try this for fun

[Acriku]

Dj lol a grandfather clock telling military time ;)

[rogue1896]

and that, dj, is why you won most of those Best Jokester awards. ;D

[DjCiD]

like I said if for some strange reason.... other wise its time for a new clock... ;D

[rigel6669]

I'll post the answers tomorrow.

Your post of the answers will be very short slap, dj posted the correct answers already. ;D

Only number 10 is missing.

10) that it is crap, saying that you are not superstitious is also superstition.

You got now more time to type round number 2... ;)

[emprworm]

"10. What do you say to a man who claims not to be superstitious?"

I say, "good for you"

[Acriku]

I'll post the answers tomorrow.

Your post of the answers will be very short slap, dj posted the correct answers already. ;D

Only number 10 is missing.

10) that it is crap, saying that you are not superstitious is also superstition.

You got now more time to type round number 2... ;)

Check the text hidden, above his ;)

[slaphapy]

lol dj u really got into it...

anyway here are the correct answers, u guys got most of them right:

1. In Camberley, England, two out of every seven people have telephone numbers that are not listed in the directory. If there are 14,000 names in the Camberley telephone directory, how many of them have numbers that are unlisted?

none.

2. In Iran, a Westerner cannot take a photograph of a man with a turban. Why not?

It is best to take a photograph of a man with a camera, not a turban. :D

3. How many successful parachute jumps does a trainee parachutist in the U.S. Army have to make before he graduates from jump school?

all of them or he is dead!!!! :O :-X

4. what is the invention, first discovered in ancient times, that allows people to see through solid walls?

a window

5. A man carefully pointed his car due east and then drove for two miles. He was then two miles west of where he started from. How come?

He drove in reverse.

6. A mail plane was halfway from Dallas to Miami at a height of 2000 feet on a clear, still day. It dropped a 100 kg sack of airmail letters and a 100 kg steel rod at the same time. Which hit the ground first?

Neither. The plane was over the Gulf of Mexico, so they both hit the water lol. I don't think anyone got that.

7. If two are company and three are a croud, what are four and five?

nine.

8. With which hand does a nun stir her coffee?

most nuns use spoons.

9. Why do some people press elevator buttons with their fingers and others with their thumbs?

To make the elevator move. :O

10. What do you say to a man who claims not to be superstitious?

Lend me $13!

11. If a grandfather clock strikes thirteen, what time is it?

Time to get a new clock!!

12. Two sons, two fathers and a grandfather sat together. How many men were there?

two men, one of them was a grandfather.

13. An archaeologist showed his daughter a coin that he had found on a dig. He told her it was dated 200 B.C. She told him she thought it was fake. Who was right?

The archaeologist was right, of course. The coin had been found in a cloth which was carbon dated 200 B.C.

14. two-parter: a) What color is a refrigerator? b)What do cows drink?

a) white. b) water (some ppl say milk.) ;)

well i hope you all had fun with this o... and here is a rating scale if u wish to rate yourself:

Number correct: Rating:

12 to 14 Slap-quiz M4sta!

8 to 11 close second...LOL

4 to 7 pointless trivia beginer

0 to 3 N3WB!!! :P

[rogue1896]

lol. that was actually great. a lot better than emprworms riddles. pfft. lol j/k ;D ;)

[slaphapy]

here are some quotes that i have from a calander... u may think they are amusing:

"TOILET OUT OF ORDER

PLEASE USE

FLOOR BELOW."

- sign in office building rest room.

"An invisible car came out of nowhere, struck my car and vanished."

- statement on insurance form in which the driver was trying to explain the accident in as few words as possible.

BOZO THE CLOWN:"You're never a loser on the Bozo show, you're just an almost-winner."

KID(who has just lost): "Cram it, clown."

BOZO: "That's a Bozo no-no"

- conversation during live broadcast of Bozo the Clown show.

"This is a bank robbery of the Dallas Federal Reserve Bank of Dallas, give me all the money. Thank you, Ronnie Darnell Bell."

- hold-up note handed to a security guard by the "would-be" robber Ronnie Darnell Bell (arrested shortly after).

i hope u enjoy the quotes... i will have more questions by tomorrow hopefully.

[Acriku]

Two men? Are you sure it isn't three?

[slaphapy]

yes, because

the "father" (as he is named basically) is a son and a father

and the "grandfather" is a son, a father, and obviously a grandfather

count em....2

[Acriku]

But how do we know that he is a father? The way I thought about it, was 3 men - two are fathers by the example, 2 are sons by the example, and 1 is grandfather by the example.

[slaphapy]

how do we know which one is the father??

if u are talking about the person refered to as "father" then he is a father because well...that's what is suggested by the word "father"

and the grandfather is a father because...well for the same reason as before....

it's just a way of playing with words to mess with your mind about it.... there were 2 ppl they both were fathers and they both were sons...

[Acriku]

But we are assuming he is a father. If you have 3 people, a grandfather, his son, and the son's son. The grandfather counts as one father. The son's son is one son. The son of the grandfather and father of the son is both son and father. It just seems a better answer because there's no assumptions, no outside information.

[IxianMace]

Heh, I noticed a pretty funny sign yesterday in a car park:

It said:

"Please park only in bays" ::)

I would have thought that people would be able to figure that out. Perhaps some people decided to block the car park entrance with their own cars parked there. ;D :P

[DjCiD]

I heard that one at work and was told the 3 man answer ;)

[rogue1896]

well i remember throughout my entire middle school career, when i was a little dumber, i would laugh when i saw this one sign. i always thought it meant to avoid the children b/c they are dumb or something. guess i wasn't too quick either. lol.

"Slow Children"

[DjCiD]

My fav sign is this one:

Slow

Children

At Play

[slaphapy]

ok some more questions..... woohooooo

1. A man builds a house with 4 sides.. each side has a sothern exposure. A bear wanders by, what color is the bear?

2. a man has 23 sheep, all but nine died.. how many are left?

3. you have 2 coins that equal 55 cents, 1 of the coins is not a 5 cent piece , what are the 2 coins??

4. what is twice the half of 1 3/7?

5. If two peacocks lay two eggs in two days, how many eggs can one peacock lay in four days?

6. How many cubic feet of earth are there in a hole measuring 3 feet wide by 4 feet long by 5 feet deep?

7. do you know how long cows should be milked?

8. Where was Queen Cleopatra's temple?

9. In what month do americans eat the least?

10. how many marbles can you put in an empty bag?

11. The greengrocer stands 6 feet tall, has a 46-inch chest, and wears size 12 shoes. What do you think he weighs?

12. How long will a seven-day grandfather clock run without winding?

have fun.. ;D

[rigel6669]

[hide]*

1) there are no bears at the s pole

2) 9 are still alive

3) both are dollar cents

4) number stays the same

5) peacocks do not lay eggs

6) there is no earth in an empty hole

7) till the cow pulls up her leg

8) inside her clothes, her body was the temple

9) february

10) zero, otherwise the bag is not empty

11) vegetables and fruit

12) without winding the clock does not work

[/hide]

Answers can be read by mouse dragging

[Acriku]

[hide]

1. White, polar bears baby :)

2. 9

3. a half-dollar, and the other is a nickel :)

4. 1 3/7

5. Peahen's lay eggs, not peacock

6. 0

7. till dry?

8. she died in a war, so...dunno

9. february

10. none, or it wouldn't be an empty bag

11. he weighs vegetables to get the price

12. 0[/hide]

[slaphapy]

well not many people replied but...

here are the answeres anyway:

1. A man builds a house with 4 sides.. each side has a sothern exposure. A bear wanders by, what color is the bear?

white, it is a polar bear because you are sitting on the north pole

2. a man has 23 sheep, all but nine died.. how many are left?

9, all BUT nine died.

3. you have 2 coins that equal 55 cents, 1 of the coins is not a 5 cent piece , what are the 2 coins??

a 50 cent piece and a nickel

4. what is twice the half of 1 3/7?

1 3/7

5. If two peacocks lay two eggs in two days, how many eggs can one peacock lay in four days?

peacocks don't lay eggs.

6. How many cubic feet of earth are there in a hole measuring 3 feet wide by 4 feet long by 5 feet deep?

0, there is no earth in a hole

7. do you know how long cows should be milked?

the same as short cows. ;D

8. Where was Queen Cleopatra's temple?

on the side of her head.

9. In what month do americans eat the least?

february.

10. how many marbles can you put in an empty bag?

1 after that it won't be empty.

11. The greengrocer stands 6 feet tall, has a 46-inch chest, and wears size 12 shoes. What do you think he weighs?

apples, pears, potatoes, etc.

12. How long will a seven-day grandfather clock run without winding?

it won't run with out being wound.

well thats them all

rating...

Number correct: Rating:

12 to 14 Slap-quiz M4sta!

8 to 11 close second...LOL

4 to 7 pointless trivia beginer

0 to 3 N3WB!!!

[Acriku]

I'm a slap-quiz mastah!