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How to be a good Republican

Dante
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Dante

Dante

Posted
Posted

Just a little something that I happened to find. Thought I'd throw it up here and see how many bullet holes it has when it comes down...

Ann Richards on How to Be a Good Republican:

1. You have to believe that the nation's current 8-year prosperity was due to the work of Ronald Reagan and George Bush, but yesterday's gasoline prices are all Clinton's fault.

2. You have to believe that those privileged from birth achieve success all on their own.

3. You have to be against all government programs, but expect Social Security checks on time.

4. You have to believe that AIDS victims deserve their disease, but smokers with lung cancer and overweight individuals with heart disease don't deserve theirs.

5. You have to appreciate the power rush that comes with sporting a gun.

6. You have to believe...everything Rush Limbaugh says.

7. You have to believe that the agricultural, restaurant, housing and hotel industries can survive without immigrant labor.

8. You have to believe God hates homosexuality, but loves the death penalty.

9. You have to believe society is color-blind and growing up black in America doesn't diminish your opportunities, but you still won't vote for Alan Keyes.

10. You have to believe that pollution is OK as long as it makes a profit.

11. You have to believe in prayer in schools, as long as you don't pray to Allah or Buddha.

12. You have to believe Newt Gingrich and Henry Hyde were really faithful husbands.

13. You have to believe speaking a few Spanish phrases makes you instantly popular in the barrio.

14. You have to believe that only your own teenagers are still virgins.

15. You have to be against government interference in business, until your oil company, corporation or Savings and Loan is about to go broke and you beg for a government bail out.

16. You love Jesus and Jesus loves you and, by the way, Jesus shares your hatred for AIDS victims, homosexuals, and President Clinton.

17. You have to believe government has nothing to do with providing police protection, national defense, and building roads.

18. You have to believe a poor, minority student with a disciplinary history and failing grades will be admitted into an elite private school with a $1,000 voucher.

Wolf

Wolf

Posted
Posted

Disagree with four, to be honest. And, I think that 7 is incorrect, as Republicans are lifting immigration restrictions -- 13 is bang-on, though. It seems this list is sort of outdated?

Wolf

Wolf

Posted
Posted

Well, that's understandable. You are a world away. In recent years, lots of things have changed. Bush has invented a whole new brand of conservatism, the neocon movement has mixed things up a bit as well -- to be honest, the Republican party seems to be getting a lot more... diversely diluted? If that's the term I'm looking for. I'll bet you'll be hard pressed to find a "basic" Republicn who meets any more than eight of these.

Vanguard3000

Vanguard3000

Posted
Posted

Newt was also the little girl from Aliens.  You know, the one whos parents were eaten by the aliens, torn up by the aliens, or captured alive and filled with eggy goodness by the aliens.

*Throws pseudo-shields at evryone's feet, and runs away, giggling.*

TMA_1

TMA_1

Posted
Posted

eggy goodness? you horrible, horrible person... tisk tisk ;) I liked newt! lol

(shoots a lasgun at one of the shields, disrupting the entire lot. HA!) lol that was dumb

anyways, the horrible truth is you are right dust, which is why I do not like the republican party. Still though if you are somehow inferring that the democrats are better, then you are nuts.lol

GUNWOUNDS

GUNWOUNDS

Posted
Posted

Lewis black said it best when he said

Democrats suck... Republicans blow

Democratic party is the party of no ideas... and the Republican party is the party of bad ideas...

Each are good in some way and each are bad in some way ... but i think most people choose a party NOT on pure agreement with total policy but  rather they choose a party by NOT choosing the one which has a glaring disagreement with them.

For instance if you are against abortion you probably wont be a Democrat or vote for one no matter what their other policies are (just a hypothetical example)

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