why drink

[nampigai]

WHY DRINK...

In one episode of 'Cheers', Cliff is seated at the bar describing the

Buffalo Theory to his buddy, Norm. (I don't think I've ever heard the

concept explained any better than this....)

"Well, you see, Norm, it's like this... A herd of buffalo can only move

as fast as the slowest buffalo. And when the herd is hunted, it is the

slowest and weakest ones at the back that are killed first. This natural

selection is good for the herd as a whole, because the general speed and

health of the whole group keeps improving by the regular killing of the

weakest member.

In much the same way, the human brain can only operate as fast as the

slowest brain cells. Now, as we know, excessive intake of alcohol kills

brain cells. But naturally, it attacks the slowest and weakest brain

cells first. In this way, regular consumpti on of beer eliminates the

weaker brain cells, making the brain a faster and more efficient

machine. And that, Norm, that is why you always feel smarter after a few

beers."

[Anathema]

I recall seeing this earlier on this board...

[emprworm]

well i never saw it before and i found it interesting.

reminds me of a joke:

Two lawyers were out walking in the woods (don't ask me why!) and suddenly a bear approaches them. One of the lawers opens his brief case and pulls out a pair of Nike tennis shoes (made in China by children) and starts to put them on. As he is tying his laces, the other lawer says

"Hey, are you crazy? You can't outrun this bear!"

"I don't have to," the one lawyer says, "I only need to outrun you."

[quoudam72]

That could have been funnier if you did not put the statememt about Chinese children in there. I do not agree with sweat shops I Asia but I am quite sure you have a pair of Nikes somewhere yourself. ;)

Don was excited to go bear hunting. He spotted a small brown bear in the woods and shot it. All of a sudden, he felt a tap on his shoulder. He turned around to see a big black bear. The black bear said, "Don, you've got two choices: Either I maul you to death or we have sex." Don decided to bend over.

Even though he felt sore for two weeks, Don soon recovered and vowed revenge. He headed out on another trip, where he found the black bear and shot it.

There was another tap on his shoulder. This time a huge grizzly bear was standing right next to him. The grizzly said, "That was a huge mistake Don. Now you've got two choices: Either I maul you to death, or we have rough sex."

Again, Don thought it was better to comply. Although he survived, it took several months before Don finally recovered. Outraged, he headed back to the woods, managed to track down the grizzly and shot it. He felt the sweet taste of revenge.

But then there was a tap on his shoulder. Don turned around to find a giant polar bear standing there. The polar bear said, "Admit it Don, you don't really come here for the hunting, do you?"

[nampigai]

hehe good ones, I gotta think about another one

[Anathema]

Three mothers talk over tea what their sons have acomplished.

Mother #1 begins talking.

"My son is a well known doctor. He owns a nice house and posseses a red Porsche."

Mother #2 begins talking.

"My son is a famous lawyer. He owns a huge house and a white Mercedes.

Then, both #1 and #2 look at mother #3. She begins talking.

"Well, my son doesn't talk much about himself and I don't know exactly what he's doing. The other day he told me he was gay, but he must be pretty succesful too. A week ago a red Porsche stould in front of his door, and yesterday a white Mercedes."

[Dunenewt]

lol these are great ;D

[Acriku]

Hehe namp, that joke will make a brain surgeon go mad with those bad facts, but funny nonetheless :D

[slaphapy]

LLLLOOOOOLLLL!!!!

ROFL

that bear one is halarious

"Admit it Don, you don't really come here for the hunting, do you?"

i still can't stop laughing

i heard a joke just like the lawyer one before, but it's still funny

[Colonel_Worf]

^ That is one hideous smily. :P

[emprworm]

i hate that ugly smiley. lol i've used b4 on these forums though! hehe :D