Poems

[snc4113]

Well.. let's just say that was.. interesting. ??? Oh, and Apollyon, thanks for the inspiration.  ;)

[Apollyon]

I remember hearing that song years ago hehe, still brings a smile to my face.  :D

Oh and just call me Mr Inspiration... If you want to anyway... I mean Apollyon is fine...  :P

[snc4113]

I haven't posted any poems lately.. so here's my newest for your enjoyment, or critism, whatever you want.  :-

Going Home

All I ever wanted

Was to life of carefree happiness.

To be able to laugh and smile

Without sad memories floating back.

They took it all away,

Carried me far from my childhood home.

No more time to make small wrongs right;

My time has ended here.

So far away,

Away from all I love.

The people are cruel,

And know not of my past.

Now I

[Apollyon]

Good job, I like it, it's touching and creates ncie emotive images.  :)

[GhostHunter]

Yeah...I just wrote this up in about 30 seconds  ;D

I criticize

While not taking the time to empathize

All these days I wish I could fly far away

To a much different day

Days in which I see your face

Ones in which we would forget our mistakes

The days I loved you

The days I said I cherished you

The days in which I faced me fears

For the true contemplation was far from near

When it struck I could not know

I showed an ignorance thick as snow

Yet you held my tight and I was glad

For my weaknesses shone right through me

You heard my cries

The days in which I wish I died

All these aside

What did you do?

Supported me until my logical demise

Now all we have is memories

Faint hours in which we connected as one

Ones in which we held each other through our hard times

All I can do now, is talk to the shadow of who you are

My mistakes have taken a toll

Do you love me still?

Do you feel me in your breath?

Is the next this the next step?

And in these days

All I remember are the fond memories

I see a faint path tracing my thought

And as my breath grows fainter to you

Will you be there to hold me

Show me

And guide me through

[Apollyon]

Well, I restrained from replying for a while to give the impression that I really wasn't sitting on fanfic... which I'm not... honestly, but alas I could no longer resist.

Well there isn't much to say really... It's a nice poem, and you managed to write verse which is good. Some of the rhyme is highly dodgy, but I guess you know that already. There aren't many poetic features or metaphors/imagery features in the poem, as is the same in snc4113's poem, but that's a typical feature of this type of poem and your poem-writing experience. All in all, good work.  :)

[snc4113]

Ghosthunter, let  me just say, that I, being the girl I am, actually cried while reading your poem. I could tell that the person you wrote this about is very close to you, and you do not want to lose them.  Well, I'm guessing, after reading this, it is doubtful you ever will.

[Apollyon]

Lol.

It's, er, wondeful...

[GhostHunter]

Yes...uh...wonderful, what help did you need exactly?..

[drahgoon]

i have one i just have to go get my backpack...

i have it now...

sadness

sadness overcomes like a storm

anxiety is replaced by

the greif from the last couple words, that

you had writen on that paper

that rejection was like a knife

that was stabed into my soft heart.

prety good eh? i wrote it after a girl broke up with me. :'(

[Apollyon]

"prety good eh?"

Not overly really.

Angst poems are all well and good but you can get a *bit* bored of the same things over and over. I gurss it's not too bad.

[snc4113]

Hold Me Tight

A single tear falls,

Followed by two more

Overcome by grief,

They fall faster and in a vast amount.

I want to run to you,

I need you to hold me tight,

And say,

[drahgoon]

"prety good eh?"

Not overly really.

Angst poems are all well and good but you can get a *bit* bored of the same things over and over. I gurss it's not too bad.

you seriously need to work on your grammer. and that comment was sacastic

[nemafakei]

"you seriously need to work on your grammer. and that comment was sacastic"

His grammar was perfectly correct, though I would prefer a few more commas, that's more opinion than anything. There was one spelling mistake. I also reckon he's aware that it was sarcastic.

[drahgoon]

you need to work on your understanding of sarcasm

EDIT: so there!!!

[Inoculator9]

Doesn't matter whether your comment was sarcastic, Apollyon is just saying it bit :) And his grammaer was impecible.

If you care to lecture us on sarcasm, you should spell the word right :P

And another excellent poem snc :)

[nemafakei]

Hang on, did you mean that your own sentence preceding was sarcasm, or Apollyon's?

[Apollyon]

"you seriously need to work on your grammer. and that comment was sacastic "

No, no. *That* comment was ironic.

[snc4113]

Death to the Enemy

A fast death,

To those who love you.

A slow, painful death,

To those against you.

Kill the ones

That make you cry.

Torture them

Who wish you to die.

When suicide

Is all you wish,

Do not follow through

For then, the enemy has won.

Fight for you right,

To live,

To win,

To be.

There will be someone

To hold you tight,

To tell you that you are beautiful,

To beat the enemy with you, for you.

** I apologise to all of my "fans" that have missed me the last two weeks.

[Inoculator9]

Twinkie, for the love of all things holy I hope that was a joke.

Snc, another excellent production :) Bravo ;)

[Apollyon]

Yeah, like I said, nice job. :)

In the Forests of the Night.

Old and forlorn, the tired crones bayed blood across the dark.

Hungry for vision and smell they set forth to devour existence.

Travelling the iron road festooned, lights garnered from the sky;

A tunnel irridescent in its torturous twists and turns

Cried injustice at violation and deceitful lies

As the crones took for want and wasted all amok.

The mind-cat growled complicity and chased into

The woods burning bright with towering battle,

Drinking of the liquid leaves and hacking hewn the head

And baleful canopies of redwood wonder

'Till asunder sky and night and all the lights

Drawn up in spectation of earthen might.

Onwards lurched the tired old Kaladat

On whisper-thought and drunken waves

To wash against the temple-body, soul-mind shore

And strip it of its dirty flesh - cleansed to limestone,

Shining effervescent illumination in the capricious half-light

As the staggering beast considered the night and all its flourishing.

Swimming high amidst the whirlpool nebulae,

The wise archon swept and dived in lighter waters,

Whipping up a crescendo of wolves in the wind,

Tussling and barking against his long silken mane.

Vying for control over the radiant halo of light,

The pack of wolves, angel-led, escape into the night.

The gods laughed a-wonder as their brethren met:

A clash and torrent of other-worldliness,

A flood stampede of many paths

All set about for yet one task:

The night in all its wonderous visage,

Let it prosper in nature's own image.

[snc4113]

Emotions

All I want,

For just one moment of time,

Is to be able to just lay down,

And cry.

To be able to let loose,

All of the pain inside.

I want to know who I am,

And what I can be.

Everything around me

Is changing more than words can say;

I

[snc4113]

Well, its good to know that any of you other poets can comment on my shit.  But, here's another one.

Stolen Love

It has all flown away,

That feeling of love you gave.

You stole from me,

Without a care.

You mended what was broken,

And stole what did not belong to you.

But that all does not matter now,

For now I can not feel.

A great actor you are,

To that I will admit,

However you have failed,

What would have been your best gig yet.

You did not listen,

To what I had to say.

Or else you would have known,

I have no heart for you to take.

Another before you,

Did sweep me off my feet.

My love he took,

And disappeared without a trace.

So bid ado

To what we had,

For you tried to run,

[Apollyon]

Great poems again, Staci. :D

The Artificer's Horde

Flaked with grime and clinical dust, the cogs turned willfully

Beyond whithering rust. In severed serendipity they worked,

Deep below, in earthen bowels and lurked ever watching, ever reaching

For the machinations of mankind and teaching the smaller whirring instruments

Of creation to sing new lines in their harmony of learning and prevent

Stagnation of the oilpool genepool with procreative yearning.

The grandfather clock ticked terror in tune, keeping watch

As the Artificer's Horde kept labour so soon might stand a time

That the old piece would take joy in telling - when the Old Work was done

And a task expelling might be run throughout the twists and trembles

Of the Apparatus and assemble once more the world for the workers old,

That for a time untold have laboured ever more beneath the filth and the mould.

[snc4113]

Beautiful job, as always. ;)  Here is my poem to one of my good friends when she was havin a bad day. 

Discovery

Please give us a chance,

To discover who we are.

We know these time are hard on you,

But they hurt us too.

All we want,

Is a bit of time,

To be able to learn,

More about ourselves.

You want us to be,

Something we