Children's Right?

[Dude_Doc]

Okey, first of all, it is good that children do have some rights, like not getting beaten, or forced to do certain things like working instead of playing with their friends.

But, is it right that these laws suddenly are highened to a place where we no longer can control our children? Then what if the childen themselves stat to make stupid or dangerous things? Like taking drugs or drinking alcohol? Should they then be punished?

That is the problem in my country today. How can we teach a child if he or she doesn't know what is right or wrong? If the "law" don't permit us to stop the childen from doing wrong?

[alchemi2]

That the trouble with social laws its made to protect but goes over board children in my view as with adults need boundarys. I have ruless on their behavior and on mine. 1) talk and explain

2) warn and explain

3) enforce and explain

4) smack backside and explain

Kids need consistance and cant be ok to something one day and wrong the next cause your tired or in a bad mood.

laws to protect kid from abuse are fine but stopping a smack on the bottems is just ridiculous and sends the wrong message. responisbility comes at a price and kids need to be taught responsibility for the actions. all actions have consequences.

some idioyt left wing in this country just suggested that to keep young offenders from reoffending we sould pay them 20k for staying out of trouble, thats really sending the right message to all the kids aint it.

Want money commit crime,get caught dont commit another get 20k cool lets go commit some crime. its enough to make you cry. >:(

[Alia Atreides]

What is even more troublesome is when you try and discipline your 8 year-old and have her tell you she will tell her teacher you hit her or something. I have seen this done.

Poltical Correctness has become in some instances poltically retarded.

[Dude_Doc]

I just have a feeling of that they are somehow teaching children to spy on their parents, like the Nazis did...

[Andrew]

You should be able to punish your child like back in the days. That taught them to not do it again, and if they did, they knew they would get it again and worse. But nooo...you cant touch you child, nor can anyone else, therefore they have no respect for anyone older, in an authoritarian position. Your just gonna end up nagging them and they will stop listening to you and not beleive what you say is true.

[Egeides]

Andrew, there are also other ways, and it is often in the most autoritarian cases that children suddenly deny all what you did when they get teenagers. I guess there's a middle position.

[Nyarlathotep]

As being a parent myself, I'll never hit my kid. No mater what she does. If someone else does, he/she might make sure that their will has been written, cause they won't have a chance when I'm done with them..

[Andrew]

Physically abusing a person is wrong nowadays, but discipline is a must, if you let them get away with anything, they will repeat it again.

[Nyarlathotep]

discipline is a must, if you let them get away with anything, they will repeat it again.

I didn't say I let her get away with things. I just don't hit her when she does something wrong..

[Dante]

i'm not a parent, but I am parented. And I think that my mother was perfectly within her rights to hit me if I did something wrong. Which is probably why I think the parent should have final say over what's good for the child unless under special circumstances. Such as a particularly bright child with the mentality of an adult.

[Andrew]

Of course no one should hit their child, but it seems to me that nowadays people don't seem to be dicsiplining their kids any. Being too strict on a child as in not letting them do stuff can be bad for them, becuase when they are out of their parents reach they will go and do a bunch of bad stuff like alcohol/smoking. If your parents were to not really "care" whether you smoked and drank, you may figure out on your own that it is pointless. (without having to hide it from your parents)

:-

Whatever happened to the ruler/spoon(?) in the classroom? I think I just barely missed it in grade 1 or 2 (as I was in another school). But now that is the past and no one uses it.

[Dante]

Ruler/spoon?

[Andrew]

You never heard of the teachers using the ruler on you when you were bad? the strikes against the palm of the hand? I never had it done to me, but I heard someone used it once, which was an older woman teacher, probably set in her old ways. I am not sure though, as I am too young too remember well enough.

[Acriku]

Well, many parents abuse their presently-legal methods of controlling their children, and I'm sure child's care and services department had something to do with the closer look at making spanking or other physical treatment illegal, but whether or not this is due to a rise in such treatments or cases or this is due to a change in values is unknown, atleast to me (or perhaps a consequence of more moms necessarily becoming working moms and thus lack of family values being taught as frequently?).

[nemafakei]

Disciplinary measures must be enacted, lest the child fail to behave.

However, servere corporal punishment (that is, leaving scars, bruises, or similar marks) should be reserved for serious criminal behaviour, mostly for adults.

[Dude_Doc]

I am worried because I fear of how the world will look like one day when I maybe am a parent myself. Sometimes, there is this 16-syndrome, I think they mentioned it in the movie "The Rock". Just like Cage said there "Hi, I'm 16, and I'm mad at my parents"-kind of thing. And then, once the parents are gone and you're living on a child-care institution, then you'll miss them and wished you were not mad at them etc.

I do see it as a problem because how can the government implent rules for children who don't know what's right and what's wrong. Maybe the child don't want to eat, say, pasta pepperoni, but it is necessary for his survival etc, should he then go and turn the parents over to the authorities? What do they know about this specific family etc?

(I'm sorry if this is a little 'off'-example.)

[Nyarlathotep]

Andrew, if a teacher would use a ruler on my daughter, he'd better be sure his/her will is written. I will not tolerate any adult hitting my kid ever.

You guys make to much of a fuzz about this issue. It's very simple. You can teach your kid right and wrong without anything physical. I'm a parent myself and am speaking out of experience. I've never hit my kid, yet she knows what's right and wrong. Of course she doesn't always listen well, that's what kids tend to do. They push the parent to see how far they can go. That doesn't mean that if they go to far you need to hit them to teach them that they wen't to far.

There are many ways to teach your kid that they went to far.

[Alia Atreides]

You never heard of the teachers using the ruler on you when you were bad? the strikes against the palm of the hand? I never had it done to me, but I heard someone used it once, which was an older woman teacher, probably set in her old ways. I am not sure though, as I am too young too remember well enough.

There are plenty of ways to punish a child without hitting them. Take away thier allowance, TV, Phone and computer, video games. You name it .. the trouble with kids today is they have nothing to work for they just get it when I was small I had an allowance if I wanted something out of the ordinary I had to save my allowance to get it. Today its buy me, give me and get me.

[nemafakei]

"Take away thier allowance, TV, Phone and computer, video games."

That works when their eight and above. But before they are introduced to the concept of 'allowance' or pocket money, before they watch television or use computers or games, what then?

[Nyarlathotep]

"Take away thier allowance, TV, Phone and computer, video games."

That works when their eight and above. But before they are introduced to the concept of 'allowance' or pocket money, before they watch television or use computers or games, what then?

You mean the age below 8 ? My daughter hasn't reached 8 yet and I don't need to use my hands to make her listen.

[Andrew]

I think he means how do you keep em in line without any abuse. (although at first I thought he meant abuse.)

Maybe a little coercion ;)

[Alia Atreides]

"Take away thier allowance, TV, Phone and computer, video games."

That works when their eight and above. But before they are introduced to the concept of 'allowance' or pocket money, before they watch television or use computers or games, what then?

You mean the age below 8 ? My daughter hasn't reached 8 yet and I don't need to use my hands to make her listen.

Send them to thier room it worked for me. I never did understand of the point of putting me in a corner though.

[Andrew]

The sad thing is some kids nowadays have a t.v., computer and such other entertainment items, that sending a kid to their room is not a real punishment. ::)

[joke](I'd send them eithor to the attic, or unfinished basment ;)) [/joke]

[Alia Atreides]

I did too my mother used to unplug them and take them with her... she would hear if I dared turned on the computer and then I would be punished longer.. ;D

[Nyarlathotep]

I sent my daughter to her room if she doesn't listen. Usually she'll start kicking and screaming. I just keep my mouth shut, close the door and walk away. 5 mins later I will go up again and I am able to reasonably talk to her. She then says sorry to me and my GF and all is forgotten. Usually she doesn't do the thing she did wrong anymore.

A problem of todays world may be the fact that everyone is pretty busy. If the dad works during the week and has had a bad day, there is a part of me that understands that you may want to hit your kid if he/she does something bad/wrong. How ever, I think a parent should stop themselfs from doing that. A kid doesn't understand stress yet, they do not know you had a bad day at work. IMO hitting your child will only increase the possibility of your child turning more and more against you.

Just look at yourself, were you always a good kid and never did anything worng ? Of course not. Would there have been any difference in the way you did things if your parents had hit you, instead of sending you to your room/take away your allowence/what ever punishment ? I don't think so...