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** BUSH **


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Mr. President! We are being invaded by England!

Wait a second now...don't we own England?

No sir, we don't own England.

That's what they say about Australia too.

Well we don't own Australia either, sir.

Hell, what do you do all day then!

Eh sir, about the invasion thing...

I have an idea! Wait...no.

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Very funny but unfortuantly true thanks to Blair we are treated like the 51st state. Like when they ordered our special forces troops to fight in Afganistan. Still at leastit proves that the SAS and Royal Mariness rule.

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Hehe, yes. And Afghanistan proved that US 'crack' troops can't even spell.

I was sent this by a friend...

NOTICE OF REVOCATION OF INDEPENDENCE

To the citizens of the United States of America,

In the light of your failure to elect a President of the USA and thus

to govern yourselves, we hereby give notice of the revocation of your

independence, effective today.

Her Sovereign Majesty Queen Elizabeth II will resume monarchical

duties over all states, commonwealths and other territories. Except for

Utah, which she does not care for. Your new prime minister (The Rt.

Hon. Tony Blair MP for the 97.85% of you who have until now been

unaware that there is a world outside your borders) will appoint a

minister for America without the need for further elections. Congress

and the Senate will be disbanded. A questionnaire will be circulated

next year to determine whether any of you noticed.

> To aid in the transition to a British Crown Dependency, the

following rules are introduced with immediate effect:

1. You should look up "revocation" in the Oxford English Dictionary.

Then look up "aluminium". Check the pronunciation guide. You will be

amazed at just how wrongly you have been pronouncing it. Generally, you

should raise your vocabulary to acceptable levels. Look up

"vocabulary". Using the same twenty seven words interspersed with

filler noises such as "like" and "you know" is an unacceptable and

inefficient form of communication. Look up "interspersed".

2. There is no such thing as "US English". We will let Microsoft know

on your behalf.

3. You should learn to distinguish between English and Australian

accents. It really isn't that hard.

4. Hollywood will be required occasionally to cast English actors as

the good guys.

5. You should relearn your original national anthem, "God Save The

Queen", but only after fully carrying out task 1. We would not want

you to get confused and give up half way through.

6. You should stop playing American "football". There is only one kind

of football. What you refer to as American "football" is not a very

good game. The 2.15% of you who are aware that there is a world outside

your borders may have noticed that no one else plays "American"

football. You will no longer be allowed to play it, and should instead

play proper football.

Initially, it would be best if you played with the girls. It is a

difficult game. Those of you brave enough will, in time, be allowed to

play rugby (which is similar to American "football", but does not

involve stopping for a rest every twenty seconds or wearing full kevlar

body armour like nancies). We are hoping to get together at least one

US rugby sevens side by 2005.

7. You should declare war on Quebec and France, using nuclear weapons

if they give you any merde. The 97.85% of you who were not aware that

there is a world outside your borders should count yourselves lucky.

The Russians have never been the bad guys.

8. July 4th is no longer a public holiday. November 8th will be a new

national holiday, but only in England. It will be called "Indecisive

Day".

9. All American cars are hereby banned. They are crap and it is for

your own good. When we show you German cars, you will understand what

we mean.

10. Please tell us who killed JFK. It's been driving us crazy.

Thank you for your cooperation.

HRH QEII

No offence meant.

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Well let's see, I happen to like foreign cars, especially German ones. (Why is the US always ends up dependent on the economies it rebuilds after wrecking them?)

I do prefer what we call "soccer" but is called "football" in Europe over American Football.

Patrick Stewart is often a good guy in Hollywood movies, and he is a British actor. (Don't try to tell me the British don't watch Star Trek, I've read his biography and know about the incident that he was let off being a terrorist suspect because one of the Policemen knew he was Captain Picard!)

Who needs US English, I've been on these boards long enough to more or less get the handle on any type of English. I could go to the UK right now and be alright spelling words.

See I really don't get the accent thing. I have no problem telling apart British and Australian accents, I fidn them quite easy to distinguish.

Learning "God Save The Queen" is a blatant violation of my religious rights under your constitution and mine, sorry.

*laughs*

France be destroyed? Can we loot Paris so we don't destroy all of the historical paintings and statues around the city before we do it? Then, what's the problem, the French have never won a war without allies, except for that little incident called The Hundred Years War...but I believe the British know all about that.

We'll tell you who really killed JFK when we figure that one out ourselves.

Okay, those are my replies to different points, not in order, of the Revocation of Independence. But Britain might want to know every terrorist coming after the US shall come after it as well by making us a part of the United Kingdom.

(Okay, hope you all got a good laugh out of my reply.)

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Many UK papers printed articles with american soldiers' graffiti in Afghanistan that was (in any dialect of Enlgish) incorrectly spelt. The American writing was anti-british, so the British troops corrected their spelling, and concluded with something like "15 mistakes, and 5 instances of missing punctuation in two sentences - keep up the good work, boys!".

"I really don't get the accent thing"

I think it has something to do with an 'Only Fools and Horses' episode (very good comedy, mostly a few decases old, 1/3 of the UK watched the last two episodes) - two Londoners, while visiting America is constantly believed to be from Australia.

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I LIKE it Nema! whether anyone noticed... that was very funny.

Rule Britannia! Britannia rule the waves! Britannia rule the WORLD! SCOTLAND rule the world! Kill Blair! Make me the monarchy! MWA HA HA HA!

I've never much been in favour of patriotism, but that was until Bush. Lets all be friends with Russia!

(In case anyone takes that the wrong way, I know several americans and have nothing against them. Just Bush.)

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This sounds like an anti-American party =) Well then, let me crash it. Sure, lots of people like to hate Bush, most without any real good reason. And yes, most who don't like him didn't like him since he was elected (regardless of Iraq). It's a little unfair that hardcore democrats or people from other countries who perhaps hate Republicans don't give the guy a chance.

He's actually done a fairly good job considering the events that have taken place and most problems, like the economy, were starting before Bush got in.

Anyway, let's talk about the Royal Family and their gay rape coverups (and no this is not fictional).

By the way, I watched some soccer in the last world cup and it wasn't bad. BUT, I'll still take American football anyday. Soccer has slow periods for long amounts of time but football has the potential for action just about at any moment. If you like soccer more, then that's just because you haven't seen the NFL. Not that the US soccer team did badly though. They played just as well as England as far as progressing thorugh the tournament, which isn't bad considering about a tenth of the population plays it =)

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Sure, lots of people like to hate Bush, most without any real good reason. And yes, most who don't like him didn't like him since he was elected (regardless of Iraq).

I hate Bush because I hate right wing politicians. Frankly I dislike democrats for the same reason. Bush was not elected for his political achievements, he was elected because his daddy is famous. Without daddy no moron like him would set foot in the white house.

And there is the issue of his corporate friends. Rich ass industrials who pay him to influence his decisions. Not that this doesn't happen with democrats, bus as said, I dislike them too.

let's talk about the Royal Family and their gay rape coverups (and no this is not fictional).

What?

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