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Alexander_Ordos

First Chapter of my Dune novel: House Ordos

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Good

u should do sum more like House Ecaz, Moritani, Richese + Vernius

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End of the third chapter - hope it's good. Be free to say any critics... I must know if there'r any mistakes

When Alexander noticed that the prisoners were about to give up, he screamed aloud – even louder than the laser shots:

-      We’ll be back you ixian fools, everyone escape through that hole in the wall!

Hearing this, ixian guards begun to move forward, trying to block the passage, but too late – the prisoners were already jumping desperately into the hole… Only Alexander and Vengil still remained in the room. When Vernius soldiers were close enough to take them, Vengil suddenly raged!

-      Get out boy, run! Run!

-      No way I’ve promised to save everyone, -said Alex, - You’re not an exception!

A laser shot hit Vengil In his chest, blood poured out of the large wound…

-      Don’t worry young fellow, - whispered Vengil heavy breathing – They’ll go with me!

Unwillingly, Alexander ran into the whole and jumped down. He fell on the cold snow. First thing Alex noticed, was a big shield wall and people trying to break it. On the other side of the wall he saw Vernius troops surrounding the area. And then the shields were deactivated. A dozen of ixian troops passed the wall. The shields were raised again… Flash after flash, the laser shots hit unarmed natives, killing everyone in a different, terrible way – One was torn apart, another left headless, third splashed into peaces. Alexander and two other boys hid themselves behind some iron crates. One had blond hair and lightly blue eyes the other was typical Draconis IV native with black hair and brawn eyes, but he was wounded and died quickly… The blond-haired boy turned to Alex and said in afraid voice:

-      Better die from a laser shot than turn into Suboid, -then, hey you are the one who started this whole thing – got any ideas?

But the young Orda had no ideas; he felt pain for every man killed… He was about to cry but then two soldiers approached from both sides, smiling. They began to chatter about something while keeping their guns aimed at the boys…

-      Get them, - screamed Alexander’s mate – Death to House Vernius!!!

The boy drew a small dagger out of his pocket and jumped to soldier’s throat. He slowly penetrated the shield and cut him down… Presently Alexander arose to his feet and hit the other enemy in the face with all the strength he had left – the soldier fell to the ground and Alex jumped on him. The other boy threw his dagger to Alex and he stabbed his prey directly in the face…

-      Take their guns and shield belts, - said Orda, - Now I have a good idea…

The boys, armed with laser rifles and shields, appeared from behind the crates. By that moment, Vernius army has ended their frenzy – merciless they killed all 40 prisoners. All of them turned to kill the boys…

     Don’t even try to do this; - announced Alexander, - In one shot we’ll blow the whole darn city!

The boys held their guns aimed at the shield wall…

-      Drop your shields and weapons fools! – Raged Orda’s mate.

The troops had no other choice so they did as they were commanded…

-      For the tribes!!! , - Screamed Alexander.

Then the two boys released a salvo of laser beams killing all 15 soldiers. Then they slowly penetrated the shield and ran as quickly as they could…

-      We must leave this town as quick as possible, - said Alex heavy breathing, - besides what’s your name friend?

-      I’m Jacob Douds, of the Deadrion tribe…

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AWAITING COMMENTS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

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That's me that's me!!! Yay!

But coming along good. I'd say it is definitaly a project continuing with. Unlike some i've seen. Good work.

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Maybe it would be AT LAST translated to Slovak. Every Dune what I've read was in Czech!

Send me preview  ;)

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First part of the 4th chapter... ::)

No matter how you plot or scheme against it, the truth cannot be hidden – sooner or later it will be revealed, and when revealed it will strike you at most unexpected moment...

           Truthsayer’s manual  

It was late evening; the dark blue sky began to shift its colors into some reddish-purple dark color. The supreme governor was seating nervously in the hall, located in closely highest level of the research center. He looked at the holo clock – it was time and the commander was getting late with his report on the young “terrorist”, who was commanded to be turned into Suboid, and be sent to local Dyonide mines, where only true ixians were permitted. The idea that someone may have learned about the facilities… yes! Those terrible facilities than had to be hidden at all cost from the eyes of the imperials, not to mention the locals. Those horrible facilities! The Earl himself put him onto the governorship of this forsaken, remote and cold planet like a trusted man only because he was to ensure safety and secrecy for those underground labs…

The Governor slowly put his hands on the head. He, unsurely, turned his gaze to the new massage cylinder. His hands began to shake when he tried to open it… Lastly he withdrew a piece of Zanovar paper from it. The letter was written in a ancient ixian encrypted language. The Governor slowly began to read the text. It said following:

           It’s hard to say this, but it looks like the time has come to set our or most likely your project in motion… We require those machines Traex, bad times have come for House Vernius. We’re very close to the war with the Emperor himself! But can you imagine this old friend? – I’m getting reports that our Suboids yes our brilliant Suboids! Are plotting against us… I don’t understand how could such a treachery happen but we’re in very bad situation Traex. Remember House Vernius depends on you now…

Your old friend Earl Dominic Vernius

Traex angrily threw the secret message from his table. A sound of broken glass followed as the cylinder fell on the floor. The Governor was pale. With no support from Ix, the locals can easily overrun their highly sensitive though pitiful defense system and with only half a dozen troops and town fulfilled with crazy scientists that always wait for a moment of revenge and liberty, it is just a matter of time before they’ll be wiped out from this planet. Traex opened his desk and tossed a small projectile pistol out. He aimed it at his forehead when Synx entered the room…    

As usual - AWAITING COMMENTS!!!!      

 

                                   

     

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" , ' , when pasting from a wordprocessor with smart quotes makes the funny # things.

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2nd part of the 4th chapter-enjoy! ;)

Synx was surprised indeed, when he saw his supreme Governor with a pistol aimed at his forehead, preparing for suicide. Synx didn’t dare to ask what was wrong so he simply bowed and announced:

-      Lieutenant Synx reporting my lord Traex… I bring some bad news.  

Traex lowered his pistol and put it on the desk. He raised his big eyebrows and revealed his large tired gray eyes. Slowly he stood up and approached Synx and began to laugh. It was a crazy, mindless laugh and it continued for ten sec. until Traex changed his expression into a very angry gaze. By that moment Synx followed his Governor nervously with his eyes.

-      Where the hell is my General, - then disgustingly, lieutenant? Who had asked you to come here?!

-      But that’s the thing I wanted to tell you, -he lowered his eyes for a moment, Gen. Girdel is dead… And not just that, our clinic is set on fire, the captives that were to be turned into Suboids escaped, -Traex continued to stare at him, Our squad of 35 men tried to stop them but then came up these two boys, - hatred arose in Synx’s eyes, That terrorist who blew up our commcenter and another boy with him. They killed the whole squad! – Raged Synx.

When supreme Governor heard that, he fell on his knees and began to cry. Tears poured out of his eyes. To Synx, the Governor looked ridiculous. Traex began knock on the floor with his fist. His overlarge golden chain with a Vernius crest began to jingle. Synx couldn’t look at him anymore, so he gathered all his courage and grabbed the supreme Governor on his neck, raised him to his feet and hit him in the face.

-      If you don’t stop this foolishness immediately I will have to overtake the Governorship! – Raged Synx

-      But… but… we…aaare doomed, we are doomed, - Whispered Traex

Synx released the Governor, because he could lastly stand on his feet. Then Traex told him about the letter…  

Comment...

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Just because people aren't commenting, it's not a bad thing...

Although please modify your posts to get rid of the ’ things, and replace them with  ' or "

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Great story Alexander now please keep it coming.

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I would gladly do so if'd known how to...

I'm very glad you people care for the story update will come soon so stay tuned  :D

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Sorry fo delays I was quite busy... Be free for any critics...

By this time, Synx would’ve given everything in order to escape this forsaken planet. But he couldn’t – the next High liner will arrive in two weeks. The great city of New Vernii would, most likely, fall in this period of time, if not – the Emperor would send his merciless Sardaukar and slay any ixian presence on any world of the known universe. Though Synx doubted if the high liner would arrive here at all. The lieutenant turned to Traex and saw him trying to kill himself for another time. One thing was sure – he cannot hold the governorship for any longer. Suddenly Synx said:

-      What is the main access code?! , - The man didn’t care what code, but undoubtly he found Traex in a perfect condition to reveal House Vernius most vital secrets.

-      Crato sendziuma, - silently responded Traex, it meant “pass through”

Synx unsheathed his projectile pistol and asked again:

-      What was the purpose of New Vernii?

-      Battle mech and battle A.I research.

-      Exact location? , - Demanded Synx

-      Dyonide mine Nr. 585 in sector “ Triabis “, - So ixians called the icy head of the dragon … but wait why do you need this information lieutenant?

Synx realized that the ex governor was returning to his mind, so he shot him with one accurate shot in his head. Traex never wore shield belt in his research pavilion. The new governor took the chain from the dead governor and put it on his head. The chain passed to him perfectly. Synx approached the open media channel, cleared his throat and announced:

-      Dear citizens, I have most unfortunate news – our beloved commander and governor Traex has committed suicide. But before his death he put me in charge of New Vernii and Draconis IV. I hope that the great House Vernius will triumph on this planet.

Most unlikely, the crowd began to cheer. The people were indeed lucky to have a new leader. The old Governor really set the whole city into depredation. Scientist and researchers began to chatter about the events that forced Traex to commit suicide.

Synx promised hope though there was no hope. He overtook the leadership but he never knew what he was to do. I must begin by understanding our situation, thought Synx while activating the microphone – he asked for two guards and some mentats. He couldn’t was it Draconis IV or even the whole House Vernius in his hands but one was sure – he must never give up.

     

     

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