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The_Sadukar

The dune fans can take Star wars

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After lying 2 days unconcious in the debris Earthnuker awakens- with a hell of a headache. He quickly checks if the data disk with the stolen tactical data is still in his pocket- it is. He was quite shocked to find out the Empire had stationed SDI installations in Canada- capable of rendering a nuclear attack useless. He had crashed not far from San Fransisco. He decided to walk there, and from there find a way to contact the Fed2k members. What he did not know, was that Imperial stromtroopers had landed in the area to search for Earthnukers body- and would find out that he had escaped only 2 hours after he left the wreckage. Following this the Imperial commander dispatched undercover agents to search and destroy Earthnuker to prevent him from reaching Fed2k with valuable data.

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You took me back to my homeland in Denmark, yay.

For your services to my country, by removing the horrible stench of star wars, and, removing everything else for that matter, I wish to offer my services as a master strategist. Whats the current issue?

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Mahdi, two things

1) if you are in Canada, the star wars fans will have killed you by now,

2) the "Empire" had stationed SDI installations in Canada- capable of rendering a nuclear attack useless.

meanwhile under Bornholm, a officer enters the office of the burseg, "THE CAPTIVE HAS DECIDED to speak, he has told us that Lucas is preparing an assault on England" "exelent our troops leave for England whit in the hour"

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When me and my troops hear of this invasion by the SW fans from Fed2k troops we offer our services as covert operation experts. We have prepared defensive positions for you in the north west of England and are ready to ambush the enemy.

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Earthnuker finally reaches San Fransisco and makes his way to the airport. He crosses a street, unwary that an undercover imperial stormtrooper spotted him at the corner of the street. The stormtrooper takes out his laser gun and fires at Earthnuker- but he sees it and ducks. All the people on the street run around in panic. Earthnuker, who is unarmed, runs into the subway, persuied by the stormtrooper. The stormtrooper sees Earthnuker running towards a train and runs towards it. Right then Earthnuker dissapears in the crowd. The stormtrooper runs to the train and right then Earthnuker comes from behind a pillar and kicks him in the back. The stormtrooper drops his weapon, wich Earthnuker picks up and shoots him. Earthnuker then walks into a shop to pick up another pair of clothes- not a minute to soon, because cops who were alerted by the fighting run into the subway only just after Earthnuker changed his clothes to avoid detection. He walks out of the subway and takes a bus to the airport.

There he takes a plane to Denmark.

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"Jacob the "Empire" had stationed SDI installations in Canada- capable of rendering a nuclear attack useless, so we can't nuke Canada. but we know that the Sw fans will invade england and use it, to lunch an assult on Erupe, we have comander Usul building bunkers to help us holding off the Sw fans, and they don't know that," a comm officer enters the room "my burseg a fellow dune fan, Earthnuker, have arrived in Denmark,...." "well bring him here, and use the Sweden detour, it will confuse any star wars fans that might be there"

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After a detour via Sweden Earthnuker arrives at the Fed2k base. A meeting is held and he is invited. When he enters most of the Fed2k members are already there. Earthnuker sits down and takes a deep breath, and says:

"The Emperors palace is located on Cuba. There I was a leutenent in the local Fed2k forces until the Empire attacked our bases and captured most of our forces. I managed to escape and steal valuable data, including the location of the prisons where our troops are held and several hangers containing military verhicles the Imperial stormtroopers captured. I suggest we smuggle commando troops into Cuba and have them liberate our troops and their verhicles. Then we should move in reinforcements and stage an attack on the Emperors palace."

Then he sits down again. The council is dismissed, and another is to be held the next day to plan our next move.

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I sit on the bridge of the Freedom, a Trekkie vessel.  I am bringing the Trekkie reinforcements to aid in war.  

Defiant Class ships begin firing their pulse phasers at the nearest Star Destroyer.  Soon turbolasers reduce them to rubble.  Nearly five dozen Klingon and Romulan  Birds of Prey kamikaze into a Star Destroyer, killing it.  Several Vor'cha class Klingon vessels blast at a Star Destroyer, but are soon destroyed.  Federation Runabouts, Miranda Class, Shuttlecraft, Venture Class, Akira Class, Prometheus Class, Intrepid Class, Excelsior Class, Nebula Class, Ambassador Class, Constitution Class, Galaxy Class, Soveriegn Class, Steamrunner Class, and Iwo Jima class ships all begin strafing a Super Star Destroyer.  Soon though it disables them, and shuttles of Stormtroopers capture them.

Romulan Warbirds and Talon Class ships are also captured, as are my Cardassian Galor Class Warships, and the few thousand Jem Hadar Fightercraft, and the Breen ships, and the Bajoran ships, and my fleet's Borg Ships, and the Federation Apollo Class Medical Ships, and the Federation Sabre Class ships, and the Lingon Neigh'var class ships, and the Ferengi Marauders, and the Species 8472 ships, and the Constellation Class Federation Ships, all these types of ships were captured.

My Freedom, a cross between a Federation Defiant Class Ship and a Klingon Ship rams itself into the Super Star Destroyer, doing no damage.

(Oops, did the Star Wars forces just take 3/4ths of my Trekkie fleet  of nearly a million ships?  Btw all ships mentioned there are in the Star Trek Universe.)

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At the next council meeting I volonter to lead and supply some commando troops to clear the way for a main assault. My plan is this we head into the coplex via the sewers, hopefuly Earthnuker will know where they are for our entery. We will then clear a path to doors to enterences to the palace and let in the main force. I suggest Jacob joins us or relays tactics to us and Earthnuker comes to aid in reconasance.

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"The device is completed, Master Lucas."

"Very good. Initiate the merging."

Saruman and Count Dooku both walked into paired chambers. These chambers were closed up and sealed tightly. Between them were a number of wires and hoses leading into a yet larger chamber. The machines began to sparkle and fizzle, and finally, it was complete. The big chamber opened up to reveal a merged version of Saruman and Count Dooku. Their appearances had not changed too much besides in their hair length, but their clothing had become mixed. Also, their powers were fused into a super-magic-force that would soon be unstoppable.

"Noone, not even those pathetic Dune fans, can oppose us now. Prepare the orcs, the stormtroopers, and the droids to be converted into Cyborg-Orctroopers.

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Earthnuker is glad to see that Usul volunteered to lead one of the commando parties. He told the council that he knew the sewer system around main bases better then anyone, and that he had also brought with him several maps. He also requests that he will lead one of the commando parties. He suggest that prior to an assault on the palace we should liberate 3 prisons near Alpha base that holds several Fed2k elite troops captured during the battle. On the captured Alpha base itself combat verhicles may be found for these troops. Then we should divert the rescued troops southwards of the palace to draw the main forces away from the northern perimiter of the base so reinforcements that will land on the coast can take the palace from the northern side. If this plan is to be executed we still need one more person to lead another commando party to liberate one of the prisons.

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The bruseg finds Earthnuker and Usul, arguing about who is hottest Chani or Irulan, "gentlemen" the burseg breaks in "we have just received word that some renegade Lord of the Rings fans have joined the star wars fans we will have to consider this, before we assault anything"

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a sardaukar enter the room "my burseg we have a man looking like Gandalf, he says he have been sent by the high command of the Lord of the Rings fans," Gandalf enters the room "at first I have to tell you that our new foe is extremely dangerous much more than the star wars fans alone, I ...." "another Sarduakar enters the room we are under attack milords"

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As soon as the alarm went Earthnuker went with his platoon to his post at the western perimiter. He grabbed his binoculars, and found out the attackers were mainly comprised of orcs. He took a breath, and said to his platoon:

"All right. I know you are experienced men, and I don't need to teach you how to shoot anyone. We'll be on position gamma 7, and our task is to hold that position at whatever the cost."

"Sir, isn't that one of the closest defense positions to the attackers?"

"It is the very closest positions to the attackers. It has been since gamma 8 was eradicated 2 minutes ago."

"God dammit!"

"Watch your language. Now move your asses!"

Earthnuker loaded his M16-A2 and sat down behind a pair of sandbags, as the orcs moved into range. Then he opened fire, as did the rest of his platoon.

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People we have an advantage with orcs, they can't fight in daylight (unless their Urak-hai) and they are stupid. If we dalay them till morning they will turn to stone. Grabs a SA80 and pours fire into the enemy.

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Meanwhile, the burseg holds the estean front, he looks at his troops, battle hardened and tough, and then he looks at the oncoming horde wimps in storm trooper costumes, "lad we can take them lets kick some star wars a$$" he loads his mini gun and sprays death to his foes.  

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Suddenly the Dark Jedi Slyth rises over the field of battle wacthing the pathetic mortals fight below.  Using the Force he rips a hole in the fabric of the space right below the burseg.  In an instant burseg finds himself in the cold of space doomed to die of aspyxiation of rentry through the atmosphere of Arakkis.  For the first time in his life it is he who feels terror as he floats helplessly in the dark reaches of space, destined to die without honor or courage.

Below the Dark one laugh at the mans plight.  It served him right for beliving he was a power in the universe.  Quickly Slyth turns his attention to the week armies below knowing their every though and move.  "That little wimp Lucas has no idea what a menace the Sith would become.....him and his loser jedi like Puke Skywalker are such worthless idealistis that the will be no macth for me!" exclaims Slyth as he rockets through the air on the power of the Force and a scaple like mind.  "But first I shall rid this little dust ball of all these worthless nonentities.........."

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Luke Skywalker sensed a great disturbance in the force. He met George Lucas in his private office that day.

"You have been very obedient all these years, Mark Hamill, and I have a new assignment for you," said George.

"What is it, master?" replied Luke.

"You must join forces with a powerful one of the Sith to defeat the Dune fans."

Luke clutched his head. "NOOOOOOOOOO!" He ran out of there as fast as he could and called up his buddies from Origin Games.

"Hello, is Blair there?"

"Yes, please hold." "This is Admiral Blair here, this had better be important. I'm busy fighting a new alien threat."

"Hey, Blair, this is Luke Skywalker. I think we may have to utilize an emergency merging to fight off George Lucas. He seems to have betrayed me, and he has gone mad."

"No problem. Be right there."

Right at that moment, the TCS Tiger's Claw II made a hyperjump right above Luke Skywalker's phone booth. An Excalibur fighter flew down and picked up Luke.

------

DarthWizard Saru-Dooku sensed a great disturbance in the force. "I sense the invasion of Wing Commander fans..."

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The burseg floats around, when an Excalibur fighter picks him, inside he meets Luke, the burseg draws his blade "I'll take your head, punk","no I know it is hard to understand but G. Lucas have betrayed us all i pledge the Jedi to your corse, pilot take us home"

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I have an idea I will take my forces and flank the enemy, one other leader takes his forces and flanks them from the other side. While we do this you continue firing as cover for us. And bring out the morters and artilery to help us.

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Burseg Philip use the fighters communication to contact Earthnuker "I will be gone for some time while I'm away you will be in charge of my base and my men, and this war"

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IIII looks over the battlefield. Dead orcs lie all around. No new ones are coming.

IIII transmits this message to Usul:

"We need to haste. Gather your stuff and get ready to leave. We're going to Cuba."

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Suddenly the Jedi council arrives with Mace Windu and Yoda in front. They all draw their lightsabers and start fighting a way through the dunefans. Above them huge clonetrooper ships roar through the sky taking down all dune aircraft

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Now, after the Orcs are dead we launch our pincer movement slicing into the newly arrived enemies unprotected flank. Many men die but we succed and take many prisoners. New unsheilded Ornithopters are launced to fire lasguns at the SW aircraft. They take down many but most are downed. Those piolts who survive and my men begin to shoot down the rest. After that I gather my men, weapons and equipment and join Eathnucker for the Cuban raid. Oh and Chani is hotter ;D.

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Sorry for the lateness of my post I have log in problems back home and this reply is from a computer at school.

A Fed2k transport ship wanders in the waters near Cuba.

Earthnuker:"Okay, soldiers. Here's the plan once more. At 6:02 hour ornithopters of Alpha wing and Hammer Wing will take off from this ship and take out the Cuban main communication centre and radar installations. This will result in that the enemy will not effectively counter our attacks, and keep enemy aircraft nailed to the ground with no way to navigate. When the targets are down Usul and me will take hovercrafts and make a beach landing at locations alpha and beta. There we will enter the subtereanean tunnel system and proceed through under the bases. We will sabotage the power grid and liberate prisoned Fed2k soldiers. Then we will capture the verhicle hangars to liberate captured Fed2k verhicles. Then we will coordinate an assault on the palace.

(Ps I won't be able to reply for some time (for at least a week, since I'll be gone). I'm counting on Usul and The_Sardaukar to coordinate from here)

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