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The True Definition of Bitch.


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Posted

    Noun: Bitch (bich):

       1. A miserable person who sucks all joy and happiness out of life, and makes life a little less worth living by her consistently shitty attitude. When not complaining, her drama and gossip will fill the void. He or she (but usually she) refuses to do something with a group, and will forego hanging out with said group unless they're doing something she wants to do. She will put her interest ahead of others every single time, just for the sake of being a bitch. A bitch hates fun.

              "Hey guys, sorry we can't check out that cool new Brazilian restaurant, Janet is being a bitch."

       2. A status you assume when you take one in the pooper while incarcerated.

       3. What you become when you fail at pool, bowling, Quake, english, math, Street Fighter Alpha, etc.

       4. Having a thankless job where you work lots of overtime without pay while your boss is on vacation.

       5. Having to sit in the middle seat between two people in a car or plane.

       6. Being last in line to get cake or ice cream at a party.

       7. Crying and throwing a tantrum about something nobody gives a shit about, including you.

              "I'm not going to give you $6 for my share of an $11 pizza when all I owe you is $5.50. I shouldn't have to pay extra, waaaaaah!"

       8. Having a high opinion of your looks and a sense of entitlement when people compliment you. Your ego is usually punctuated with a "hottie" shirt, which makes you slightly less tolerable to be around than children, and slightly more tolerable to be around than a saucer of goat cum.

Feel free to add to the list.

Posted

Whee. Because the day just isn't complete without some new passive aggressive bile spread across the interwebs. Even if it is rendered somewhat ridiculous by the censor.

The word is bitch. Let me add to the list:

9: To complain, often needlessly and at length, about something that one finds personally offensive but which other people really don't care about at all.

Kudos to those who note the irony without calling it hypocrisy.

(Has the website changed at all recently, or is it just my monitor? My old colouring in the text doesn't show up as well as it used to)

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