Women: Can't live with 'em.

[Kirby Gotenks absorbed]

It a TV series, and the lead character has that name too, and he works in the 'Nerd Herd'.

Oh, I just thought the name up.

The first stage of admittance is denial.

As if, I'm not in the "stage of admittance".

You know denying it only makes it worse ;)

But denying makes it that much better... ;)

[Vanguard3000]

The only thing is you need to be an OC geek to be in. Which isn't many geeks that I've ever seen and I like to surround myself with them. I just hope we can agree to be Omega men, because that just sounds cool.

The OC... like the TV show?  Not having cable sort of prevents me from being an OC geek.

Anyway Vanguard you handsome bastard you should know you don't have to mourn the loss of what you never had, besides the next party you can always try being a jerk if you want, I think there may be something in it.

I just might try to be a bit jerky.  You know, as part of a sociological experiment.  I find it unusually difficult to be jerky in person, though.

Keep your pecker up!

Um... OK I will.

Nah mate, I'm already in a relationship.  Besides, as feminine as your features are, you're not quite my type

Bullplop!  I'm everyone's type!

Only is you say "If you know what I mean" afterwards.

"Ladies" will also suffice.

Damnit, now I owe Shannon $10!  No, I said, he's not gay, he's just really into mens fashion!  Bah, last time I take that bet!

I sell suits for a living! I can't help but be "into" men's fashion!  I'd make no commission otherwise!

Well, the room does have poor ventilation, so I'd say, yes, wear clean underwear.

Aww, man!  Now I have to do laundry!

Kirby:  Face it - you're a huge geek.  There's nothing wrong with it, unless you deny it.  Embrace your destiny, young one.

Egeides:  Oh, now I get you.  He didn't seem like a jerk at first, because of the social masks he wore.  Jerkhood always tends to surface eventually, no matter how much you try to suppress it.

...ladies.

[Kirby Gotenks absorbed]

Vanguard... I'm denying I'm a geek and I won't embrace it.

[SpiceGuid]

I am not sure goodness really is a criterion for girls, let's face it: success is more trusted by girls than goodness. Of course success can be elusive and long-term speaking goodness is safer. Yet girls need this short-term excitement that shapes the illusion of a long-term relation.

[Tezcatlipoca]

There's no need to be a jerk, asshole or anything else you frequenly preceive. I don't know how the original lass got mixed up with the original fellow, but really you just need to do a combination of this: be yourself, be confident, and be assertive. Girls are humans, which means they share all those personality ranges themselves. Frequently, those "good" girls that are the most attractive are just as shy. Some I've known arn't really shy, but will be coy simply to make sure they can weed out those fellows without confidence. If you want a "primal" way of expressing it, you can relate confidence to strength.

If you're personality doesn't have any room for confidence or strength, you can A) fake it or B) make room.

[Kirby Gotenks absorbed]

You're so right... But the "A) fake it" isn't really the "right thing to do".

[Dunenewt]

Tell 'em what they want to here, that's the best way.

[Kirby Gotenks absorbed]

Sometimes the truth hurts, but a lot of the time it should be known.

[Hypatia]

Tell 'em what they want to here, that's the best way.

Huh-uh. I'd rather hear the truth, as long as it's said in a civil way.

When you hear only what you want to hear, you don't get enough information to know what's really going on. And then later, when you're operating on false assumptions and everybody else gets angry, you get angry, and a fight develops... well, it's just beyond nasty.

[Kirby Gotenks absorbed]

Huh-uh. I'd rather hear the truth, as long as it's said in a civil way.

When you hear only what you want to hear, you don't get enough information to know what's really going on. And then later, when you're operating on false assumptions and everybody else gets angry, you get angry, and a fight develops... well, it's just beyond nasty.

Yes, that's the right and the good thing to do.

[Vanguard3000]

Huh-uh. I'd rather hear the truth, as long as it's said in a civil way.

Is it true, though?  Everybody's so quick to say that, including me... sometimes, though, I'm not too sure.

[Dunenewt]

It all depends on how far the truth can be bent...

[Kirby Gotenks absorbed]

Is it true, though?

If it's the truth then it's the truth, if it's edited until it becomes twisted then it's not.

[Khan]

But how raw do people want the truth? The truth can have very negative effects, living a lie can be very inviting, not to mention less painful. The mind is very powerful and the ability to construct reality shouldn't be underestimated.

[Kirby Gotenks absorbed]

Put it in the nicest way possible, or lie if it is REALLY necessary, although it might be better to tell the truth still... Maybe.

[Hypatia]

When I say "truth" I mean things that go way beyond such petty concerns as whether or not the guy likes the outfit the girl is currently wearing (for example). I mean that I prefer guys who are honest enough to say what they mean, and mean what they say and let actions match both. I can't abide hypocrisy.

Mind you, I've also seen my parents go through umpteen significant others (each) and in my opinion NOT ONE has measured up to either of my parents. In my mom's case, her second husband told her on her birthday, about a month after their 24th anniversary, that he was divorcing her and intended to marry a woman 20 years younger, with whom he'd been having an affair that apparently his friends/family knew about, but nobody had bothered to tell my mother.  >:( In my dad's case, the worst was his last girlfriend, who tried her damndest to manipulate my grandmother into legal/financial decisions that would have made it soooo much easier for the girlfriend to take control of the family property after my grandmother's death.

Well, my ex-stepfather is and always was a worthless piece of crap. My dad's girlfriend failed in her attempts at a takeover, and she died a few years ago -- good riddance.

As for myself, I thought I'd found the perfect guy... completely compatible outlooks and interests in many areas, and I got along fine with his parents. But one night he swatted me and knocked my glasses off -- and that was the end. We're not a couple anymore, and never will be. It was just the one incident, but that sort of thing never gets a second chance with me.

So I guess I'm pretty cynical about all this...  :-

[Kirby Gotenks absorbed]

Why did he "swat" you?

[Hypatia]

Why should that matter? Some guys seem to flip out with no warning, over the strangest things. My point is, if a guy can commit such an act over essentially nothing, what else might he do? Better safe than sorry.

I'm not saying all guys are like this. And I don't hate the guy who did this.  I realize he's got anger management problems. But that doesn't mean I intend to risk my own safety.

For people here who have difficulty understanding how men and women can be "just friends" -- it's easy. Just be friends. Respect that there is a part of the other person's life that is off-limits and None Of Your Business (unless they choose to talk about it) and carry on like normal.

For what it's worth, one of the things I enjoy about the discussion boards I frequent is the chance to talk to guys and get their perspective on things. Many women can't seem to muster any interest in SF, books other than the current Oprah favorite, and new things besides the current fashions and hairstyles. And I find those things unbearably boring. I've been part of gaming forums for years, and many of the guys there insist, "You can't be a girl! Girls don't play computer games or RPG!"

Well, I am, and I do. I'm into SF, history, politics, science, and I play a mean game of Civilization. In past decades, I'd be described as a "spinster" -- but unlike those times, nowadays I'm free to not care about that, or be embarrassed. My mom is another story; she'd prefer I was married with children and grandchildren by now. But that's her problem.

Besides, in a different reality it all worked out anyway.  8)

[D2k Sardaukar]

I think for a long term relationship you should not build your relation on only appearance, because those feelings (and looks) will for the most part go away one day.

My 2 cent.

[Khan]

But it's impossible for the beginnings to be completely about personality, you have to be attracted to the person to want to go out with them. The only other way is blind dates or dating friends, but even then there still needs to be a physical attraction, sex is an important part of a relationship after all even if people do try and deny it. It's not the most important part but it does matter.

[Dunenewt]

Khan's right, you need some kind of physical attraction to them to initiate a relationship.

[Kirby Gotenks absorbed]

Khan's right, you need some kind of physical attraction to them to initiate a relationship.

Definitely not all the time.

But it's impossible for the beginnings to be completely about personality, you have to be attracted to the person to want to go out with them. The only other way is blind dates or dating friends, but even then there still needs to be a physical attraction, sex is an important part of a relationship after all even if people do try and deny it. It's not the most important part but it does matter.

I think that sex is also a bad part of a relationship, I haven't ever been in a relationship, but I still think that it can be (and usually is, IMO) a bad part of a relationship.

Btw, I agree with you Hypatia (on basically everything you said).

[Dunenewt]

Definitely not all the time.

I think that sex is also a bad part of a relationship, I haven't ever been in a relationship, but I still think that it can be (and usually is, IMO) a bad part of a relationship.

Btw, I agree with you Hypatia (on basically everything you said).

I hope you re-read this post on your 18th birthday.

[Khan]

Definitely not all the time.

I think that sex is also a bad part of a relationship, I haven't ever been in a relationship, but I still think that it can be (and usually is, IMO) a bad part of a relationship.

Btw, I agree with you Hypatia (on basically everything you said).

Based on what in particular?

[D2k Sardaukar]

Khan's right, you need some kind of physical attraction to them to initiate a relationship.

True.

To put my words in a little different way, I rather have a good looking girl that I feel attracted to and that is at the same level as me (in looks, understanding, jokes etc.) than a hot babe being a biatch.