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Worst Game you ever played...


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Haha, Terminator 3: War of the Machines is the sh_t! No, really, damn that game sucked. I mean, sure they had their "ragdoll" stuff in it, but even that didn't work! The bots are idiots running in exactly one direction: that of the wall. Really sucky game, I mean, don't even look at it if you ever go into the store.

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Well, since I don't have very much to do I'll explain about this unfortunate game I bought (Terminator 3: War of the Machines).

So, in essence, imagine any multiplayer game. There is no single player campaign. The game is set in the world of Terminator 3, around the events of the machine takeover. There are three settings to the maps:

1. "Some hours before the nukes detonate"

2. "During the nuking"

3. ...and "after the nukes hit"/"The Judgement War"

The environments take their inspiration from the movie, Terminator 3: Rise of the Machines. The levels are created in an average mapper's-way, although without much details (where are all the skulls that we saw in the movies???). There are about 20 maps to play on, and no map editor. Some have "ambient war" in them, that is, beams of lasers that flashes by, which makes them more "alive", as well as machine-planes that circle (and for the most part don't do a thing).

So, you get to choose what team you want to play on: the humans, or the machines. The humans are consisted of, uh, well humans... and also "captured T-800"'s (the thing Arnold played as in the movies). On the machine side, you get to play as an infiltrator, usual terminator robots and smaller flying machines. Humans run, machines don't.

The infiltrator acts just like any terminator, only it looks different - and contrary to the movies it does not infiltrate anything. The human bots you play with will identify it rather soon, and if you happen to play with your friends (who must be, like, people who really believe "The Terminator" will happen and that Edvard Furlong is really John and that his drug habbits are a conspiracy by the machines) they'll know by the small, red bar that identifies the enemy. And even if you could infiltrate, what would you do? Kill humans at the spawning point? Because there is nothing else to do (no flag to capture, etc). You can't even drive the "human veichles" as an infiltrator, let alone any other machine you're playing as.

The other machines don't have any "skin". They're metal, and they come in two colours: red and blue. There is no difference between them - only what kind of weapons you can have. You can also play as the "flying thing"-terminator, but, uh... don't try it.

It is always cool that the people who created this game remembered that the terminator don't "see" as we humans do, they have their infra-red-mega-dead interface with basically every colour being messed up. It's fun to go around like that for a couple of minutes, but in the end you'll most likely de-select this option, unless you're one of those mega-fans who have queued for 78 years to be the first ones to see Terminator 4, or if you want to exterminate your eyes.

The humans are, uh, humans. Just like the Battlefield-series, they look differently and have different weapons. And that's about it. Oh, yes, you could play as a captured T-800 too.... see the machine explanation.

Believe it or not, there are veichles in this game. But the developers were so smart and intelligent that they had this great plan they developed for 896 years - to give each team their veichles. So, as humans you can drive around in your car and armoured veichle, while as a terminator you could drive those big things the terminators had in the movies. Sure, it may give some authencity (I mean, the US pilots couldn't read the Cantonese hieroglyphs in the captured Vietnam-planes in the Korea-war, right???) and balance each side a little, but after playing for some time, shooting the same thing, you'd wish you could use their veichles - realistic or not (duh, what is realistic with the game anyways?). You could actually get that privelege if you infiltrated the enemy lines in the BF-series, so why not?

Oh yes - they did implement the Havok-engine. I guess the engine was specifically made for this game, so they didn't bother to change much. Really, they could've used to old animated-sequence thingy instead of the Havoc-engine. The only thing you'll witness with Havoc in T3:WotM is the players that die. And when they do, it seems like they have a nail stuck at their feet, while their bodies are completely frozen when falling to the ground. Don't even mention the animation on their faces - there is none.

So, what about weapons? We've seen those already. Machineguns, lasers, hand-grenades, pistols you have it. Nothing special.

The sound? Uhh... well, let's begin with the silence. The levels themselves are silent, except the things that movie - i.e. either the flying-terminator-whatever-thing-that-doesn't-do-a-thing thing, or nothing. In essence, this hightens the feeling of nuclear war. Everything is silent and dead. It is almost scary. There is no music.

Then, of course, if you still don't find anybody to play with online, or if your friends are hunted around the city by Robert Patrick and can't be reached, you'll turn to the faithful bot-system. Once they're in, you'll most likely turn out the sound. You'll be hearing a lot of "enemy sighted", "attack the T-800/T674/flying machines/the toilet/whatever" and so on - basically, your "team-mates" will shout in your "headset" to attack every single unit on the level. What they won't say is "cover me", or "wait until my command" etc.

So, what about the bots? They seem sentient enough to know the enemy is on the map, and that the team should attack the enemies. What they don't know, on the other hand, is where the enemy is and how to get there. Most likely, they'll end up running into a wall - and not just one or two, but the whole bunch of them. So they'll shout in your speakers to attack this and that, while they themselves don't do anything at all. It's like the developers, or at least the people who made the waypoints, placed one at the spawning point and another one at the enemy's spawning point. They don't seem to have known corners and hills have been invented.

I therefore doom Terminator 3: War of the Machines as: D-

+Some doomsday feeling

-Unplayable team-mates (unless you find human partners)

-We've already used these weapons

-Where's the flag/ball/objective/target?

-More ambient! This is war dammit!

-"Attack the developers!"

Final line: Some may now ponder for 2895 years why in whoever's name I gave the game a "D-". First, you really don't want a D- on any test you might be given (nor in/on anything else you might do). Secondly, not every detail was bad with the game. If you're looking for a tourist-attraction as to how the world looks after a nuclear attack, or if you're out on inspiration-quest for your own mod and need war/nuclear-war scenarios, some levels might deserve a look. So yes, the game didn't fail in exactly everything (in which case I would have given it a "F") - but is it worth buying? No. Not for more that 0.50 dollars. Else you've been tricked.

Should the game have been made? Sure, I see no problem with a multiplayer game where you can play as one and the other side in the Terminator-universe. My critisism isn't pointed at "The Terminator" as a whole, just like you wouldn't point the finger towards all of Star Wars just because one game failed. It is on the other hand pointed at the developers, who could have done a lot more. I'm not out for the graphics any longer, in fact, that time passed after Quake 3 Arena. I'm looking for fun, for action, for a game which can be played with other people, and a game which people can talk about, and in the end remember as fun and play again. But if they spit out these games in this way, then what is the point of even looking for any new game now when we live in the era of modding (just look at Counter-Strike and Day of Defeat for Half-Life).

So for the action-minded who wants the latest sh_t, play Unreal Tournament 2003/2004. I have a good time now when I finally can play it as a normal man with my new computer. Or check out Half-Life 2 and it's mods, you'll gain a lot more than this game.

(Heh, kind of a long final line...)

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  • 3 weeks later...
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most boring game I've ever played:

TOCA Touring Car Championship on Playstation One

I thought this was going to be a really good game but every "level" looked like the same boring airport race track.

most overhyped game I've ever played:

Half-Life 2 on PC

everybody talked about it, everyone wanted it, every pc-games magazine gave it way too much points. the game was so much overhyped, the gfx wasn't as good as e.g. farcry, whcih was released almost one year earlier. also a lot of details were without any love (every zombie with the same white shirt and blue jeans, no hands on the steering-wheel when you were driving that jeep or speedboat and so on...).

most evil game I've ever seen:

World of Warcraft on PC

never seen so many people giving up any kind of social life due to wow and becoming isolated gamers playing a crappy game with mega-kiddie gfx you can only bear on lsd or other kinds of psychedelic drugs because it's so damn varicoloured, blinking and flashing....

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  • 3 weeks later...

most evil game I've ever seen:

World of Warcraft on PC

never seen so many people giving up any kind of social life due to wow and becoming isolated gamers playing a crappy game with mega-kiddie gfx you can only bear on lsd or other kinds of psychedelic drugs because it's so damn varicoloured, blinking and flashing....

I couldn't have agreed further. But on HL2, the graphics ARE very good. The singleplayer mode is rather good though. But perhaps it is overhyped, just not sucky.

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