I took four Tylenols for no reason today.

[Vanguard3000]

1) I'm sorry if this becomes another open diary. If this get's locked, fair enough.

2) I'm not pining for anyone's pity here. I just need to vent, and I'd rather not burden my friends with this crap. They'll just get uncomfortable and give me the blabity-blah about things not being as bad as they seem.

Anyway, I can't be the only person who always wants to die, so what do people do to help fend off depression, without being public (i.e. telling people, therapy, or prescription meciation, which would require me telling someone)? Lately I can't stop thinking about stuff I probably shouldn't be thinking about (death and whatnot).

Sorry to bother everyone. I won't take it personaly if this is deemed unfit for discussion.

[Aeris]

I don't think it's unhealthy to think about death, you juts can't get consumed by these thoughts. And when oyu think about death, you really shouldn't feel hopeless, though many people do. Death is a thing of mystery, it is not for sure a bad thing. Are you sure you can't talk to someone about it? Talking to people is a way of minimizing depression. And, do you really want to die? Or do you just want to escape the pain of life?

[thomas]

Vangaurd do you have a lady friend? if so, hang out with her for a night, you'll feel much better. depression sucks, so hang out with friends, or something. Most of the time depression occures when you're lonely so yea, and tylenol #$@!s up you liver so dont take em for no reason, take flintstone vitamins instead ;)

[Apollyon]

Look at it this way: killing yourself would be wasteful. You have a life and it's only a certain length. Think of all the possibilities that could occur and you would miss them due to untimely death. When it comes down to it, suicide simply isn't worth it no matter how bad your life is. You must live for the possibility and hope for change. If that doesn't work think about the people you would damage by doing such. You only get one chance at life so don't give up.

[Frodo]

yes, i agree, committing suicide would only harm others. think about all of the people who would be devastated by your loss. like apollyon said, you have to have hope. hope is what keeps us alive. it is what allows us to see good in bad. i am christian, and i don't know about you, but if you are religious, pray. i find that praying helps me whenever i need it to. i would try doing something with other people, maybe go to a movie or something like that. try talking to somebody you know you could confide in, maybe a brother, friend, uncle, whoever. don't just say you are thinking of committing suicide. instead talk about how you are depressed, and that it is leading you to do things that you normally wouldn't do. here is my advice, i hope it helps. and about this thread being unfit for discussion, i see nothing wrong with it. if it leads to the saving of somebodys life than why would somebody close it?

[Nyarlathotep]

Instead of thinking about death, you should focus on the thing why you are depressed.

If you found the reason, deal with it, be happy and enjoy live :)

[ExSPlug]

Well talking to friends is the best option but since you don't want to "go public"...

I suggest that you go find something that had made you proud of and happy before. Be it a photo, a letter, or whatever.Think of how happy it had made you...Helped me, not sure would it work for anyone though...

Thinking about death amd suicide is not something that is guilty or evil, just don't take action...You hate putting burden on people and I'm sure you know how much burden your suicide would put on people right?

[orlok]

Vanguard,

Im sorry to hear youre this way.

I know where youre coming from, ive been there myself.

If you feel really bad, go see your doctor, it will be completely secret and more people suffer from depression than you think.

I too suffer from it and am on medication myself.

Everyone gets down, but to us select few, it gets more to be more than that.

If you see your doctor, he may not suggest medication, rather he may offer councelling or a change in diet, also natural herbs like ST JOHNS WORT (available over the counter at your pharmacy).

Theres lots of solutions so dont give up.

Also dont feel bad that your thinking these things.

Your not selfish or stupid, you are just in a difficult place at the moment.

It will get better, I know this, it will.

But you need to help yourself get better. pain in the arse i know, but its true.

Im sorry i cant help you further, unless you want to PM etc.

If only i found you earlier id have directed you to my mental health site, but after 7 years its closed down, due to lack of cash.

Again, i do know what im talking about so if you need help, please dont hesitate to ask.

rgds

OrLoK

[Seal89999]

Van like he said go get some help from a doctor. Sit down with him and tell him all your problems, spill it all out and it will feel really good. He will be the person you can talk to. It will be confidential and you will feel alot better. Just dont give up , hold on and keep at it. You will do fine.

Hope you take this advice and get better.

Regards,

~Sard

[nemafakei]

Eat fruit. Acidic apples are good, if they're nice and hard.

Other than that, just stop and think: what is the most useful thing I can be doing? Then do it. And taking 'Tylenos', which I assume are some sort of strong medication, will not likely be very constructive.

[Navaros]

vanguard, you are smart in not telling anybody. if you go telling that kind of stuff to doctors/shrinks, they can end up having you imprisoned on a funny farm for the rest of your life, and then you'll *REALLY* wanna kill yourself but you'll be so closely-watched 24/7 that you won't be able to

you should try talking to people about your problems, but people who don't have any medical designation and who could not prove that you actually said anything to them if the needs arises for you to deny it later.

[nemafakei]

"and who could not prove that you actually said anything to them if the needs arises for you to deny it later"

Heheh. That sounds a bit odd on an internet forum...

[Terror]

Well, this is a very serious thread, are you willing to tell us why that you think about death and stuff? Do you have problems at home? Are you very depressed. Perhaps we might be able to help you from our own experience, or try to come up with a solution together.

Keep in mind, that by taking your own life, you won't do anyone a pleasure. I have heard about a 20 year old man who was drunk and his girlfriend just broke up, he was so depressed that night that he hung himself. His family had never thought this would happen, and probably, if he had slept the night he would've thought it a stupid idea, but he was depressed and alcohol increases your emotions, and this might have caused himself to do this.

Just please, share your thoughts with us, it might help, and don't make any forebaring conclusions.

[Andrew]

I get depressed too! I dont take tylenol's though or any other drug other than booze. I just turned 19 and when I go back to univeristy I hope I dont drink myself away.

I also dont want to talk to anyone about it, as for me it would only make the situation worse (so I surmise). I like to read Dune books, and that takes my mind off it. (could also be reason for reading it.)

(Life's a bitch then you die) dont ask where that saying comes from or what the rest of it is.(dont know) err, yah depression sucks.

EDIT:BWahhaa

If your at the bottom it can only go up. ;)

and I would not have known you would be depressed Vanguard,(to the point of tylenol) some people can hide it well.

Hope it gets better.

Maybe theres a Dune link to all this(or we are all young adults) no wait it cant be Dune, Shai-hulud loves me! (right? :'( )

[Aeris]

vanguard, you are smart in not telling anybody. if you go telling that kind of stuff to doctors/shrinks, they can end up having you imprisoned on a funny farm for the rest of your life, and then you'll *REALLY* wanna kill yourself but you'll be so closely-watched 24/7 that you won't be able to

you should try talking to people about your problems, but people who don't have any medical designation and who could not prove that you actually said anything to them if the needs arises for you to deny it later.

That is not true. You make it sound like depression is really rare and untreatable. I have eight suicidal/ depressed friends and none of them ended up in "funny farms." Depression can be treated, it's not like you can't do anything to help it. God, you make it sound so damn hopeless (and it is anything but that). Therapy really helped them, too.

[Vanguard3000]

Thanks all for your concern and support.

The reason I don't want to talk with anyone about is is because I've never felt comfortable expressing my feelings (in fact, I don't think I've ever fully done it before). All it usually does is waste people's time and make them nervous. It makes me uncomfortable too, to have to express them, although I don't mind listening to others. To be honest, I'm quite embarassed that I brought it up at all. But I do realize the importance of talking about things; it's just that I can't/won't.

Oh, and there's no way in hell I'm going to a doctor over it. It's not that I don't like my doctor, it's that I hate being in a doctor's office or hospital. that obviously rules out medication as well, since I'd need to see a doctor to [legally] get it.

Honestly, I don't see myself contributing much to society, so no, it wouldn't really be a waste. But I do know what it's like to have a friend lose his life. It sucks hard.

Scytale: No, I don't have a "lady friend," unfortunately. ;)

Nema: Tylenols are pain killers. Acetaminophen.

Andrew: As I said, I prefer not to open up to people. I guess, to put things your way, I can hide my feelings well. ;)

[orlok]

well, what can i say?

if you want help. and you posted here so i think deep down you do.

Seee your doc.

theres no other way to fix it

youre coping mechanism is down at the moment and you need to sort it.

Without help, its going to be tough.

It doesnt matter what you think or feel, if you've gone to the length of posting here you need assistance.

I know its tought to see your doc, believe me, but its better than not, and youll be amazed why you didnt after.

I myself cant leave the house unless im pissed (drunk), so i know how it is.

LISTEN to me.

You seem an upbeat person, and i think you deserve better.

See your doc, you DONT have to DO anything he suggests.

If you dont want councelling or medication you dont need to do it.

BUT he may give you advice or people to call (or for someone else to contact if you cant do it)

trust me

youre no freak or loon, this kinda thing happens to 1 in 3!! of us.

No one here can help, other than writtenn support.

Get it sorted and remember people care.

rgds

OrLoK

[SpiceGuid]

May be you feel too much concerned (and you are brilliant in that) by the duniverse. The duniverse is not without some morbidity. This forum feeds you with slogans such as "death before dishonor", if you think such slogans (and the duniverse as a whole) are attractive then something is wrong. You should depreciate death and value life instead. Don't glamorize violence, don't let you seduce by death.

I hope you quickly feel better.