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Computer stupidities. time for a laugh..

Nyarlathotep

By Nyarlathotep
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rogue1896

rogue1896

Posted
Posted

can't wait. btw, why would someone become a techy support person if he/she didn't know what the hell he/she was doing? it doesn't make sense. oh well. maybe they saw it as easy money. lol.

Nyarlathotep

Nyarlathotep

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can't wait. btw, why would someone become a techy support person if he/she didn't know what the hell he/she was doing? it doesn't make sense. oh well. maybe they saw it as easy money. lol.

Beats me why they become tech support. Anyways, here another few:

* Customer: "My computer won't work. You guys must have broken it when you installed the modem."

Tech Support: "What happens when you turn it on?"

Customer: "It won't turn on anymore!!!!!"

Tech Support: "So you don't see any lights or hear any noise?"

Customer: "I'm telling you it WON'T TURN ON."

Tech Support: "Is it plugged in?

Customer: "OF COURSE it's plugged in, you MORON!"

Tech Support: "When you push the power button it--"

Customer: "Power button? This computer doesn't have a power button."

Tech Support: "Sir, all computers have power buttons. Look at the front of the case, find the word 'power,' and push the button."

Customer: "YOU FIXED IT!! Thanks!!!!"

* Customer: "Ok, I've turned the computer off, then on again. It still says, 'Safe to power off, or press any key to reboot'?"

Tech Support: "No, not the monitor switch, the CPU switch."

* Customer: "I bought this computer from you two hours ago, and it doesn't work! I want my money back!"

Store Clerk: "Let me see..."

So I plugged the computer in and turned it on. I showed him that it was working, then I turned it off.

Store Clerk: "Sir, this computer does work. I'm afraid we can't take it back."

Customer: "How in the world did you turn it on?"

Store Clerk: "I pressed the power switch."

Customer: "You must have pressed something else, because I know for a fact that the power switch doesn't work!"

He reached over and pressed the reset button repeatedly.

Customer: "You see?"

Store Clerk: "Sir, that's the reset button. This is the power switch."

Customer: "That's a switch? I thought it was a decoration!"

* Tech Support: "Ok, so your monitor is not working, the screen is blank, and no matter what you do it stays blank? Do you see that button on the bottom right hand side of the screen? Press it. . . . Great, talk to you next time!"

* Customer: "Hello? My computer's power just died."

Tech Support: "Ok. Is everyone else's computer in that room working?"

Customer: "Yes."

Tech Support: "What were you doing right before it went out?"

Customer: "I plugged my curling iron into the power strip."

Tech Support: "Really? What else is plugged into there?"

Customer: "Well, my radio, my space heater, my cup warmer, my printer, my monitor, and my computer."

Tech Support: "Did you unplug anything to plug your curling iron in?"

Customer: "Yes, my space heater."

Tech Support: "Well, unplug the curling iron and plug the space heater back in."

Customer: "Hey! My computer is working now! Is there something wrong with the power strip?"

* Customer: "My palmtop won't turn on."

Tech Support: "Did the battery run out, maybe?"

Customer: "No, it doesn't use batteries. It's Windows powered."

* Tech Support: "What happens when you turn the computer on?"

Customer: "The screen just stays black."

Tech Support: "Is the computer plugged in?"

Customer: "I took it to a repair shop last week, and they apparently fixed it so it doesn't need a power cord anymore."

Tech Support: "Is the computer a laptop computer?"

Customer: "No, but they never gave me back the power cord so they must have fixed it so it didn't need it."

Tech Support: "Go back to the repair store and get your power cord back. They just forgot to give it to you."

* Customer: (kindly old grandmother type) "I can't install your software. I tried to follow the instructions, but it just isn't working. Can you please help me, young man?"

Tech Support: "Sure! Are you using the diskette or the cdrom version of our software?"

Customer: "The cdrom version."

Tech Support: "What Widows version are you using?"

Customer: "Windows 98."

Tech walked her through the basic steps of inserting the cdrom disk and getting to the 'Run' window.

Tech Support: "Now type 'd:setup' and then press the enter key."

Customer: "It just gives me an error message, saying it can't find it."

Tech tries several things, different drive letters. Made sure the colon was actually a colon and the backslash was really a backslash.

Tech Support: "Let's remove the CD from the drive, and then I would like you to inspect the shiny side for visible scratches or smudges. If we clean them, you might be able to get the computer to read the setup file."

Customer: "I've taken it out. Do I have to slide this little metal shutter out of the way to see which side is shiny?"

AAAAAAAAAAHHHH!!!!! (bang head, thump, thump, thump)

Tech Support: "No, let's just insert it back into the computer and try typing 'a:setup'."

* Customer: "I just got your version 5 CD, and I was tryin to install it over your version 4 CD, and I am having some problems."

Tech Support: "What kind of problems are you having?"

Customer: "It makes a funny sound and gives me a 'Cannot access drive D:' error."

Tech Support: "Did you put the new CD in silver side down?"

Customer: "Yes. I am doing as the tech who sent me the CD told me to. I am installing it over the other version."

Tech Support: "Let's see if there are any scratches on your CD."

Customer: "Which one?"

Tech Support: "The one that is in the CD drive that you are intalling."

Customer: "Sir, which one? I already told you I am installing over version 4."

Tech Support: (after a short pause)"Sir, you must remove the version 4 CD that you have in your drive."

Customer: "I was told to install over it!"

  • 2 weeks later...
number6

number6

Posted
Posted

Very funny stuff Nyar. I have had problems with my Cable ISP tech support before and it's amazing how little some of these "techs" know about computers and networking.

Inoculator9

Inoculator9

Posted
Posted

Tech Support: "Hello, how may I help you?"

Customer: "My phone isn't working."

Tech Support: "Hello, how may I help you?"

Customer: "You guys really screwed up when you made this computer TV du-kiky."

Tech Support: "How is that sir?"

Customer: "You forgot to include a mailbox."

Tech Support: "Excuse me?"

Customer: "You didn't attach a mailbox for email."

Tech Support: "I don't understand."

Customer: "Well I got a knife and cut a slit in the tv thingy."

Tech Support: "I better call my supervisor..."

Customer: "Then I wrote an E on an envelope, wrote a little how-do to my ma, and stuck it in the slit."

Tech Support: "I don't suppose it worked."

Customer: "Sure it did."

A day later tech support found a file on the customer who had called, it included info about several mental conditions. He was a compulsive liar and had an IQ so low he was legally classified a moron, he also had a Ph.D in computer programming from Harvard.

rogue1896

rogue1896

Posted
Posted

it's hilarious when someone who is not a legal moron does something stupid like that but when someone who has an actualy condition like that it's not so funny :-

rogue1896

rogue1896

Posted
Posted

i'm amused by the smallest things

EDIT - oh, lol. you were talking about your sig. i was talking about nyar's personal picture thing. the techie. i guess yours is good too ;)

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