Age Gap Question

[SpiceGuid]

In my opinion love is more a question of being constant or being moody than a question of (age) difference.

Are you constant enough?

Is he constant enough?

That's what matters, no relation is better than a precarious relation.

Practically, if you are 22-16 i would say chances are low that you are both constant enough. When you are young the risk is greater, fortunately consequences are smaller. Just estimate yours and his constancy and accept the relation if high enough level.

[Chani]

the guy from a few months back hurt me. i find this is a pretty consistent thing that happens to me. i like someone, they *seem* to like me, they meet someone else they like more, they go out with the new person, i remain friends and voila! i have another friend, but no relationship.

i'm not one of those girls who is despersate for a relationship though, so that's not bad, btu i did like that guy quite a bit and he was quite sh**ty to me.

so.. yea.. that should answer that question Nema :)

and thanks for the advice everyone, i've read it all and taken it in and i still am unsure what i'm doing but you have all helped me make it a bit clearer in my head. appeciated. x

[nemafakei]

Precisely, SpiceGuid! I was trying to find a word like constant! THAT is the fundamental consideration.

[Chani]

What do you mean by "constant"?

[Dunenewt]

At my age, 15, I don't go any further than one year either way.

[SpiceGuid]

What do you mean by "constant"?

At least i can list what is not a constant attitude:

* you have poor self-confidence. then you are not constant because a relationship is not to reassure you

* your love and attraction is driven by enthousiasm rather than by affection and complicity. then you are not constant because enthousiasm can't be sustained very long

* you expect more, more attractive, more popular or more money. then you are not constant because others will exhibit more and reveal your dissatisfaction

First you have to question your own constancy.

Then if you feel constant you have to question the constancy of your (possible) partner.

If you estimate both are constant then the relationship has great chances.

[nemafakei]

Constant...

You must have known someone for a long time. I mean more than six months, preferably over a year. When you're sure you know them, and only then may you allow considerations of anything other than friendship develop, and only if you're sure you trust this person, and if you trust your feelings to remain unchanged. Before initiating anything, asl yourself, if you know someone wholly, if you agree with (or can comfortably tolerate) the way they live, what they believe, and so on - ask yourself if you will be able to do this for the rest of your life. For decades. You must be sure you can, lest there is not enough stability or constancy in the relationship. Once you're committed, there should be no regression on previous agreement.

[Acriku]

I'd argue that an age gap can infer a maturity difference, if one looks at the early years (15-20) and the later years (30-45), as well as many other differences given later. This is why it becomes more noticeable, the lower the age gap starts at. The maturity gap is where more factors become involved. There can be innocence involved, naivety, ignorance, being taken advantage of, not knowing the consequences, and immaturity towards romanticism, sex, relationships, and many more. These are some of the reasons why there are limits of age to be able to be involved with an adult (18+) sexually.

[SpiceGuid]

These are some of the reasons why there are limits of age to be able to be involved with an adult (18+) sexually.

In France sexual majority is 15+.

Only to marry you have to be 18+ (or have parental agreement).

[alchemi2]

Personally i dont think age is that relevant so long as your both over 21. generally speaking thats when you've had some life experience and understand more about life etc.

20 year old guy/girl goes out with 10 year old guy/girl no matter how mature PERVERT.

50 year old guy/girl goes out with 25year old guy/girl jammy bleeders.

Trouble for u chani guy is only 16yrs old. under age for sex but even if u just want relationship without till later how you know he going out with you for you and not just prestioge of pulling older woman favorite schoolboy fantasy.

End of day upto you follow your heart but listen to your head.

[Terror]

i too must agree, that i think that 16 is just a little too young for you, well.. eventually he'll still be at school and you already have a job, and perhaps an own house :-.

[Apollyon]

Trouble for u chani guy is only 16yrs old. under age for sex

No. The legal age is 16 and above here.

[nemafakei]

More's the pity.

[alchemi2]

Yes sorry can have sex legally at 16 yrs old but i wasn't refering to legally. :-[

Morally should be married but no preaching. ;D

What I was trying to say was I think chani is on dangerous ground emotionally as she can never be sure that the relationship is on mutual ground. Often young men go out with older women for the prestige attached to this conquest and the sex associated (whether real or not) with that but eventually move on to someone their owwwwwn age for a stable long term realationship.

my point is general not specific and plenty of people do have long term happy relationships dispite age gap. All im saying is chani should be sure its want she wants and not just a bit of infatuation cause otherwise in the long term it will be her that suffers the most in any break up. :'(