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pretty good acriku...heres one of mine.


As I sit on the boundry between life and death,

as I solemnly await that time we all know,

I wonder,

What is time?

Is it fast?

Is it slow?

Does time fly?

Or does it flow?

Time and time again we ask about time.

(Yes Ive finally found a way to make this poem rhyme.)

As I walk away from the edge of eternity,

away from a broken mortal coil,

I think to myself,

"The time has passed."

And a question has been answered.

What is time?

What do you think?

Is time on the line?

Or is it on the brink?

The choice is yours for you to make,

I know you will,

Don't be a fake.

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hehe... just thinking about how girls are the ultimate paradox to many guys, not all of them but to many. and same goes with girls. I guess it figures. I just wrote this for the heck of it.

A woman will sneakily tempt

a man she wishes to have

and they say men are in control?

they claim the power that drives us mad

its the on going fad

They are as dangerous and fearsom as hunters

and use their weapons like masters

they hold down our will to fight

they scatter us into helpless disaster

women are our slave masters

and as brash and confusing as they may be

I know I would die without their company

the equality of power we hold as man and woman

gives us the stregth to live life in serenity

without women, life is a profanity.

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You can't look back, your life is a joke

You won't fall back, because you won't like go

Every thing you have left, to reason with me

Or pretending as if I had never wanted to see

You won't say hello, as if you knew me not

Because you won't know, because you're so loud

Because you're so loud, as if you can't growl

No matter how you sound, you know it won't come out

You think the world will move all around you

Sleeping all round as if we don't know you

You're so primitive, you believe in those rubbish

Kicking every thrash your way, like I don't fancy

And I know I'll stop, because you'll go on

Go on till I tire, tire till I'm worn

As a matter of a fact, you'll never ever stop

Even if time stops, you'll break through the force


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dude, lol I didnt mean anything by it. and you guys are supposed to get on me wtih my poetry problems. that is what this is all about. you cant take it seriously. silly guys.hehe

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All i'd say is that you should be careful of your meter because a lot of your lines have very irregular syllable numbers and don't rhyme all that well when read aloud. Oh and I hate you... just kidding... ;)

Another of mine anyway:

Road to the Heavens

Red skies,

filled with softly burning echoes,

foretell of many fires to come.

All is in change.

The green trees and Godly plants.

They crumple and die.

Ill tales are a-many.

But I never stop to listen.

With these tales, my spirit is weakened.

Never can I,

never will,

Escape from my cause.

Blackness now;

the fires are gone.

In their place, the cold of death.

On this day,

at least it seems to me,

the world will end.

Wond'rous it is

to be proven so wrong

by the wonders of the sky.

Ragnarok, it seems

will be the one to die.

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This one i am thinking of while writing so sue me.

The Korean War.

Nestled between two greater wars

the middle child long forgotten

lies a small piece in time that should not be.

Millions fighting for a hill.

Falling back against the sea.

Weapons running low of all

Men running low of all.

Ships slip in

falling back to mother asia.

driven back

Mountains move in humans waves.

There charge to near.


the cry goes out muffled by hell inferno

And still no one seems to remember

The defenders of the hills

the thrower of the stones

Korea nestled in between two wars.

The middle child long forgotten

hers another i think of while writing this one is for TMA and its Called


Old Beauty still striving

to match the speed and power thats been striding

striding by the new models.

she may not be the fastest processing.

but she never runs a fowl.

5 years old and still surviving

determined not to die.

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hey, I love you too apollyon. ;) and yes your quite right, reading them aloud it seems to have a few problems with meter. I think though that the irregular rythming is okay though, could be wrong.hehe

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Hey guys, this is kinda a prose about some really personal stuff. I just felt like I had to let it out, havent talked about it much to anybody. Just please dont be mean about it, it is not something I am particularly proud of. It makes me feel better to let it out though. :)

Sins are in the mind, not in the soul, said I. Sins feed the monster, I feed my monster opium. Never in this world

has there ever been something so beautiful, as a perspective on milk from the poppy. The mind gives birth to happiness, and that warmth spreads. Spreads all the way to my chest, stomach, and my appendages. My mind's eye sees the love of

the world, and of fellow man. While I see my reflection in a new light. I see myself in a new egotistical light. I am God! I have

something you dont have.

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  • 4 weeks later...

Haven't posted any in ages, so here's one:


Turning slowly in deserted space,

The cogs of time work at the world.

The world of men and the world of God,

The world of no God too, for they are same.

Below the whirring machine of life,

Some might blame for their wayward strife,

There lies the home, the source, the world.

The world of men, they shape with belief,

Belief with regret, regret with belief.

Beckoning to them, emotions transform.

World-touched or world-scarred,

Either the same but different words,

To describe the tumbling opression,

Uplifting draft, or pushing breeze,

That reflects what we make of life.

This life so long, so brief, a song,

Whatever we say it is, it is.

For the belief of a man,

Shall change existence,

Or else be changed itself,

By the burden of regret.

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  • 1 month later...

Behold the monthly(ish) update of the poems thread!


Crackling confrontations,

Burning in the fire.

And crumbling ashes in the place,

Where once lay your desire.

Sanguine sadness,

Drenched on your face,

Dripping and drowning and mixed with the tears,

Quickening in ever swift pace, awash with your fears.

Tearing terror,

Seated in the soul.

Clawing and ripping, mind ever tripping,

Burning a gash with terrible coal.

Hapless hope,

Etched upon visage,

A seed of pow'r, torn with the breeze,

Storm-tossed by the wind so eager to sieze,

The soul and your heart, worn on the sleeve,

Awaiting the time that Hope is to leave,

And all left is a husk of your being.

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  • 4 weeks later...

It's that time again folks!


The sum of me, no simple thing,

Complex patterns now that frame the mind,

With strong emotions, my being entwined.

But one day,

Harkened along this twisted way,

A small light in heavenly course,

It followed the path unto its source.

That source my soul,

Still black as coal.

Dark from angst and fear,

Too dark to even shed a tear.

The light shone on blackest heart,

It shined, a pillar of light in dark,

Gone were the shadows upon my soul,

Gone that evil that preyed on my core,

Because you were there.

You are the light, my love,

Chasing the shadows away,

And henceforth from fateful day,

The sun shines on me from above,

But then it always did.

But in my core,

Below the skin,

Beneath my layers of mortal sin,

You illuminate my darkest heart,

My love, forever more.

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  • 4 weeks later...

Scarlet Shores

Scarlet Shores,

Adrift upon the crimson tides,

The water laps at my feet,

A great sleeping beast.

The stars above shine and call,

Call to me below their downward spire.

That lights up my heart and my soul,

And illuminates my being just like the sky.

The moon is blackened.

Not by shadow cast,

Nor heavenly eclipse,

But it has changed its core,

And it calls to me,

Upon this Scarlet Shore.

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ok I've made another one, here it is

What will I choose?

I stand at a crossroad

Which path will I choose?

Will I choose water over wine?

Will I choose hardship over luxury?

Will I choose death over defeat?

Will I choose fanaticism over tolerance?

Will I choose the honourable way over the easy?

Will I choose loneliness over companionship?

Will I choose change over stagnation?

Will I choose hatred over love?

Will I choose strength over weakness?

Ok this is the compelte and final version of it

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Well it's good in that the words you've chosen for the poem fit together quite well, just watch your syntax for words that require an article. For instance 'honourable way' and 'struggle' require at least a qualitative 'the' or 'a/an'.

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Ok I've made a new one, it is inspired by Apollyon's Paradise Shatterd, and there for I first of all whish to thank him for makeing his epic...

anyway here come my poem

Questing for power divine

This quest began long ago

In the dawn of time

As a search for something dark

A quest fuelled by a twisted desire

A quest for power

A quest for knowledge

A quest for something dark

A quest for that which I must not attain

I look at my companions

Fiends and heroes

Made brave by hate

Hate to a god and his creation

“Hail my friends”

I say to them

“Long have we quested

For that which is to us forbidden”

“But soon we shall find it

It is near I sense it, as do we all

For it is what we most desire

And soon we shall defy them all, and claim our prize”

And forward I lead them

To raid places of knowledge

To gain the power we desire

The dark power to us forbidden

With each tower we raid

With each tome we read

Our power grows

And that which we must not reach comes closer

The power we seek is the power of gods

The dark power to undo creation

And redo it as we desire

The power divine is what we quest for.

if you have any comments please post them here, and I would dearly love any sugesstions on how to improve it.

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here we go again...

Into the Fire

I jumped

Into the Fire

I fall, burning, blazing

I care not

I feel the fire

Consuming my body

I want to scream in pain

But I do not

Why I fell I do know

I can change my course

It leads only death

But I do not want to

For I have chosen my path

And to it I’ll stick

Till the fiery end

Till my Soul has burned away

I take it you know what to do...

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You know already that I like it. All I'd say is try to concentrate a little on the sound patterning. Some of those lines don't quite metrically fit, it's difficult to place exactly and hard to write in itself, but practice makes perfect. Here's one of mine to provide a little more variety. ;)

 Honour and Valour

And in those times of ancient lore,

When man and god walked side at side,

And when no great prophet as yet foresaw,

The time as now and those to it tied,

Did treachery prevail amongst the Norse?

Did ways run sour with Zeus on high?

Did Orpheus track hell unto its source?

And did Volo, with her sight sad, sigh?

It seems to me false in its entirety,

To judge this as possibility,

For that is fiction, plain and true,

And this reality, through and through.

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