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FED2K rpg


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A few moments later, Lord J and his Orcish buddies arrive at the Wal-Mart website.

"I think this is finally nearing a close," Lord J says stealthily, "we will either find him here, or someplace nearby."

"I concur." says an Orc.

Moving unnoticed in the store, creeping behind boxes and under tables, the trio finally makes it to the Men's Socks display.

Crouched, walking over, down the line, they finally arrive the Fruit of the Loom section.

"Ok, he should be here, any moment now."

A few minutes later, Sir Sard arrives at the counter in glistening, gold armor, a sword strapped to his back, and a look of content worshipfulness on his face.

After having a yellow smiley-face sticker attached to his breastplate, he walks on over to the sock display.

"Aaah...You beautiful, priceless creatures," he whispers to the socks, "Oh how I love thee, oh, how I will liberate thee from thy fates alloted."

After giving a strange look to one of his Orcish buddies, Lord J shrugs, "Ahh well, everyone's got thier vice." and rises from behind the counter.

Fearing betrayal, Sir Sard drops the sock he was speaking to, takes a few steps back.

"Greetings, honorable Sir Sard." says Lord J in a jovial voice. "I am here from none other than the mighty and fearless yeti, Gobalopper, of FED2K."

"Gobalopper?" says Sard, a look of confusion crossing his classic features, "What business has he here?"

"None other than your own!" says Lord J, "As a matter of fact, he wishes to speak with you, and has asked us to escort you back to the Keep."

"Oh. Ok."

A few days later, Lord J strides into the throne room with Sir Sard.

After a bow and a stiff salute, Lord J says, "Yet another quest completed in your name, my leige."

"Indeed, and my thanks are limitless."

"To serve, my liege, is priceless and above all other hopes." then, changing the conversation around to a more beneficial area, Lord J asks, "And do you have any more quests for me, my lord?"

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Dust Scout, growing bored with fireballs, has re-entered the FED2K Keep. And now wanders around the Dungeon examining old posts and giggling at them to himself. He knows Gob will call for him sooner or later.

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Sir Fish and andrewabc's quest for earthnuker leads them to the game of Betrayal at Krondor. When they arrive, they search for Earthnuker.

They decide to ask the people if they have seen anyone similar to this picture Earthnuker. They make thier way to a tavern where Sir Fish ask one of the patrons.

"Who is he?" the elf asks

"Hes a thief in the service of the great Gob" Sir Fish responds

"Thief? I ain't got no luck with thieves" the elf retorts, "Why I was in the land of FED2K just the other day and i got robbed by someone."

"You did? What did the thief look like" Asks Sir Fish

"That's the funny thing, I don't know, As soon as i realized his hand was in my pocket, he was already gone; It ain't easy to rob me, but that guy was good, coulda even been a woman i reckon"

"You may have helped us more than you know" Sir Fish responds and buys him another drink, "Thanks friend"

Sir Fish returns to and mounts andrewabc "We will return to FED2K" he says, "I have reason to believe that Earthnuker is still there"

They arrive at FED2K and Sir Fish leaves andrewabc, who goes off to feed, and walks into town. He watches a moderator hurry by and sees the moderator drop a post. Sir Fish tries to tell the moderator, but he doesn't hear.

Sir Fish looks down at the post and, to his suprise, it is from Earthnuker, and recent too. The post is from a thread called "Chani or Irulan"

He goes immediately to "Chani or Irulan", and the first thing he sees is earthnuker trying to steal Chani and Irulan. Sir Fish draws his sword and blocks the entrance. "Earthnuker!", He calls "I have been sent to find you by Gob himself"

Earthnuker stops and loosens his grip on Chani and Irulan, they run away.

"Look what you made me do!" he shouts, then "wait, you said Gob sent you?"

Sir Fish raises his sword, "Yes", he responds, "You can go with me voluntarily, or you can go with me regardless."

Earthnuker looked at his sword and replied, "I will return to Gob on my own"

"Gob wishes for me to escort you to him"

"Very well then, but let me first..."

"No!" Sir Fish interrupts him, "We will leave now"

"If you insist" Earthnuker says, as he eyes Sir Fish's wallet, which was barely visible in his left pocket"

"It's nearly empty" Sir Fish mentions as he indicates for Earthnuker to walk in front of him.

Earthnuker and Sir Fish make their way to the desert, and Sir Fish plants a thumper to summon andrewabc.

As they ride back to the great hall, some poor newbie happened to get in their path, and so become andrewabc's dessert.

Sir Fish escorts Earthnuker into the great hall, "Here he is, milord, my task is completed"

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Lord J bows to Gob and says, "Your wish is my command." rises, and leaves the room.

On his way out, he notices a door off to the side of the throneroom, peeking in, he is amazed to find Gob's harem.

A a stifling room with pink and purple drapes flying in an easy breeze is filled with dozens of female Yetis in all forms of clothing.

Blushing profusely, Lord J beckons for his men to follow him as he escapes the Keep and heads for the transport co-ordinates.

A few moments later, he arrives on the bridge of the naT'Han.

Turning to his navigator, he orders the co-ordinates of http://www.groups.msn.com/TheLandsraad/. "Warp nine!"

A few moments later, they arrive in a strange white territory.

"What is it, my Lord?" asks an Orc, "A space storm? Some sort of alien nova?"

"No!" says Lord J, shaking his head in disbelief, "It's a white hole!"

"A white hole, my Lord?!" asks a Klingon commander, "Does that mean what I think it does?!"

"Yes!" looking over at the Orc, "In cyber-space, there exist white holes, peices of the fabric of space stretched because of the destruction of servers or webspace."

"My Lord, that means only one thing!"

"Yes." says Lord J with finality, a tearful

sigh of regretful sadness, "The Landsraad server is...is...down."

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"*cough* I don't have any right now" Gob replies

meanwhile aboard naT'Han

Sir Sard was awoken by his hand puppet licking his ear. He quickly got dressed, and rushed to the brigde, he found Lord j and asked hi, why they were stranded "a white hole has consumed The landsraad" Lord J said whit a tone of dispair in his voice, "do not fear" sir Sard said "I know a place were we can resupply, it's called www.darklyrics.com there we must go to Rhapsody section"

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"Good thinking, man!" says Lord J, slapping Sard on the back and ordering the ship into motion.

A few moments they arrive.

"Ohh...nice colors..." says one Orc.

"Hrmmm...'Rhapsody' you say," says Lord J to Sard, "That would be under the letter...'R'"

A few moments later, the screen rolls up, and Lord J scrolls through the choices.

"Let's see...'Rage Against the Machine', no, 'Raventhrone', sounds interesting, but no, Ahhh, 'Rammstien', nice band! But not what we're looking for..."

"My Liege! I seem to have found it!"

"Ahh, 'Rhapsody', so it is! Click!"

"Hrrmm..." says Lord J to himself, looking over the titles, "Very nice titles, but I have question."

"Go on." says Sir Sard.

"When we have re-supplied, what then?"

"Good question." replies Sir Sard, thinking.

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Toraqi points out that they are now in the Land of Fed2K. Toraqi informs Quondam that he will not be able to fly him and the others exactly to the caslte keep of Gob but he will be able to land them not to far from where they need to be. Quondam tells Toraqi that is fine and that he is greatful for his help thus far. The great spectrum dragon Toraqi starts to land in a open grassy field in a plain before Gob's castle keep. Quondam and Juquin step down off the great dragon's back. Vult flies around looking for a place to perch himself and lands on a cluster of rocks four feet from where Quondam stands.

"Thank you again my great friend" Quondam tells Toraqi. Toraqi nods and spreads his great wings and takes flight into the skys.

"Come we still have traveling to do the reach Gob's castle" Quondam tells Juquin.

"How much farther are we now master Quondam?" asks Juquin looking around observing the surrondings.

Pointing toward the west end of the plain to a mountain Qoundam says "Over that mountain and we will find Gob's castle. It should not take us long" says Quondam to his apprentice.

Master Quondam why did Toraqi not just fly us all the way to Gob's castle would take hav not been easier?" Juquin inquires his master.

With a small laugh Qoundam replies "It is a long story I will tell you about it later let hurry we have no time to waste."

The three gather their belongings and head toward the west end of the plain to the mountain and on to Gob's castle.

A hand pasts over the crystal globe with the scene of Quondam and his apprentice heading toward Gob's castle.

"Quondam you are in the Land of Fed2k. Hmmmmmm while the cats away the mouse will play. I wonder if you have any cheese in your cupboards" a voice can be heard speaking in the direction of the crystal globe.

"Gressel!!!!" yells the voice, "come here your assitance is needed!!"

A humanoid-like lizard comes walking into the room with slithering like movements.

"Yes my master what is thy bidding" speaks the creature with a tingle of a hiss in it's voice.

"We have some plotting to do my cold-blooded, fiendish friend" says the voice with every hint of evil intentions in his voice.

A devilish grin forms on the creature's face and a gleam in his eyes dances like the flames of a fire.

"Whatever your wish my master" Gressel replies.

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Lord J nods and says, "'K."

A few moments later, they arrive at 3., The Power of the Dragonflame.

Scanning the parchment, Lord J nods and says, "I think we're supposed to chant these...uhh...words here."

Frowning and putting emphasis on what he hopes are the right syllables, he chants, "Energie di cosmi estinti gridano sangue

dalle terre dell'ignoto senza pieta'" and steps back, waiting.

Suddenly, a glowing stream of bright light peirces the wall across from the group, forging an entry-way with smoldering thresholds.

Thinking quickly, Lord J yanks a small bag of gold-pressed latium from his belt and throws it to the floor as an offering.

A voice comes from the darkness, a low growl, barely legible and clearly inhuman in source: "Who has disturbed my restfulness?"

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"we do" yelled Sir Sard "our quest for Gob the mighty has gone horribley wrong (filles the dragonlord in), and we need help" "I will help you since Gob is a good freind of mine, you must return to FED2K, a huge army under the command of the queen of the dark horizons is marching towards FED2K, and you must make it to warn Gob"

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Lord J's eyes bulge as the implications of the discussion hits.

"The Queen..." he says, under his breath. Then, raising his eyes, he looks the Dragon full on and says, "Fine. We will take your message back to Gob, lord of FED2K."

"Good." says the Dragon.

"In the meanwhile, is there anything we can do for you? The cargo hold on the naT'Han should be able to support you if you wish..."

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Lord J bows and shouts a quick order of clipped Klingon into his communicator.

A soon as the men arrive on the bridge of the naT'Han, Lord J turns to the navigator and says, "Warp 9! FED2K!"

Turnin back to Sir Sard, Lord J says, "I just hope we aren't too late."

About halfway to FED2K, the ship is hit by a sudden bolt of electrical current, and nocked out of hyper-space.

Looking over at his tactical officer, Lord J says, "Report!" just as another bolt hits the ship.

"My liege! It is an Ion Storm!" says the science officer, scrolling through the displays.

"An Ion Storm? This close to FED2K?" says the tactcal officer, incredulously.

"Aye, but that's not all!" says the science officer, looking at his readout display closely, "Sensors report 15, no 18 alien vessals!"

"I've got them," says tactical, "They're on an intercept course."

"Brace for impact!" yells Lord J, a second before the next hit, "Condition Red! All hands to battle-stations!"

The small fleet of alien ships make thier way closer to the naT'Han, allowing Lord J to examine the markings on the flagship.

"It's Microsoft!" he exclaims, "But wait...Something's not right..."

The science officer stutters with his reply, "No, my Lord, it is not PC-compatible!"

Suddenly, the realization hits home.

Sighing, alarms flashing in his mind as he slowly stands and says, "Oh, my Gob, it's an...an...I-Mac Attack!"

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Seeing the nearing end for his beloved freind Lord J and his brave crew, Sir Sard, in a fit of holy rage, runs to the escape pods, and lunches himself at the I'mac fleet, a few second before the inpact, the brave Sir sard, converts his body into a deadly virus, and in his holy rage, he destroys the I'mac ships, thus killing himself.

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The Lord and his Klingon friends stand on board the naT'Han in respectful silence for Sard's sacrifice.

Snapping back to attention, Lord J says, "Alright, groovey. Continue course."

"Aye sir."

A few hours later, moving from Warp 5 to 9, slowly, because of repairs, the naT'Han arrives at FED2K.

With a barked command, Lord J materializes in Gob's throneroom.

After explaining the delay, attack and Sir Sard's sacrifice, Lord J turns to Gob and says, "My liege, what are your orders?"

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Gob repleis by saying "so, the queen is comming here, I knew that I should never have broken up whit that stinking undead s*ut. Anyway, Lord J, I order you to go around the gobdom and rally the heroes to my banner. And then you must prepare the defences"

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