FED2K RPG 3

[The_Sadukar]

Yes it's back, and here's the rules:

You can chose between being a warrior, theif or mage at the beging, after you third quest you can chose to become a dual class, i.e. a battlemage (warrior+mage).

that's it, you most like know what the idea is. Now let that which once was be again

[The_Sadukar]

In the FED2K capitol Gob's men have been hanging up notices saying "Who ever can slay the horrible ogre Nav will get 10.000 gold"

Later that day Gob's men when about and hung up some new notices saying "Oh wait don't kill Nav just capture him"

[Dante]

I was in both of the predecessors to this thread... Don't I get to keep my Level three Sorcerer status?

Nonetheless, the ghost of Dust Scout the sorcerer is hanging around, waiting for someone to take him to help hunt the evil Nav-ogre.

[Jack Leaf]

Jack Leaf the thief comes from the tavern. And runs away in fear when he sees Dust Scout's ghost.

Two hours later he comes back and says: "Yarr, ghost! Up to ogre hunting?"

[Dante]

The two agree, and instead of just waiting around for someone else to turn up, they go around the FED2K capital writing underneath all those posters:

'Ok, we're ready. Where do we start and what do we get for it?'

[The_Sadukar]

No Dustie, you are now a level one wizard.

One of Gob's men track down Dust Scout and mr. Leaf and hands them a letter saying

The payment is 10.000 gold coins, and Nav was last seen in the Emperor county, find him and brig him back, but if neccesary kill him.

HRH

Gob

[Jack Leaf]

"Then we shall go there!" Leaf shouts.

When marching to the Emperor country Dune 2000 fanatics pelts these two adventurers with stones.

Finally they arrive Emperor.

"I suggest we enter House Atreides first."

[Dante]

Sorcerer, not wizard.

"I wonder why they're pelting me..." The ghost of Dust Scout wonders as he drips ecotoplasm. "I played Dune 2000. And it's not like anything they can do is hitting me..."

"Ahem!"

"Oh, yes. What did you say?"

"House Atreides." Jack Leaf repeated.

"Oh, very well. I hope you're good at avoiding mongeese. They're really annoying."

"Mongeese?"

"Yep."

[Jack Leaf]

"You first." Jack Leaf says.

"Why me?" Dust Scout answered.

"Because... erm.. uh... Okay, let's go."

The two enter the massive palace of House Atreides. Instantly thousands of mongooses rush towards them.

"I thought you meant mongeeses, not mongooses." Leaf says.

"Maybe they have not enough money to build robots."

Leaf uncovered his dagger. Dust Scout tried to cast a spell, but everything he could do was casting happy elves. Suddenly they heard evil laugh.

"It's Nav!" The mongooses said and ran away.

[Dante]

"Funny, I was expecting him to hang around outside since none of the Houses like him much..." The ghost of Dust Scout comments, squishing an elf. The floor shudders...

"Aaaiiiieeeeee!" The elves and [plural of mongoose] dash away as from behind an Atreides Hanger emerges a foot...

"It's Nav!" Jack Leaf states the obvious, drawing his other dagger. The ghost of Dust Scout turns invisible. But nothing disguises both gasps as it emerges!

Wreathed in flames ( ;)) and babbling strains of hypocracy, the dark figure shuffles out into the open space of the inner palace.

"The obsolete passages of bible!" Shouts Jack Leaf at the sheaf of chewed papers in one hand.

"The foul mouth!" Dust Scout yells as a profanity attack sweeps past him. He makes to cast a spell...

"Look out!" Jack Leaf shouts, and Dust Scout ducks just in time as a vast glob of spam whizzes past where his head was.

"But it won't effect me!" He calls to Jack Leaf.

"That's special Nav-spam!" The thief replies. "It can hit and instantly annoy anything and anyone!"

The ogre lurches forward...

[Jack Leaf]

"Oh, you, newbie Jack Leaf and Anti-Nav Dust Scout. You can't defeat me!" The ogre says.

"You... you have not seen our special weapon!" Leaf says.

"What it is?" Nav asks.

"RUN!" Leaf shouts.

"But I have got no legs!" Dust Scout shouts back.

When Dust Scout was still trying to think how to run, our fearless adventurer Jack Leaf stumbled over carpet.

"OMGLOL NOOB!" Nav shouted and laughed.

"Time for Sampsa Lehti spam©..." The thief said quietly.

Suddenly 356 sheets of papers fell down straight towards Nav. The ogre fell, and fall asleep.

Dust scout catched one paper.

"Your covers can't lie to me, your beauty tells who you are." It read.

"What the *beep* is this?" Dust Scout asks from Leaf.

"It's my own special spam."

Suddenly Nav wakes up.

"Dust Scout, do you know where Nav eating bacter is?" Leaf says.

[Dante]

"We're just supposed to capture him, remember?" Dust Scout points out. "While he's still groggy..." The spirit floats over to the flaming Nav-ogre, and drifts into his head.

"My word!" The Nav-ogre shouts, "I had no idea it was so spacious in here!"

"Is that you Dust Scout?" Jack Leaf asks, edging back, daggers drawn.

"Of course it's me. You know, possessing the ogre isn't nearly as difficult as I thought it would- NOOB! -be. Did I just say that?"

"Yes." Jack Leaf says.

"Oh screwballs. Quick! We've got to get out of here! Keeping the ogre under control is turning my mind to mush!"

[Jack Leaf]

Jack Leaf started to calculate his money.

"What are you doing? You are wasting our time!" Dust Scout screams.

"No, I am not. Aww crap! Only 650 solaris! We can't buy Atreides advanced carryal!"

"Then I will cast teleport spell."

"Are you sure that it works?"

"No."

Dust Scout managed to cast small teleport and they went to it. When in the town, Dust Scout plunged out of Nav's body. It started instantly to whack houses. Suddenly these both adventurers, ghost and thief could hear shotgun shot. Big yeti with cowboy clothes came from the back street.

"I am Gobalopper. I came here to chew bubble gum. Nav, your threads are dungeonized. The game ends now."

[Dante]

Screaming, the Nav-ogre is hauled off in flame-proof chains to the dungeon of the FED2K Keep. Dust Scout and Jack Leaf watch it go, feeling a deep sense of satisfaction as they become level 2 Sorcerer and Thief respectively. They then head off to Sir Sard's mercenary guild in order to collect their reward and possibly next quest from the poster-spreader himself.

[The_Sadukar]

On the way into Sard's office Jack Leaf and Dust Scout passed a Vietnamese girl coming out of Sard’s office. As they entered however they found Sir Sard wearing, as always, his Space Wolf battle armour. Sard saw their confused expressions and said, "Ok I know what you think, but I swear on my honour, she was only bringing me my tea. Anyway I have a new quest for each of you, Mr. Scout you will capture my evil twin, the Panzer Mann, last time I heard of him he had stolen a königs tiger II from www.achtungpanzer.com he will most likely be heading towards another site about the German armed forces from WWII. Mr. Leaf you will go to PRP board and take a look at the situation there, I think a new flame war will soon being there. Upon completion there will be 5.000 gold for each of you, you can pick up your rewards from my Vietnamese secretary"

[Inoculator9]

Lol, the temptation of starting a band of Communist Modders is almost to great ;)

[Dunenewt]

Looks like fun and something for me to do so sign me up and give me a job.

Oh and you mean King Tiger didn't you?

[The_Sadukar]

well actually königs tiger II is german for king tiger II (and yes they did makje a second version of it), so yes. and if you want a quest ask either Sir Sard (at the guild hall) or his/mine vietnamese secretary

[Cyborg]

I want to be in this RPG too!

Cyborg the magician was wandering about when he bumped into the ghost of Dust Scout.

- Another magician, eh? How are you doing?

And who's the one on your side?

[The_Sadukar]

ehh Cyborg the idea is that you play as your profile,,

[Cyborg]

Sorry, I've fixed that now.

[Dante]

"Eh? Who are you?" Dust Scout's ghost asks, still wondering why the secretary's hair was all messed up.

[Jack Leaf]

"Ahem, ahem! My name's Jack Leaf. Excuse me, but do you know where the PRP board is?"

[Cyborg]

"Let me introduce myself. I am Cyborg the magician.

No, I do not know where the PRP board is, but I was just about to ask the same question to you because I'm heading the same way."

Cyborg made some gestures with his hand, but was discontended with the result. "Err, I can't see it with my wizard's eye," Cyborg said.

[Jack Leaf]

"Maybe it's so because that's the glass ball I stole yesterday."

Cyborg digs the real wizard's eye from his backpack.

"Aha. Two boards down from Fan Fiction."