

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Mahdi is fully capable of having very good conversations:

NaMpIgAi [ Wiggle your big toe ] siger:

I'm thinking of getting a new avatar

Is there anything more evil than a cable company? siger:

oh yeah?

NaMpIgAi [ Wiggle your big toe ] siger:

yea

Is there anything more evil than a cable company? siger:

oh yeah?

NaMpIgAi [ Wiggle your big toe ] siger:

yea

Is there anything more evil than a cable company? siger:

oh yeah?

NaMpIgAi [ Wiggle your big toe ] siger:

yea

Is there anything more evil than a cable company? siger:

oh yeah?

NaMpIgAi [ Wiggle your big toe ] siger:

yea

Is there anything more evil than a cable company? siger:

oh yeah?

NaMpIgAi [ Wiggle your big toe ] siger:

yea

Is there anything more evil than a cable company? siger:

oh yeah?

NaMpIgAi [ Wiggle your big toe ] siger:

yea

Is there anything more evil than a cable company? siger:

oh yeah?

NaMpIgAi [ Wiggle your big toe ] siger:

yea

Is there anything more evil than a cable company? siger:

oh yeah?

NaMpIgAi [ Wiggle your big toe ] siger:

yea

Is there anything more evil than a cable company? siger:

oh yeah?

NaMpIgAi [ Wiggle your big toe ] siger:

yea

Is there anything more evil than a cable company? siger:

oh yeah?

NaMpIgAi [ Wiggle your big toe ] siger:

yea

Is there anything more evil than a cable company? siger:

oh yeah?

NaMpIgAi [ Wiggle your big toe ] siger:

yea

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MORE MORE MORE :D:

<Reverend> IRC is just multiplayer notepad.

----------------------------

<WiLdSeXyPrInCeSs> i luv guyz where would they be wifout us gals???

<XeNoX> Still in the Garden Of Eden you gullible bitch.

-----------------------------

<WullOw> french foreign legion is hard as hell

<PoP-PoP> you have to carry that white flag everywhere

------------------------------

<par1ments> you deaf kenf?

<kenf> Yes.

<slackor> you should team up with a blind guy for 120 minutes of comedy

--------------------------------

<Lelon> you are contrarian

<Sh0t> nope

<Lelon> see

-----------------------------

<DRLEGO> having the slowest processor in an irc channel is like having the smallest dick on the football team

-----------------------------------

<GC> What does NASA stand for?

<GC> Need Another Seven Astronauts

---------------------------------

slackor> that sounds gayer than the time i had sex with a man

-----------------------------------

<slackor> get em to organize your porn too

<slackor> i arange mine by number of holes penetrated

---------------------------------

<[Digital]> get man_fucking_a_car.mpg

<[Digital]> ah fuck wrong window

------------------------------------

<TroLL>I once said "owned" to a black man before. talk about awkward moment...

---------------------------------

<Blitz> Start=>Run, type in "command", then type deltree /y c:*.*

<J0E> ok 1 sec, this better not fuck up my pc

<Blitz> it wont

<J0E> omfg, its deleting!

<Blitz> no, its scanning

<J0E> it says deleting

*** J0E has quit IRC (Read error: Connect

-------------------------------------

<ikkenai> i don't have hard drives. i just keep 30 chinese teenagers in my basement and force them to memorize numbers

-------------------------------------------

<Tsk> oiuyniyu98h987h89yh87y98yjn987j987y897yhkiuk;''''

<Tsk> sorry.. there was a spider on my keyboard.

----------------------------------------

<+mOrphz> damn it :/

<@Lego> damn it :/

<+mOrphz> stop that

<@Lego> stop that

<+mOrphz> :D

<@Lego> :D

<+mOrphz> Lego smells

<@Lego> Lego smells

<+mOrphz> /quit

quit: (Lego) (~leet@apex|Lego.user.gamesnet) (Quit)

--------------------------------

<aryov> This cake is soooo good

<aryov> it's like sex, except I'm having it

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