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Dune Jokes

nemafakei

By nemafakei
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BaronMoritani

BaronMoritani

Posted
Posted

This is reposted from the Landsraad's page filed under Resources:

http://communities.msn.com/TheLandsraad

Bene Gesserit Archives:

Leto's Lost Journals:

From a conversation with Moneo-

Moneo: My lord, the populace are becoming agitated. It seems they are tiring of having a living god to worship, and who rules directly over them.

LetoII: Have I ever told you the story of Adam of Eve?

M: No, is this historical information from your other memories?

L: Yes. It seems Adam was alone in the Garden of Eden and said to his god, "God I thank you for the paradise you have created for me, but I am lonely." His god says, "I will create for you a mate." Adam asks, "What is a mate?" His god answers,"She will be called woman. She will bear you offspring, and she will nurture them always. She will also care for you and nurture you as well through all difficulties you encounter."

Adam becomes suspicious of his living god and asks,"God, how much is this going to cost me?" "Well," says his god, "It is going to cost you an arm and leg."

Adam ponders this and finally asks, 'What can I get for a rib?'"

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Bene Gesserit Records: Leto's Lost Journals

LetoII's Initial Conversation With Newly Shipped Duncan Idaho Ghola #14

Duncan Idaho: Why have you employed women as your new army, Duke Leto?

LetoII: My Fishspeakers? Women have certain qualities that I require.

Duncan: Certainly men are best qualified of the two genders to protect House Atreides.

LetoII: Are you so certain, my old friend? Did the Tlexians explain to you about my other memories?

Duncan: Yes, they explained them, but I don't understand why you entrust these fishspeakers...

LetoII: Do you know about Adam and Eve, old friend?

Duncan: Moneo mentioned it as I entered your chamber.

LetoII: How astute of Moneo! He does not enjoy my stories from my other memories as much as you.

Duncan: I've never heard any.

LetoII: Of course you have. Well, Adam and Eve are alone in the Garden of Eden receiving the special distinctions from THEIR god that differentiate man and woman.

Duncan: I don't understand.

LetoII: He would provide one gender with a characteristic, then he would give the other person another one. For example, their god would decide that women would bear children, and then choose men to be physically developed to hunt and provide for them. Understand?

Duncan: I guess so, my Duke, but what does this have to do with an entirely female army?

LetoII: Have faith, my friend. Adam and Eve's god is finally down to the last two distinctions that seperate the genders. Their god asks, "Who wants to make water standing up?" Adam immediately demands that he be allowed this distinction. His god agrees and gives Eve the concluding trait saying, "Eve shall have the multiple orgasms."

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We have about seven more of these 'alleged' histories at:

http://communities.msn.com/TheLandsraad

nampigai

nampigai

Posted
Posted

I was just thinking howcome tthe US has a President like George W. Bush. He's obviusly very dumb. I saw a program ones where he was asked who was the chairman of PLO, and he couldn't answer. gee, and now he's the worlds most powerfull man. Big aplause to the US.

alphabeta4000

alphabeta4000

Posted
Posted

are these jokes and mister baron atreides I am the (debately) the mod emperor worm!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Refer to old post. Kill me and the mods dy hahahahaha!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Anyway with the expansion thing I'm only quarter way finishing but may release skirmish only version soon.

nampigai

nampigai

Posted
Posted

yikes!!!! what have I started oh Lord have mercy on my sould *ZAP* ARRRGHHH auch damn it, you didn't have to do that *ZAP* uh ah it felt kinda nice though do it again *ZAP* uh hihihi..... *Earth opens beneath* nooooooooooooo *Bunk* "there satan you can have him"

hmmm it's kinda hot down here, hi satan let's fuck.

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