TMA_1 Posted January 13, 2003 Share Posted January 13, 2003 "Not fair! I tagged you first!"Sam ran after Jake and tackled him to the ground. "alright man you win. damn, that hurt."They both laughed and walked over to the store by broadway park. With their money combined (two dollars and fiftyseven cents) They bought a couple of candy bars and a pop to share. The lady at the counter said one of her typical jokes that really werent funny at all, but the boys liked them just the same. While walking to the park, the boys were able to actually concentrate on serious issues such as who was the most attractive girl in their school, or what teacher was the most annoying. Finally Sam, unknowingly, said something he shouldnt have."Hey, I was reading about Jesus and how he is going to come and kill all the badguys. Its all bloody and well it just sounds freakin awesome. you ever read the bible?"Jake gave Sam a troubled look, a look that was almost adult and strict."You know that stuff is illegal man... besides my parents say that christians are stupid and dont know how to be like everybody else.""We arent dumb man, as a matter of fact I am getting straight A's in class, and I am captain of the math club. Also, who is the one that Allison likes? ME! You see I know how to be cool and act like everybody else." Sam said with a proud smile that beamed with dignity."heh, hell your right Sam. Dont know what the whole fuss is about. lets hurry though because it will get dark soon."The kids climbed trees, went through the play equipment like daring adventurer-heros, and swung on the swings. All while the cars went along with their quiet hums. Finally it was close to sunset and they both decided it was best to go home. Sam's house was first. He ran up to the rickety old porch and turned around to wave. His mom waved through the window, probably washing dishes.Jake finally got to his own house. when he got inside he went up to his room and kicked off his shoes and threw his coat on the bed. He had a lot of video game playing to do and it was friday, that meant all night to stay up and finally beat the next level on dragon quest 10. Jake ran downstairs and his mom was there in the kitchen making dinner. She got home only an hour before he did, but she always acted like the typical mom to him. even though she worked just as much as his dad did."Hey mom!" Jake smiled widely, giving her a hug."hey kiddo! tell me how your day went.""Well...hmmm gotta remember all of it. I played at Sam's house most of it. We got some candy and then played at the park. It was awesome. Sam is one of my best friends now. We also talked a lot about cool stuff.""Like what? girls!?""Geesh mom!" sam said with flushed cheeks."No, well yeah a little. (he laughed) but we also talked about awesome stuff like jesus and how Sam is really like every other kid.""...What do you mean honey? is he a christian?""Well yeah mom... whats the big deal? I know its illegal and all but he is my best friend and he is so cool.""Honey, you go up to your room. I need to talk with your father."Jake would never see Sam or his family again. They were taken away. Jake's mom never said where they would go, but only that they went where they deserved to go. All Jake knew was that he lost a best friend. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
The_Sadukar Posted January 13, 2003 Share Posted January 13, 2003 may I ask you, why did you post this, it seems to be of no use to anyone as it is. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Lord J Posted January 13, 2003 Share Posted January 13, 2003 I don't know, I found it somewhat interesting, and a little refreshing from all these war-time fics. However, like most short stories, it is lacking in details... TMA, is religion of *any* type illicit in this universe, or simply Christianity? Or is it violence which is illicit, like Niven's Man-Kzin Wars? Also, is this because the township of the character's home is in a conquered region of a country which outlaws Christianity? I noticed a reference to "badguys". Is that referring to spiritual or physical warfare? It is a nicely done story, underdeveloped, but very nice. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
TMA_1 Posted January 13, 2003 Author Share Posted January 13, 2003 oh yeah I know. It is very short, but kinda based on a bradbury type short story. the badguys are christians. The government in charge does not allow any religion that seperates other people. So you have people having underground sessions. You might see more stories posted about the underground churches trying to survive. I never said I was a great writer, just thought this story was interesting. to sir sard, fan fic is for any story. It doesnt have to be about battle or Dune. It isnt of use to anybody but my own. I just thought I would share it with people I like, like Lord johnsonius. You are one awesome guy in my book man. You treated me like a friend with this and I wont forget it. :) Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Edric O Posted January 13, 2003 Share Posted January 13, 2003 Replace "Christian" with "Jewish" and you've got Nazi Germany. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
TMA_1 Posted January 13, 2003 Author Share Posted January 13, 2003 exactly. :) Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
VigilVirus Posted January 13, 2003 Share Posted January 13, 2003 Hehe, very impressive story :). You're a great writer, man 8) Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ordos45 Posted January 14, 2003 Share Posted January 14, 2003 Short but poignant. I personally thought it was really good. It had substance despite its length, and it tackled some major issues, as well as showing childhood friendships and family interactions. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
thomas Posted January 14, 2003 Share Posted January 14, 2003 I like it very interesting Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
The_Sadukar Posted January 14, 2003 Share Posted January 14, 2003 TMA, sometime ago you postet another story like this and after a few days it was comepletely forgotten, but now somebody acturly postes one this one and keeps it alive. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
TMA_1 Posted January 14, 2003 Author Share Posted January 14, 2003 hehe nice insult. I am glad you read my earlier one too. I dont care if they are forgotten. Like I said before, I post stuff here because I trust the cool people I like will read it and give me constructive criticism or give compliments. Its a community and if you are a jerk then it destroyes the purpose doesnt it? Also work on the nick name sir sard.lol Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
thomas Posted January 14, 2003 Share Posted January 14, 2003 HES A SARDINE!!! ;D ;D ;D LOL and if you dont have anything positive to say Sir Sardine Them Dont say it. >:( >:( Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
The_Sadukar Posted January 14, 2003 Share Posted January 14, 2003 Truth to be told I didn't post it to insult you, but only inform you what wouod ahppen to this one as well if I hadn't asked you why you postet it. Now this one is on the top of the front page awhile longer, and somemore will read it. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
TMA_1 Posted January 14, 2003 Author Share Posted January 14, 2003 ...er okay... thank you very much sard. ;) Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
The_Sadukar Posted January 14, 2003 Share Posted January 14, 2003 *gets a feeling that I've done something right* No Problemo Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
TMA_1 Posted January 14, 2003 Author Share Posted January 14, 2003 hehe, well people will probably stop posting now. oh well.lol :) Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
The_Sadukar Posted January 15, 2003 Share Posted January 15, 2003 Hey somebody look at this one!!!!!!!!!!! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Andrew Posted January 15, 2003 Share Posted January 15, 2003 the strong will survive and the weak perish, kinda like in nature.dont want a flame war :) Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Anathema Posted January 15, 2003 Share Posted January 15, 2003 Sorta like in the Soviet union, where religion was practiced underground. Well written. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
thomas Posted January 16, 2003 Share Posted January 16, 2003 um tma please write more or else this will be come a useless thread in time :P Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
The_Sadukar Posted January 21, 2003 Share Posted January 21, 2003 What did I post Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Vanguard3000 Posted January 30, 2003 Share Posted January 30, 2003 Very nice work. You mentioned you based it on Bradbury, and the first thing that came to mind when the kid said Christianity was illegal was Fahrenheit 451 - an amazing book. Again, very well done. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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