Dumbest story ever told

[emprworm]

who can write the most meaningless paragraph?

All the arguing and serious bickering going on in here, this is the thread for just plain idiocy. Spew stupid statements here and you can still feel normal.

A meaningless paragraph:

As I woke up and gazed at the green sky, I reached for the curtain rod and noticed the Egyptian markings. So I quickly put on my purple turtleneck before dancing upside down, hurting my head. But then the great birdman hovered like rubber tree stumps making blueberry pancakes which I could not eat. Just then a ping pong ball merging with the Brahmin materialized and the phone chord suddenly broke wreaking havoc all around. Needless to say, I did not have a good day.

[sneezer3]

Mind if i do it in poems like? ;D

Poem 1'Twas the night before July 28th, when all through the house

Not a creature was stirring, not even a mouse;

Except for some peckings that could be heard

on the keyboard, by a geek.. or even a nerd

The geek was nestled all snug in his seat

while visions of games danced to some beats

Suddenly the screen turned all blue, and the it froze with a "BEEP!"

The geek looked at the screen, and didn't utter a peep

For he knew what had happened, windows had froze

he just sat there and waited, picking his nose

he tried to hit enter, he tried to escape,

he even tried typing "oh windows, I hate"

When suddendly some words windows did fuss

It said, all your base are belong to us

then the geek froze with astonishment, and stared at the screen

that's the most intelligent thing from windows I've seen!

The geek looked at the clock and said, "What I need is sleep!"

Geeks don't sleep said windows, you shouldn't even try counting sheep.

for the past few years, at me you've cussed

now pushing this button, I think is a must

a strange buzzing noise from the computer could be heard,

oh no you do not, said the nerd

reaching for the plug he pulled and tugged

but the plug was stuck, the place must be bugged

suddenly he awoke, all asleep in his seat

he realized he dreamt it all, while sitting on his feet

tired he was so he began to crawl

must sleep he uttered, and that was all.

________________________________________________________________________________

Poem 2 : Has i woke up i gazeed at some red looking tea. Then i Got up and saw ye. So i posted and pecked until i recked on my two feet. I got up and fell. then i started to smell some CD's spining and going left then right. then left and right. Then i got up and Ran has i was being chased down the streed. Then suddenly i rememberd what the CD's had said. They told me to go left. With the angles on my two feet. So i went right then left untill finele i saw. The police was comeing to kill me after all. So i Ran and ran untill all i could do was fall. and crawl. They cought me and asked me what i was doing there after all. For they had not wanted to kill me but to cook me for Brakfast. So i ran and ran all of that for all.

____________

Hope you Like them. :) There meaningles at lest ;D

[nemafakei]

I've written a sentence, rather than a paragraph.

These very things being the case, the opportunity was reluctantly seized to ensue a careful deliberation for the purposes of diligent discussion of the remote possiblility of analytically considering available actions, as opposed to a more restrained alternative of a formal complaint, the exact wording of which (and leniency or serverity thereof) would, of course be scrutinously considered on another occasion - a date which must be precisely specified at a later time, provided that the necessary conditions were met according to established protocol and the validation criteria were correctly fulfilled to a sufficiently high standard to merit efficient use in such a momentous context, wheresoever even partly relevant, to ensure complete thouroughness, the scale of which not falling below a predefined minimum of acceptability.

[Anathema]

Once upon a time there was a mongolian sheep, who was carrying large atomic iguanas with strawberry flavour. Then, a squirle came by and painted all of the grass blue with orange dots. Suddenly, Earth was morphed from a dumb little planet into sheep paradise. "Bah beh beh" they said. Jesus appeared, and said: "I, am your messiah, and will command odd cows everywhere. From now on, cheese will be blue and pigs will start flying through the sky". Everybody started behaving annoyingly pious, until they realised Jesus was just a guy with a fake beard.

[exatreide]

The man woke up. Whare was he? Why did his tears taste like cough syprup? And why was he in a frezer surounded by female hammerhead sharks. He stood up, only to find himself standing in a a disco dance floor. He was dessed like john tovolta. A beutiful Red haried lady came and danced with him. The many was happy yet still troubled why did his tears taste like cough syrup? And why was the disco floor coverd in bird dropings?

[Acriku]

The sweet flower brushed by the girl was as beautiful as the next girl. Who try to look all fancy with their dress shoes are only meant for church and not your daily jobs are hard to get these days. People are growing more fat is bad in food is a necessity not a luxury is not only for rich people but for poor people can't clean themselves well.

[emprworm]

LOL! HAMMERHEAD SHARKS o man im laughing so hard here. That was great. ROFL

keep it up.

[TMA_1]

I wanted some pizza, and my friend was making roman soup, so I took the noodles and then plastered them on my face. I started eating the noodles but accidenta lly ate my nose. I ran to the bathroom and got some cotton balls and it formed into a big red nose.

After coming home from the circus I noticed that some cats and dogs were falling from the sky. I put a umbrilla on the top of my apartment complex which is composed of only my room, so its not really an apartment but anyways, the cats and dogs were lying on the ground and I went out and took two of them as pets. they performed wonderfully for me and made me think of making a special food for them

Thats how I invented Dog Food and Cat Food... hehe

[Lord J]

Heh, you guys ought to check out the Y.A.R.N section of Gamespy sometime. Example:

"Well, It all started when my cat did the hokey pokey on the big dance floor. Drank all the Kool-Aid and asked for even more. The next thing I knew I was trying to take pictures, when suddenly he started talking. "No flash photography please". I was agast. Then out of nowhere he left. Got in this sheep's vette.A '72 I think. That's around when I woke up. Right after the chicken came up and started clucking to the sound of "1999" by The Artist. Anyway, It seems I had fallen asleep with the radio on again, and right in the middle of training too. That new BFG3000 model had been

giving everyone back at the base big trouble. Why, one cadet even thought he had fought with a giant Orc/Alien hybrid named Gracie Faye. We learned later that Gracie was the name of his ex-wife.

The moral of the story: When the army gives you great pay to watch hulicinatory machines in Antartica, make sure to bring repair equipment."

See? Uninteresting in the extreme :)

[DukeLeto]

Fred was born. Fred lived. Fred died. They buried Fred. the End.

Meaningless, and yet so prophetic. :P

[emprworm]

yea, only meaningless until you uncover the truth behind fred. He was AN ALIEN! MUAHAHAHHA

[TMA_1]

or a reverse vampire... hehe simpsons

[emprworm]

Let us begin our story of the Greatest Hero Ever Known....

(and dumbest story ever told)

As our hero pondered the fate of the universe, the cold refried bean simmered with desparing contemplation. With spaghetti sauce in hand, he made his way through the Roman bath houses yelling

"Veni Vidi Versace!" as his leather coat grew into a monstrous 80 foot Australian platypus.

All the nudies in the bathhouse fleeing in celebration as the platypus ate them one by one. Enjoying his dinner, the platypus started a Texas Two step dance, as the Roman Emperor whipped out his Gibson guitar and started cranking up the tunes. Suddenly, the floor opened and swallowed them all up into a humongous undulating realm of lime jello. Swimming around in the jello, and eating some at the same time, our hero knew what he must do....

SOMEONE CONTINUE THIS ABSURD STORY!!!

[exatreide]

shouldnt this be in fan fic?

[sneezer3]

our hero knew what he must do....

So he quickly climbed out of the kitchin with some cheese in one hand. and buble gum in the other he made a rope and climbed out! he had to be real careful avoideing the spaghetti sauce on the the walls.

Then he wiped up some cake Useing the lime jello for flavoring and spaghetti sauce for soup! He quickly wiped up and made his king some soup! But then. suddenly<To be Continued by you>

[IxianMace]

...suddenly, he slipped and fell through the floor, arriving at the other side of the Earth! Waking up in ecstacy, he observed his surroundings, then spontaneously buried his face in the dirt and shook his head viciously, knocking himself unconscious in the process. When he came round several millenia later, he found that the sun had fallen from the sky, and that it was shining brightly. He picked himself up from the ground, and dusted the ice crystals off his phalanges. He suddenly has a burst of inspiration. Grabbing a boulder in his hand, he doubled up and pitched it over his head, converting it into a sonic blast in exactly 2.15 nanoseconds, shattering his fingers and snapping off his arm at the same time. He smiled and watched, as his arm re-materialized from cosmic dust.

[Anathema]

Then, he began exploring his surroundings. He appeared to be in a desert of some sort. Then, all the sudden, he was hit on the head from behind. He couldn't see the face of his attacker in time.

2 hours later he woke up, tied up to a post. He could see primitive tents all over the place. Around him were some vicious looking sheep, who were dressed up like indians. A large sheep, apparently the chief, approached him...

[exatreide]

and shoved a bannana in his mouth, he then placed a apple on his head and started dancing, chanting "kill the infedels kill them!" A pack of angry Moncocks(mix between mongoose and peecocks.) arupt from the ground and begein eating his toes.

The man spits the bannana out. And find himself in a dark room. Sourounded by Pictures of Jenifer Lopez. He is sitting on a bed with a powerpuff girls blanekt. The ground is coverd with scorpians with the heads of Saddamn and bush fighting it out.

the man is scared.

Why outside the window is there Chettawoves hunting chickens who look like George kazstanza?

He begins to cry........enjoying his cough syrup tears.

[emprworm]

as he lies there crying, a billion locusts begin to swarm outside, and he begins to stare at the doorknob. Not "his" doorknob, or "a" doorknob, but THE doorknob. Yes. This is the legendary Great Galactic Doorknob. As he stares, the feels himself drawn into the doorknob, unable to resist its power, as the locusts outside start singing an old Barry Manalow jig- "I Write The Songs".

[emprworm]

OT

shouldnt this be in fan fic?

you kidding me? if you read the 1.8 milion rules in there, you will see that this nonsense violates nearly half of them.

/OT

[exatreide]

actully this violates none of them

[emprworm]

it violates #5, 7, 8 , 9 and 10.

It violates new rule addendums #1, and 3.

In this thread, you can have all the super-duper-super-wooper-hooper-mooper weapons you want and YOU DONT HAVE TO ASK ANYONE.

blaawaa-ahahaha

And your meaningless spam violates my personal rule on this thread which is meaningless stupidity.

wait a minute.

your last post WAS meaningless so I guess it fits fine.

bwa-hah-ah-a

[emprworm]

now, back to the idiocy.

Our hero, now inside the doorknob, makes a SUPER_DUPER-WOOPER weapon with a big red button on it. When he pushes the button , the SUPER_DUPER-WOOPER blows up, destroying the entire universe. he wakes up to find himself in a parallel universe filled with infinite balls of fluffy rainbowed colored cotton candy. Some of the cotton candy balls are the size of planets, and big frisbees flying about while an imperial hammerhead shark the size of a galaxy swims throughout the new universe.

[Anathema]

Suddenly, the entire universe freezes. The hero starts yelling things, but nothing happens. Everything remains static. He walks up to a computer, the computer that runs the entire universe. He kicks it. Nothing happens. He decides to push the reset button. He does so, all then colors start mingling and shapes distort. He can't keep track of what is what. Then, the distorting slows down, and all matter assumes a new position. That's when he finds out he's attached to a bus stop.

[exatreide]

Yet in the entire universe there was no water nothing but cotten candy. He was thirsty he wanted the taste of licorish out of his mouth and to wash the foul smell of moutin dew off of his naked body.