really makes you think...

[rogue1896]

some ppl may have seen this already. i just got it in a e-mail. it's pretty funny. if you're not from America, you may not get some of the first jokes.

1. Only in America......can a pizza get to

your house faster than an ambulance.

>2. Only in America.......are there

handicap parking places in front of a

skating rink.

>3. Only in America.......do drugstores

make the sick walk all the way to the

back of the store to get their

prescriptions while healthy people can buy

cigarettes at the front.

>4. Only in America......do people order

double cheeseburgers, large fries,

and a diet coke.

>5. Only in America......do banks leave

both doors open and then chain the

pens to the counters.

>6. Only in America......do we leave cars

worth thousands of dollars in the

driveway and put our useless junk in the

garage.

>7. Only in America......do we use

answering machines to screen calls and

then have call waiting so we won't miss a

call from someone we didn't want

to talk to in the first place.

>8. Only in America......do we buy hot

dogs in packages of ten and buns in

packages of eight.

>9. Only in America......do we use the

word 'politics' to describe the process so well: 'Poli' in Latin meaning 'many' and

'tics' meaning 'bloodsucking creatures'.

>10. Only in America.......do they have

drive-up ATM machines with Braille

lettering.

EVER WONDER

>Why the sun lightens our hair, but

darkens our skin?

>Why women can't put on mascara with their mouth closed?

>Why don't you ever see the headline

"Psychic Wins Lottery"?

>Why is "abbreviated" such a long word?

>Why is it that doctors call what they do

"practice"?

>Why is it that to stop Windows 98, you

have to click on "Start"?

>Why is lemon juice made with artificial

flavor, and dishwashing liquid made

with real lemons?

>Why is the man who invests all your money called a broker?

>Why is the time of day with the slowest

traffic called rush hour?

>Why isn't there mouse-flavored cat food?

>When dog food is new and improved

tasting, who tests it?

>Why didn't Noah swat those two

mosquitoes?

>You know that indestructible black box

that is used on airplanes? Why don't

they make the whole plane out of that

stuff?!

>Why don't sheep shrink when it rains?

>Why are they called apartments when

they are all stuck together?

>If con is the opposite of pro, is

Congress the opposite of progress?

[VigilVirus]

I can answer some of those latter questions:

Hair gets lighter instead of darker, because only skin can regulate the amount of melatin it produces. In hair - the pigment is destroyed.

Cats don't like cat meat better than normal meat - they just like to hunt them.

Black box is not indestructable.

Apartments - they are divided by walls from each other.

[ethan]

i just read it for the first time, but my mom says this is over a year old. pretty fun stuff tho ;D

[rogue1896]

you're not actually suppose to answer them vig. lol. your just supposed to read and laugh, read and laugh. hehe. but this is the first i've seen it. it could very likely be over a year old tho. i just thought it was funny and i decided to share it with you all. maybe it'll brighten your day a bit.

[VigilVirus]

I especially like the politics and the Congress. Hehe. Very true, both of them.

[Acriku]

Yep, hehe :D Don't dogs test dogmeat? ::)

[ethan]

my dad made me test dog bacon, it was nasty. i used to eat dog food.

[rogue1896]

my favorite was the one about politics being a bunch of bloodsucking parasites. lol

and ethan, i feel sorry for you. ACK

[VigilVirus]

Mmmmm.... Dog food.

[ethan]

Mmmmm.... Dog food.

hey that stuffs good!

[VigilVirus]

There is nothing better than to open up a fresh can of dog food and get on WOL. It helps you concentrate on the game and is fingerlickingly good. Mmmm... delicious. No one is eating it because it is a delicacy. Only dogs are allowed to eat it, but we will never get as high-classed as them.

[rogue1896]

*slowly shakes head from side to side and moves on to another thread* ;)

[ethan]

dry dog food is good too.

[rogue1896]

*sits back and watches about how his funny post here is turning into a discussion on the delicasies of dog food*

[ordos45]

I was lucky enough to take a trip out to the Midwestern United States recently, and I found some funny things that could only happen in America along the way:

On the wing of an airplane: Do not walk on while plane is in motion.

Person I'm visiting: "We're in Tornado Alley, tornadoes come through a lot"

Me: "You have a basement to hide in right?"

Person: "What's a basement?"

On a CD Player in a rich neighborhood where I had stuck up relatives: Do not use with extension cord in pool.

Sign in some women's dress shop I had to stand around in waiting on my Aunt I was visiting: "Sitting is for the weak, real men can hold the bags and stand."

Only in America will you find these signs inside a casino door:

"Please remember to hold all children by the hand at all times."

"Anyone under the age of 21 found within the casino will be prosecuted to the fullest extent of the law."

[ethan]

esp the casino signs. they're dumb. this guy raped a 8 year old in a casino and got life.