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The dune fans can take Star wars


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I if you are going to post something here please read the entire topic before posting6-4 2002, the Star wars fans secret base (some where near Lucas arts)Gorge Lucas turns to the commander of the Star wars underground army "We'll soon wipe out the dune fans" "yes" replies the commandermeanwhile under the Danish island of Bornholm.The Sardaukar burseg (Me) walks into the control room, "why do you me disturb" "you should read this general" the intelligence officer hands the burseg a rapport he reads "Soon we will crush the dune fans, and then Star wars will b.... under ground army......." "sorry my burseg that was all we could translate they were using some wired code" the general sighs "all right get this posted on Fed2k, we must warn our fellow dune fans, meanwhile we must reedy ourselves for the coming battle.If any of you wonder why Bornholm is the base of the dune fans' Sardaukar forces it is because in my opinion Bornholm is another S. Sec.and also feel free to write on this story

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After recieving some disturbing calls from Denmark a guy walks through the terminal, looking for his bags. Darn, they replaced it again on the flight over here. Luckaly I still have my briefcase containing a encrypted file somewhere on my laptop's HD. The Dune underground will be verry pleaced to see the emails we have intercepted.

Now if I can only get my bags . ...

Finaly found them, they appear to be on a flight to New Orleans ::)

Anoid I start walking towards the exit where a black car with shaded windows is waiting.

"shell we go sir ?"

"please .. . "

The car is rappidly gaining speed and miles as it is heading for the Bornholm when the guy next to me with his disturbing look faces me.

"We can't wait to see the document you have for us ... "

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Before the communications officer can make the contact a Bene Geserit witch enters and uses the voice to stop him. "We can do this by ourselves. We don't need help from the trekkies. Let's look at this. We are outnumbered, but we have one big advantage, we are way smarter, we read books!"

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before anything can happen another communications officer enters the room, "It has begun" he shouts "the bastards have attacked our fellow dune fans in Canada, they are using Imperial storm troops" "what"  a young Sardaukar Bator rises "how dare they call themselves "imperial" we will show them that we are the only imperial troops on this planet!!!" the Burseg looks at the Bator "it is of no use, even if we could get the tickets to Canada, all of our friends there would be dead when we arrived, and the Star Wars fans would be ready and waiting, instead we will go to western Europe and wait for them there"

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The Burseg looks at the count "Yes TGC (the great convention) only applies to Dune fans, but there is another problem, Gob is still there and to use atomics on Canada will also kill god and his troops, and that would be to defy TGC, besides Gob is an superb tactician, he will be able to resist for months once he has retreated  to his mountain stronghold"

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Burseg: "if you absolutly want to nuke some thing nuke africka i don't think that are any dune fans there,

but i would be a complete wast of a nuke, since that i don't thik that there are any star wars fans there,

count: "oh i see"

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Okay, we can nuke New Zealand: Two Reasons;

1) There are very little Dune Fans here, but there are heaps of StarWars fans.

2) I always wanted to know what being hit by a nuke was like. *melting!!!, melting!!*

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to Jacob techXPert Douds suggestion, even if there only was a single dune fan there it would still be a violation of TGC.

The burseg turns very pale "and all we have is the guild and their ships aren't armed. Mentat !!!"

the Mentet rushes in "what do you suggest" "I suggest that we strike them where they least expect it, in New Zealand, and to avoid detection we shall use a ship of the smugglers guild (air china), hopefully this will make them whit draw most of their forces form Canada to New Zealand, and just before they arrive, the smugglers will take us home. and the Star Freaks will find their poll of recruits decimated, and that will just might be what we will need to turn this war in our favor" the Burseg looks at the Mentat "I trust you Mentat, next stop Copenhagen airport"

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The driver looks at his passengers.

"It appears we have a small change of planes."

"The delegation has just left Bornholm, we'll catch up with them in a few miles."

"The war seems to have started !"

The seemingly unintersested passenger looks out the window .. . ."my god, where will this end ?"

A few long minutes after that the car enters a farm just of the main road. As it speeds into the barn the man loking outside can see some troop-movement, and just before entering an orni seems to fly over.

"Here we are.", the first words of the pale men almost sound as a relief to the driver.

With his briefcase ferm in his hand the man steps out of the car toward a small table filed with other laptops showing sat-pictures, infra red's, weather maps, troop placement and an encoded screen.

The mentat walks towards the man. "Welcome, we where tolded you are carring verry valiuble and important information that might help us ?".

"I do."

Placing the briefcase on the table, opening a laptop inside the case and ejecting a CDrom. While hending it over to the mentat. "This could. . . help you we think."

When placing the cd in one of the laptops the mentat looks at the screen.

"There are over 15 milion communicated messages between the different Star Wars troop here !

And how did you get these troops discplacment map's of them ?"

The persone that brought the briafcase seems unimpreseed.

"You might whant to look at the encryption files.

They are 8 day old by now, but it's doubtfull they have changed the algorithm of the DeathStarts

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The Sardaukar force have arrived at the farm.

Just as the Sardaukar leader have entred barn "here we have the messenger..." but before he can complete the sentence, the sounds of battle can be heard the burseg rushes outside have star wars fans emerge all around the sardaukar and the farm, 3 sardaukars get shoot before the burseg can do anything "they are using projectile weapons use your shields" the air begins to humm as the shields are turned on. after a shot but violent battle the sardaukars wipe out the star wars fans. as the burseg entres the farm he turns to the messenger "now what is you have to tell us"

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One of the mentat's interviens.

"You have to see this, thousends of messages of the Star Wars fans, there planes, maps and even a code for there ships !"

With a calm stare the man that origionally brought the case with him looks at the burseg.

"As prommised. Watever we will inetercept we shall share with you."

The small girl is still there, looking verry disturbed. "We have to get out of here, it's not safe !"

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*In the meantime...*

SSFSX17 is a high school student by day. By night, he reads more and more books in the Dune series and maintains a secret underground network of Dune fans.

"Considering our close proximity to Skywalker ranch, we would do well to engage in... the plan." he types out into mIRC.

"Oh no! Not... the PLAN!" the rest respond.

"We must... imprint them. I was one of Duncan Idaho's best students in that sort of manipulation, and I am afraid that it is the only thing we can do for now. The regular army is overseas and on the Eastern Seaboard. Our position in California is very precarious."

"We live in the heartland of Silicon Valley. We reside in between San Jose, Santa Clara, Newark, and Menlo Park. They wouldn't dare try to infiltrate this region!"

"On the contrary, the fact that we are in the midst of a significant financial and technological nexus gives them all the more reason to try to penetrate this heartland. The Ix is doing its best to remain covert, but we fear that may not last for long."

"How about Plan B? Do we have a plan B?"

"Yes. Thanks to the high amount of beautiful asians living in this area, including myself, I have managed to use an Ixian machine to create a seductress capable of controlling Mr. Lucas. Unfortunately, we must manually drive down to Skywalker Ranch and physically introduce her into the environment in order to do so, and I am not familiar with the highway system."

"How about we get her down to Hollywood during the Oscars?"

"Excellent... I see you were aware of my cousins living in the Los Angeles region. Very well then, we will resort to Plan B."

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the burseg looks at the mentat, take the messenger and the girl to my base under Bornholm, you will be safe there, take 50 of my sardaukars whit you, meanwhile, me and my forces will carry out our raid on New Zealand, according to the plans, they have no heavy troops, and only a little light forces, to guard their training facilities, so we will move in and wipe out any enemy forces and any potential recruits while evacuate any dune fans left there, and be out again before any enemy forces arrive to aid New Zealand

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In the meantime Earthnuker and has infiltrated the palace of the so called empire. Wearing a stormtroop suit he walks into the communications centre of the palace where he encounters four guards.

Guard: "Password?"

Earthnuker: "Eeeeh...I forgot."

Guard: "No imperial trooper would forget a password!"

Earthnuker: "To be frank...I never knew it in the first place."

Guard: "So you are not authorized to enter the communications centre? Then why did you come here?"

Earthnuker: "I....I was lost."

Guard: "There's something fishy about this. You wait here, we will contact the supreme commander and..."

Then Earthnuker takes out his laser gun and shoots the guard. The remaining three grab their weapons but Earthnuker shoots 2 of them before they return fire.  The third fires at Earthnuker but narrowly misses. Earthnuker shoots him straight in the face.

Then he walks to the main computer and sees if he can access it. Right then the alarm goes....

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After being transporter by the smugglers guild, the sardaukars of burseg Philip have devastated 4/5 of New Zealand, leaving only burning houses and the skulls of star wars fans, while sending any dune fans they found back to Denmark.

Burseg Philip is standing on a hill looking at another devastated town when a bator walks up to him

"my burseg we have just received word that general gob has fallen in Canada and Lucas have sent his main force to New Zealand, but i have we have also captured a enemy general" Burseg Philip looks at the bator "then call the smugglers, we are leaving"

later at the secret base under Bornholm, "mentat what is your suggestion" the burseg looks at the mentat "i suggest that we attempt to fortify our western front, in case Lucas will attempt to attack us, as a retaliation for the New Zealand raid" the burseg looks at the mentat "your right"

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A dozen of stormtroopers run into the communications centre. Earthnuker understands that he cannot take down all of them, and says:

"He went that way."

Surprisingly, it works. The stormtroopers run out of the room. Earthnuker then accesses the main computer and steals valuable data pertaining to the Death Star space station. He quickly runs out of the building and heads for the airfield, where he steals a small transport craft. He then quickly powers up the ship and flies away, out of Cuba (where the secret palace was located). All the sudden, his radar picks up 3 fighters heading to intercept him. He attempts to loose them, but he fails. His left wing was hit and he crash landed in the outskirts of San Fransisco, where the fighters left him, presuming he did not survive the crash.

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after the ceremony held in the honor of Gob, a treeki diplomat dressed up as Spook arrives at Burseg Philips office at the Base under Bornholm, Philip looks at the diplomat "yes" the diplomat looks at Philip for a moment, "i have come form the treeki federation, seeking trade, we will give you 5000 destroyes for 5000 of every dune book  in the series and 2000 copies of E:BFD and dune2k" the buseg looks at the diplomat "you won't get all that for less than 8000 destroyers" "done, you'll receive you ship in a matter of hours"

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after the diplomat have left the young count enters the bursegs office "we can confirm that there are no dune fans left alive in Canada, shall i use my atomics" the burseg looks tiered at the count "yes you might as well do it, they can't have gotten all of their storm troops out"  "this is cool i finally have an chance to use my atomics"

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Fine then, leave me to die and Nuke my home.  See if I care.  I'm only The voice from the outer world.  You don't need me at all.

I DAMN YOU ALL TO HELL!

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