The 10 Commandments broken down...

[Acriku]

I saw this on another forum, and it - minus the language - makes sense, although a bit extreme. Take a lookie :

GEORGE CARLIN ON THE 10 COMMANDMENTS

from "Complaints and Grievances" (HBO special)

Here is my problem with the ten commandments- why exactly are there 10?

You simply do not need ten. The list of ten commandments was artificially and deliberately inflated to get it up to ten. Here's what happened:

About 5,000 years ago a bunch of religious and political hustlers got together to try to figure out how to control people and keep them in line. They knew people were basically stupid and would believe anything they were told, so they announced that God had given them some commandments, up on a mountain, when no one was around.

Well let me ask you this- when they were making this @#%$ up, why did they pick 10? Why not 9 or 11? I'll tell you why- because 10 sound official. Ten sounds important! Ten is the basis for the decimal system, it's a decade, it's a psychologically satisfying number (the top ten, the ten most wanted, the ten best dressed). So having ten commandments was really a marketing decision! It is clearly a bullshit list. It's a political document artificially inflated to sell better. I will now show you how you can reduce the number of commandments and come up with a list that's a little more workable and logical. I am going to use the Roman Catholic version because those were the ones I was taught as a little boy.

Let's start with the first three:

I AM THE LORD THY GOD THOU SHALT NOT HAVE STRANGE GODS BEFORE ME

THOU SHALT NOT TAKE THE NAME OF THE LORD THY GOD IN VAIN

THOU SHALT KEEP HOLY THE SABBATH

Right off the bat the first three are pure bullshit. Sabbath day? Lord's name? strange gods? Spooky language! Designed to scare and control primitive people. In no way does superstitious nonsense like this apply to the lives of intelligent civilized humans in the 21st century. So now we're down to 7. Next:

HONOR THY FATHER AND MOTHER

Obedience, respect for authority. Just another name for controlling people. The truth is that obedience and respect shouldn't be automatic. They should be earned and based on the parent's performance. Some parents deserve respect, but most of them don't, period. You're down to six.

Now in the interest of logic, something religion is very uncomfortable with, we're going to jump around the list a little bit.

THOU SHALT NOT STEAL

THOU SHALT NOT BEAR FALSE WITNESS

Stealing and lying. Well actually, these two both prohibit the same kind of behavior- dishonesty. So you don't really need two you combine them and call the commandment "thou shalt not be dishonest". And suddenly you're down to 5.

And as long as we're combining I have two others that belong together:

THOU SHALT NOT COMMIT ADULTRY

THOU SHALT NOT COVET THY NEIGHBOR'S WIFE

Once again, these two prohibit the same type of behavior. In this case it is marital infidelity. The difference is- coveting takes place in the mind. But I don't think you should outlaw fantasizing about someone else's wife because what is a guy gonna think about when he's waxing his carrot? But, marital infidelity is a good idea so we're gonna keep this one and call it "thou shalt not be unfaithful". And suddenly we're down to four.

But when you think about it, honesty and infidelity are really part of the same overall value so, in truth, you could combine the two honesty commandments with the two fidelity commandments and give them simpler language, positive language instead of negative language and call the whole thing "thou shalt always be honest and faithful" and we're down to 3.

THOU SHALT NOT COVET THY NEIGHBOR"S GOODS

This one is just plain fuckin' stupid. Coveting your neighbor's goods is what keeps the economy going! Your neighbor gets a vibrator that plays "o come o ye faithful", and you want one too! Coveting creates jobs, so leave it alone. You throw out coveting and you're down to 2 now- the big honesty and fidelity commandment and the one we haven't talked about yet:

THOU SHALT NOT KILL

Murder. But when you think about it, religion has never really had a big problem with murder. More people have been killed in the name of god than for any other reason. All you have to do is look at Northern Ireland, Cashmire, the Inquisition, the Crusades, and the World Trade Center to see how seriously the religious folks take thou shalt not kill. The more devout they are, the more they see murder as being negotiable. It depends on who's doin the killin' and who's gettin' killed. So, with all of this in mind, I give you my revised list of the two commandments:

Thou shalt always be honest and faithful to the provider of thy nookie.

&

Thou shalt try real hard not to kill anyone, unless of course they pray to a different invisible man than you.

Two is all you need; Moses could have carried them down the hill in his fuckin' pocket. And if the had a list like that, I wouldn't mind those folks in Alabama posting them on the courthouse wall, as long as they provided one additional commandment:

Thou shalt keep thy religion to thyself.

What do you think? This addresses the issue of commandments being in the schools, courts, etc.

Sorry, had the wrong version. This is the one I was talking about.

[Anathema]

I'll agree with that, but seeing as how I'm not American it doesn't really concern me.

Btw, do they still force children to swear something "under God"?

[Gobalopper]

As they say in philosophy, if you start with a falsehood you can prove anything. ;)

[TMA_1]

he sounds like a bitter, hedonistic guy.lol I dont believe that the ten commandments should be in school either. It will help nothing! Even christ wouldnt like it. You cannot change somebody from the outside, but from within. The 10 commandments were good for the jewish people during the times before their dispersion at 70 a.d. Also, people misunderstand the 10 commandments. Those werent all of them. There are hundreds of commandments that the jewish people had to follow. The ten are called the decalog. They are the main portion of the commandments. As for the guy's ideas about his own personal beliefs of morality, he sounds pretty typical for people in western society.

[Acriku]

Read the newer version, it goes deeper, sorry I forgot about it :-

Yes, the Pledge of Allegiance says Under God, and interesting history is that the Pledge was written by a baptist minister named Francis Bellamy, and he never put in "Under God." It was until 1954 that the Congress added it.

TMA did Moses come down with hundreds of commandments or ten?

By the way, this guy is hilarious when you read it without the stick in your ass cough tma cough ;)

[nemafakei]

"strange gods? Spooky language! Designed to scare and control primitive people."

I hope he's not serious... else I have one thing to say: It was written in Hebrew! Besides, I have nothing about 'strange' gods, just "no god but me".

"THOU SHALT NOT COMMIT ADULTRY

THOU SHALT NOT COVET THY NEIGHBOR'S WIFE"

Surely "Do not desire another man's house, do not desire his wife, his slaves, his cattle, his donkeys, or anything else that he owns" (GNB) - so they're not the same; the second is part of the goods.

What is a nookie? Is it something to do with Star Wars? (Damn it)

[Acriku]

I guess nookie is sex?

And I have no idea if he is serious or not, but there are some comical statements he makes, intentional or not.

[TMA_1]

He came down with all of the commandments. God wrote them all. YOu have to take out of your mind the typical steriotype that moses had only two, large tablets. There is something funny though I remember seeing.

"children of israel! here are our 15!! ... *one of the three tablets falls and breaks so there are two left* 10 commandments! lol

[Acriku]

Would you mind quoting the verse, and explain how Moses can carry down hundreds of commandments down a mountain? In the OT or the NT do you mean?

[nemafakei]

There were two pairs of stone tablets. The first were broken; the Israelites failed to keep faithful.

Exodus 34.1:

"The Lord said to Moses "Cut down two stone tablets like the first ones, and I will write on them the words that were on the first tablets, which you broke""

There were also some other things which God commanded Moses to Tell the Israelites (20.22-23.0)

All according to the OT...

[Acriku]

So those tablets had hundreds of commandments?

[emprworm]

*yawn*

acriku is really having fun with this new forum!

anyone notice that Acriku, as an atheist who supposedly is "neutral" regarding all the infinite possible deities has a peculiar habit of singling out one deity in particular?

fascinating. I am wondering who is more committed to Christianity: Acriku (in a negative sense, but still committed nontheless) or a pastor.

[Acriku]

If this forum were full of buddhists, I would discuss that. But, since most if not all the people who discuss in this forum are christian, it would be obvious to discuss christianity.

Also, I was Jewish before - so I use my past questions during being spiritually Jewish as well.

[quoudam72]

I think it is safe to say that outside of the Jewish and Christian religions the other 3 religions are not represented here at FED2k.

[emprworm]

other 3? You mean other 11?

there are 13 major religions of the world, if I am not mistaken.

[Acriku]

Don't you have better posts to reply to rather than argue against an irrelevant part of the post?

[Digital Guerrilla]

Acriku- funny and somewhat thought provoking did you say that was George Carlin? Never mind I see it now.

[Edric O]

Yeah, this is really funny...

Funny how George Carlin uses the actions of people who pretend to be Christians today or in recent history to make "corrections" to a text written over 2500 years ago.

Funny how all the current religion topics in this forum are started by an atheist (Acriku) as direct attacks against Christianity in particular, while complaining that Christians are forcing their religion on other people. ::)

[Acriku]

Hey, no one else was doing it, and it was being crowded with repetitive political threads, so I started some religion threads. Most of them were either to inform the reader, gather knowledge, discuss what I don't understand, or just for laughs. And when I 'complain' that Christians are forcing their religion on other people, I use that as an excuse for my threads when people complain that I am attacking christianity.

[Digital Guerrilla]

Yeah, this is really funny...

Funny how George Carlin uses the actions of people who pretend to be Christians today or in recent history to make "corrections" to a text written over 2500 years ago.

Funny how all the current religion topics in this forum are started by an atheist (Acriku) as direct attacks against Christianity in particular, while complaining that Christians are forcing their religion on other people. ::)

Edric there is a slight humor in what Carlin says I would not get angry. You have even said somethings about the bible being allegories and not real. I found humor in the simple things to laugh at about the commandments. How would you compare the Code of Hammurabi to the commandments?

[SurlyPIG]

Well if you would prefer, Edric, I suppose we could go off and bash Islam or something, but that would be boring. People might start agreeing. :O

;D

[thomas]

I guess nookie sex?

no. a nookie is a another term for a vagina. like limp bizquick or what ever his name is songs he did it for the nookie aka vagina.

[Digital Guerrilla]

Well if I have to say anything about religion I will say this.....

if it is Judaism if things happen it is why did it happen to us?

if it is Islam if things happen it is by the will of Allah.

if it is Christianity if things happen Jesus will take care of it.

if it is Buddhism if things happen are they really happening?

if it is Hinduism if things happen they have happen before.

:)

[lowzeewee]

"strange gods? Spooky language! Designed to scare and control primitive people."

I hope he's not serious... else I have one thing to say: It was written in Hebrew! Besides, I have nothing about 'strange' gods, just "no god but me".

"THOU SHALT NOT COMMIT ADULTRY

THOU SHALT NOT COVET THY NEIGHBOR'S WIFE"

Surely "Do not desire another man's house, do not desire his wife, his slaves, his cattle, his donkeys, or anything else that he owns" (GNB) - so they're not the same; the second is part of the goods.

What is a nookie? Is it something to do with Star Wars? (Damn it)

well said....my favourite commandment!*Clap X 3*

[Caid Ivik]

All Moses' commandments were easily put by Jesus to two, which compose the main philosophy of christians:

"Thou shalt love the Lord thy God with all thy heart, and with all thy soul, and with all thy mind. This is the first and great commandment. And the second is like unto it, Thou shalt love thy neighbour as thyself."

- Mt 22,37-39

To comment Acriku's quote, such outbursts of nihilism and hedonism caused already enough chaos on this world. We had two world wars and most people love more their wealth than others. Any evil trying to negate this is negating and betraying our very culture. Also that comparement to Hammurapi's codex isn't best, because that codex was law of state, not of individuals.