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I dont know how many of you reamber my dune-gate thing. it has bene scraped. but i am now working on a ff for RED faction. here is what i have so far.

&*********************************&

                             RED FACTION

   Eos Stood by the door waiting impatiently for Orion. She had already been standing there for 15 miniuts if Orion didnt come she would have to leave soon. She didnt want to atract the attention of the Ultar Gaurds.Eos was a lean yet muscular woman of 24 she stood at 5'5 with short black hair.

"Where is he?" She thought to her self.

She was just about to leave when she saw him turn the corner.

"Sorry Eos,Ultar made us pull a double shift agine." Orion said with his head down."Whats this meeting about?

"We need to recruet more members."

"How?"

"We need to get the miners murmering that there is hope."

"Listen the miers have bene beating into submisiom evre time there has bene any kind of uprising it has bene crushed. Many miners just acept there fates."

"There must be some way. we only have 45 members out of 625 miners."

"There must be a way."

"Wait i have a idea." Orion said running down the hall.

                                                  **************************************

     Parker checked his sensers. he already moved 2,000 pounds of dirt for the day but still 2,000 punds away from the quato. He hated his job he hated his life, evre day it was the same thing. How he wanted to be back on Earth. He thought 3 years in the ultar mines would help him sort his life out. How could he have bene so stupid? The conditions in the mines are barbaric. You are forced to time share bunks, to work double or triple shifts.Not to mention the Plague.When the guy next to you dies infront of your eyes it gets to you.Many miners are murming about a strike but no one has done any thing.

He sighed and continuned his work.

He was almost finished when he heard a anouncment over the load speaker.

"Great another double shift". He thought to himself.

"Miners unite. Ultar thinks they can beat us down into submission. Well they cant. Miners unite. Join RED FACTION!"

The auto defense mecinisem then kicked in.

"All miners are ordered to the ignore illigle bradcast and contine with there work.

He sighen and contiued his work.

   1 or 2 hours later the shift ended. He and the other 20 miners he was working with began the long walk back to the bariacs they like alwas were escorted by 4 ultar gaurds

&**********************************&

before you say anything nema just reamber its just a rough draft and has not bene revised yet. so keep your pants on.

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here is some more of it

&********************************************&

He sighed and continued his work.

   1 or 2 hours later the shift ended. He and the other 20 miners he was working with began the long walk back to the barracks they like alwas were escorted by 4 ultar gaurds. They approached the underground clearing whare the miners barracks stood. The barracks was a large gray structure 50 feet high and 40 foot wide. with a small door in the front. on top of the door was a  "Ultar We make the future" sign. As they approached the guard station that stood infront of the barracks there was a rumble in the ground then the deafing sound of a near by explosion. everyone dropped to the ground. they lay on the ground for what seemed like years. one by one they looked up and saw that he guard station had been blow sky high. Then they heard the small crackle of small arms fire. There gaurds had already ran into the barracks to see what happened.

Then the Alarm kicked in. The rebellion had started.

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Thank you yoshi 13. the reason i didnt finish  the sun exploding storie is that i had and still due a severe writing block for it. here is red faction with many the grammer fixed.

&********************************************&

                                     RED FACTION

                                        By Exatreides

Eos Stood by the door waiting impatiently for Orion. She had already been standing there for 15 minutes. If Orion didn't come she would have to leave soon. She didn't want to attract the attention of the Ultar Gaurds. Eos was a lean yet muscular woman of 24. She stood at 5'5 with short black hair.

"Where is he?" She thought to her self.

She was just about to leave when she saw him turn the corner.

"Sorry Eos, Ultar made us pull a double shift again." Orion said with his head down. "Whats this meeting about?

"We need to recruit more members."

"How?"

"We need to get the miners murmuring that there is hope."

"Listen the miners have been beaten into submission every time there has been any kind of uprising, it has been crushed. Many miners just accept there fates."

"There must be some way. We only have 45 members out of 625 miners."

"There must be a way."

"Wait I have a idea." Orion said already running down the hall.

                                                 *******************************************

   Parker checked his sensors. He already moved 2,000 pounds of dirt for the day, but still 2,000 pounds away from the quota. He hated his job, he hated his life, every day it was the same thing. How he wanted to be back on Earth. He thought 3 years in the Ultar mines would help him sort his life out. How could he have been so stupid? The conditions in the mines are barbaric. Miners are forced to time share bunks, to work double or triple shifts, not to mention the plague. When the guy next to you dies infront of your eyes, it gets to you. Many miners are murmuring about a strike, but no one has done anything.

He sighed and continued his work.

He was almost finished when he heard a announcement over the load speaker.

"Great another double shift". He thought to himself.

"Miners unite. Ultar thinks they can beat us down into submission. Well they can't. Miners unite. Join RED FACTION!"

The auto defense mechanism then kicked in.

"All miners are ordered to  ignore the illegal broadcast and continue with there work."

He sighed and continued his work.

   3 or 4 hours later the shift ended. He and the other 20 miners he was working with began the long walk back to the barracks. They,  like always, were escorted by 4 Ultar gaurds. They approached the underground clearing where the miners barracks stood. The barracks was a large gray structure 50 feet high and 40 foot wide with a small door in the front. On top of the door was a "Ultar We make the future" sign. As they approached the guard station that stood in front of the barracks, there was a deep rumble in the ground, followed by the deafing sound of a nearby explosion. Everyone dropped to the ground. They lay on the ground for what seemed like years. One by one they looked up and saw that he guard station had been blow sky high. Then they heard the crackle of small arms fire. There gaurds had already ran into the barracks to see what happened.

   Then the Alarm kicked in.

&********************************************&

Thats all i have for now but theres more to come soon. if you see any more grammer mistakes in it let me know.

                                                         _Ex

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Here is some more i just wrote.

     

                       &*******************&

     Then the Alarm kicked in.

Parker heard a some ones voice over the Alarm  "All miners who want to aid us in the Rebellion Follow me." he turned to see a miner standing in a nearby Tunnel holding a Ultar Assault Rifle. There was another explosion,He looked and seen the entire left side of barracks was consumed in flames.Parker had already made up his mind. He was going to fight.He got off the floor and ran to the man standing in the Tunnel entrance. He heard another explosion. He turned to see that the place whare he just ran from was consumed in flames. Evre other miner he was with must have been killed.

"Come on.The Miner with the rifle said tossing him a pistol. Were heading for the red faction base."

   Before Parker could say a word the man was already running. Parker did his best to keep up but he dident know the  Tunnel very well. They kept running for what seemed like hours, corner after corner.

"Who are you?"Parker asked the man.

"My names Orion. Orion said still looking ahead. Yours?"

"Parker. um.....do you know whare we are? It seems like we have been running for hours.

"Yea. Are base is right around that corner. he said pointing ahead.

"Um I think i took a wrong turn.Orion said standing at the corner.

Why? Parker said stopping besides Orion.'

"Because there a full Ultar guard station around that corner". Orion said checking his Assault Rifle.

"Any way around?"

"Nope"

"How many of them?"

"6. 4 with pistols ,2 with Assault Rifles"

"Lets go." Orion said  turning and opening fire.

                                                               **********************************

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                                                               &**************************************************&

Eos sit in her office with her feet up looking over some security documents. She sighed it had been a long day.

After Orion had run off she returned to the base to train some recruits. She was working with a group of about 3. Mavric, Stevenson, and Toip. The first lesson was ideals of RED Faction, the lesson took place in a food storage room. The recruits all sat on frozen chicken. Eos all was said, "If they can't sit on some frozen chicken how are they going to sit in a fox hole?

  Eos began her lecture "First Rule of Red faction is we dont kill civilians. We do that public opinion goes down. Public opinion goes down, Ultar gets more tropes, and we all know what happens then.

Stevenson raised his hand.

"You dont have to raise your hands you know. Whats your question? Eos asked staring down at the shivering recruit.

"What if we are ordered  to kill civilians?"

"It depends on what kind of order it is. If your supposed too kill one civilian thats thing. But if your ordered to kill hundreds thats different. Ones a accident but hundreds  is  a massacre. "

Lesson 2. Friendly fire is no way excepted. We have to few members to go fraging each other.

                                                               &**************************************************&

   The first gaurd was caught completely by surprise. He fell to the ground dead.  The other gaurds returned fire, but Orion had already taken shelter behind the corner.

"What are you waiting for?" Orion said turning the corner firing again.

Parker turned the corner . The Ultar gaurd station was nothing more than two, three feet high barriers on each side of the 8 feet wide tunnel. He fired 3 shots one of which landed in a gaurds leg.

"How many are left? Orion asked reloading his assault rifles.

"5, 2 with pistols and 2 with assault rifles. One has a leg wound though." Parker said.

  "RED FACTION".Orion screamed as he turned the corner and opened fire. 2 gaurds fell dead one from what appeared to be friendly fire and one from a shot in the chest from the assault rifle. Orion ducked back behind the corner.

Parker turned to fire only to see the backs of the retreating Ultar guards. He fired killing two of the retreating the guards.Orion then turned to fire killing all of the remaining Ultar gaurds

"Come on lets go. Orion said walking towards the entrance at the end of the gaurd station"Take a better  weapon Parker."

Parker bent down and picked up a assault rifle from one of the fallen gaurds.

"How far is the base?"Parker said looking up.

"About 1/4 of a mile" Orion responds already walking down the dark tunnel which stood at the rear of the gaurd station.

   Parker couldn't see a thing in the lightness tunnel.

"Got a light?" Parker asked

"Here. Orion tossed him a flash light.

"Thanks."

"Hey Orion how many members are there in Red Faction? Parker said walking alongside Orion.

"About 50 now."

"With 50 member why did you decide...

"Throes are base entrance Parker" Orion interrupted

   All he could see was the dark outline of what appeared to be another Ultar Gaurd station. But as he got closer he could see RED FACTION spray painted across the front. Then the distinct outline of people behind them.

"Well I'll be." He heard one of them say.

"Woody nice to see ya. Orion responded.

"Eos is going to kill you." The man said.

    By now Parker could see the people clearly . There appeared to be three men all holding Assault Rifles

"Look what I brought with me. Orion said pointing to Parker.

"Well lets go" Woody said walking towards a large metal door behind the gaurd station."

post your comments in the What The the thred. i am editing the top part now.

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Here is a better edited version of  the second part.

   Parker checked his sensors. He already moved 2,000 pounds of dirt for the day, but still 2,000 pounds away from the quota. He hated his job, he hated his life, every day it was the same thing. How he wanted to be back on Earth. He thought 3 years in the Ultar mines would help him sort his life out. How could he have been so stupid? The conditions in the mines are barbaric. Miners are forced to time share bunks, to work double or triple shifts, not to mention the plague. When the guy next to you dies infront of your eyes, it gets to you. Many miners are murmuring about a strike, but no one has done anything.

He sighed and continued his work.

He was almost finished when he heard a announcement over the load speaker.

"Great another double shift". He thought to himself.

"Miners unite. Ultar thinks they can beat us down into submission. Well they can't. Miners unite. Join RED FACTION!"

The auto defense mechanism then kicked in.

"All miners are ordered to  ignore the illegal broadcast and continue with there work."

He sighed and continued his work.

   3 or 4 hours later the shift ended. He and the other 20 miners he was working with began the long walk back to the barracks. They,  like always, were escorted by 4 Ultar gaurds. They approached the underground clearing where the miners barracks stood. The barracks was a large gray structure 50 feet high and 40 foot wide with a small door in the front. On top of the door was a "Ultar work sets you free" sign. As they approached the guard station that stood in front of the barracks, there was a deep rumble in the ground, followed by the deafing sound of a nearby explosion. Everyone dropped to the ground. They lay on the ground for what seemed like years. One by one they looked up and saw that he guard station had been blow sky high. Then they heard the crackle of small arms fire. There gaurds had already ran into the barracks to see what happened.

   Then the Alarm kicked in.

Parker heard a some ones voice over the Alarm  "All miners who want to aid us in the Rebellion follow me." He turned to see a miner standing in a nearby tunnel holding a Ultar Assault Rifle. There was another explosion, He looked and saw  that the entire left side of barracks was consumed in flames. Parker had already made up his mind. He was going to fight. He got off the floor He felt a hand on his leg keeping him down.

"Dont do it, you'll be killed."The man said.

But Parker Pulled free and ran to the man standing in the tunnel entrance. He heard another explosion. He looked back and  saw that the Entire Barracks compound was in flames every other he was with must have been killed. Every other miner he was with must have been killed.

"Come on. The Miner with the rifle said tossing him a pistol. Were heading for the Red Faction base."

   Before Parker could say a word the man was already running. Parker did his best to keep up, but he didn't know the dimly lit tunnel very well. They kept running for what seemed like hours, corner after corner.

"Who are you?" Parker asked the man.

"My names Orion. Orion said still looking ahead. Yours?"

"Parker. Um.....do you know where we are? It seems like we have been running for hours."

"Yea. Are base is right around that corner. he said pointing ahead.

"Um I think I took a wrong turn.Orion said standing at the corner.

Why? Parker said stopping besides Orion.'

"Because there a full Ultar guard station around that corner". Orion said checking his Assault Rifle.

"Any way around?"

"Nope"

"How many of them?"

"6. 4 with pistols ,2 with Assault Rifles."

"Lets go." Orion said  turning and opening fire.

As allwas the spelling is not perfect but i fixed some things in the storie line. reamber to post your comments on the what the thred. and if this is on a second page. thers another post before it.

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  • 2 months later...
  • 1 year later...

Oh,Ex,you WILL finish that story. ;)

Oh,look at this!Its a black camera with a point jutting out on the top with a small hole to take the picture with!

Oooh,and look at this,its some sort of trigger! ;)

BTW,EX,are you still updating your good ol' fanfic site?

*Sniffs*

Brings back old memories when I used to lurk around here as a guest.

*Sniffs*

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ULTOR EX!

ULTOR!!

Not Ultar.

Ultar is on the moon, Ultor is on Mars...I'm a Red Faction fanatic so I thought I might point that out..

btw does anyone want a copy of my Dune fic? Its about the founding of House Ordos.

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o/t then you must know that there's a sequel in the works, me and my bro played it for a while and was amuzed by deploying c4 on our bodies and run up to people and blow them of, or "simply" deploy c4 on other players.

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Ok, back on topic.

Ex, here are some ideas for it.

Parkers love interest(As you mentioned before)

There is a spy among them and the Red FAction base is found out, and only a few members escape.

Parker is sent in to spy on Ultor.

Parker hijakes(sp?) a mech and runs around fragging all the Ultor.

PLEASE DONT LET THIS DIE.

If you do, I'll continue it myself, and treat all the readers with some horrible writing ;D

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