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Are you a Democrat, a Republican, or a Redneck?

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Here is a little test that will help you decide:

You're walking down a deserted street with your other half and two small

children. Suddenly, an Islamic terrorist with a huge knife comes

around the corner, locks eyes with you, screams obscenities, praises Allah,

raises the knife, and charges at you.

You are carrying a Glock cal 40, and you are an expert shot. You have mere seconds before he reaches you and your family.

What do you do?


Democrat's Answer:

Well, that's not enough information to answer the question! Does the man look poor! Or oppressed?

Have I ever done anything to him that would inspire him to attack?

Could we run away?

What does my other half think? What about the kids?

Could I possibly swing the gun like a club and knock the knife out of his hand?

What does the law say about this situation?

Does the Glock have appropriate safety built into it?

Why am I carrying a loaded gun anyway, and what kind of message does this send to society and to the children?

Is it possible he'd be happy with just killing me?

Does he definitely want to kill me, or would he be content just to wound me?

If I were to grab his knees and hold on ,could the others get away while he was stabbing me?

Should I call 9-1-1 ?

Why is this street so deserted?

We need to raise taxes, have a paint and weed day and make this a happier, healthier street that would discourage such behavior.

This is all so confusing! I need to discuss with some friends over a latte and try to come to a consensus.


Republican's Answer:



Redneck's Answer:


(sounds of reloading)


Little girl: 'Nice grouping! Were those the Winchester Silver Tips or Hollow Points?'

Little boy: 'You got him! Can I shoot the next one?'

Other half: 'You are not taking that to the taxidermist.

8) (I must be Independent, as I wouldn't even BE there!) 8)

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First step is to shield the other half. Second step is to make with the shooting. I'd be nice about it though. Can't shoot him in the face or he won't be able to answer questions afterwards, and shooting him in the kneecaps would just be unfriendly. One shot to the outer lower torso should be enough to wind him. Unless he's a real fanatic in which case he'll probably keep going and jump me and I'll put bullets into anything I can.

I'm not a Republican!

Just violent.

Bonus answer: Shield myself and the other half with the children. By the time he's done stabbing them he'll be tired and easily overpowered.

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I'd stand back-to-back with the other half and we'd watch for other attacks while the kids took out the obvious distraction.

(Both were weaned on this nursery rhyme:

<i>One in the heart,

One in the head

Makes sure the nasty

Is good and dead.</i>)

And for the record, I'm more afraid of the ign'rant, barely literate fans of KJA and the new McDune books than I am of Islamic terrorists.

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"I've closed my eyes and let the joy fill my heart and veins. The person walked in a haste towards me, but I opened my arms and praised the Lord with strong voice, for He allowed me to meet an ardent fellow believer. And we laid down our weapons and, turned towards the Holy Stone, prayed together.

For those who faithfully observe their trusts and their covenants; and who guard their prayers; these will be the heirs, who will inherit the Paradise (Q. 23:8-11)."

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The new McDune Books, stop reading.

Having a little trouble parsing, eh?

Like this:

"I'm more afraid of [the ign'rant, barely literate fans of [KJA and the new McDune books]] than I am of Islamic terrorists."

The books weren't the issue. Clear now?

And posting about it. Failing that come with new puns.

You could stop reading my posts if they bore you so.

Works both ways, don't it? XXX

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  • 1 month later...

I definitely wouldnt choose bang but would capture that teorist ask him why he was doing it and if I find his answer genuine I would imprisonate him for ever but not kill him maybe he could change his mind from evil to good.. Killing someone at first with out even knowing why he was going to attack you would be an act of a cave man or something that has been happening nowadays.. You call Muslims terorists and you Ignore the crys of a million Inoocent Muslims dying each day! And your 9/11 you made such a big fuss of 2000people dying(not that it wasnt tragic) but doesnt mean you should kill the your enemies innoceent unlinked civilians! Thta wouldnt leave any difference between you and the terorists...

Long before Muslims Terorist concept was introduced teorists were all over the world and nobody used to call Muslims terorists and we all went along but since the Jews and George bush Put this cheap rumor always bringing in the cheap excuse of the 9/11 everything in this world went wrong! And innocent unlinked countries like Pakistan had to suffer for no reason! Why?

Would you find it right if the world attacks you for the wrong that your president has done to them? Woud you like each day hundreds of people in your country dying?

Did you even realise how does it feel when you are in a war situation?

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Ummm, I think you'll find Pakistan harbours a lot of the world's terrorists!  Sure innocent Muslims die every day, perhaps when they are stoned to death because they were raped, or hung for being gay, etc.  Killing someone before he kills you is generally a smart idea, because terrorists generally don't like the idea of being captured.

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OH MY GOD! There are a million Innocent Muslims dying every day?! Why haven't I heard anything about this?! CNNj has been waffling on all day about debunked health myths! Oh the unfeeling bastards! Oh the humanity!

OH MY GOD!!! What's the birth rate in Muslim countries?! And the conversion rate?! Unless we ACT NOW, we could very well RUN OUT OF MUSLIMS in just a few short years!!!

And wouldn't that be a terrible thing.

Granted SAND, the characterization of the terrorist as "Islamic" in the OP was a bit uncalled for. But "Christian Militiaman" or "Basque Separatist" or "Abortion-Clinic Bomber" don't have the same resonance, now do they?

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