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Dragoon Knight

Life, the Universe & Everything: Fenceposts at Dawn

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Misunderstanding is what I do best!

It must be due to the fact that I clearly can't read, because despite all the rebukes and carefully worded replies telling me that my ID rhetoric is so much arrogance and nonsense, I still claim that there is no plausible way that the Universe could exist without God!

NEVER MIND that I'm now completely contradicting my earlier point about ID and naturalism being equally valid.

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So you accept that you're... oh no.  It's not tongue-in-cheek.  You actually really believe this.

What have I done.

WHAT HAVE I DONE?!

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Fear not the illuminating light of realisation! I often have this affect on people.

I judge my posts to be the bestest posts evar on the topic of creatio- I mean ID, after all. It's only natural that my carefully balanced proposals and completely rational replies would make you reconsider your entire outlook on life.

Go ahead, buy some books on ID. I'll wait.

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Careful, now! Any lower and I'd have insisted you buy me a drink.

But enough of this. I have planted SEEDS O' WISDOM in the minds of those who have read this. I will forever be remembered as "That Wondrous Person Who Done Made Us See The Light". You have no idea how big my ego is. MY WORK HERE IS DONE, I NOW RETURN TO THE KINGDOM OF HEAVEN.

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SCIENCE!

*Lies on his back in the shower, with a copy of A Brief History of Time resting on his face*

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I know, I could barely keep a straight face.

Take this bloody thing back; destroy it!

*Throws hat back through portal*

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*Waits for hat*

If only it were that simple.  It's not even a case of taking it to the equivalent of Mount Doom and casting it into the fire.  It can only be destroyed when worn by someone, and defeated from within by the power of logic.  Sadly, the Stupid hat makes people immune to logic.

*Keeps waiting for hat*

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You'd think it'd be getting weaker now. Sure, it had a dozen or so centuries living it large in the sweet bliss of ignorance. But science has already struck what should be fatal blows. One gets the feeling that all this malarky about "Science can't prove the origins of life!" is a bit moot, considering that their reasoning for just about everything is so thin, you can see your hand through it.

Has that damned hat appeared at your end yet?

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Worryingly, no.  I'm all for it being stuck in a dimensionless limbo for the rest of eternity, but imagine what would happen if it popped out in the White House again?  No-one wants another eight years of that sort of bullshit.  I'm going in for a closer look.

*Sticks head in portal*

...There's a Wolf in here.  It looks like it's trying to tell me something.  Rotating one paw on a vertical plane around his right ear.  Can't imagine what he means.

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*Unmistakable sound of a hat landing on someone's head*

Ipso facto, ergo, vis a vis.  Look at my big words as I pretend to understand them.

LOOK AT THEM.

Now marvel as I quote one scientist who has failed to explain how something so complex as the formation of life happened!  Granted this was because he was talking about something completely different, but I'm not going to mention that.  Wait.  Crap.

...

Watch as I use my limitless intelligence (read: the intelligence of others) to explain away how life CANNOT have formed without God!

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You're not making any sense!  Do try and use coherent, logical, mature statements - like this one, for instance!

NEVER MIND that we didn't even KNOW about DNA not that long ago; it is clearly IMPOSSIBLE that there could be other, more detailed scientific explanations to come that will adequately explain the origin of life.  They're all going to get shot down, one after another!  No exceptions!  No further progress at all!

BECAUSE I CAN SEE THE FUTURE.

All these petty attempts at trying to make sense of things are nonsense!  Next thing you'll be telling me that man will fly one day!  HA!  God didn't give us wings!  Of course, I welcome ALL FURTHER "DEVELOPMENTS", since I can then laugh at them, too!

HAHAHA!  Oh GOD my high horse needs stilts.

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I can't stand it. The only solution is to fight fire with fire.

Yes. I shall create a hat of my own! It shall be called The Hat of Perfectly Logical Thought!

Until then, I must do what I can to defend the name of logical thought against the ceaseless attacks of idiocy.

*Ahem*. SHUT UP. No-one is listening to you anymore. You're like Wormtongue, about to be kicked down the steps of Edoras; your whispers have no effect. You're like an exhibit at a feakshow, babbling away to yourself but observed only as a source of amusement to the people you used to think of as peers.

You try to distract people from the fact that your own arguments are so much fetid, congealed bile and vomit by attempting to poke holes in the ever-changing, ever-evolving (excuse the pun) world of science. After all, it's far better to believe something wrong forever than to change your beliefs! For all your posturing and big words, your argument boils down to:

"If science can't prove it, then God must be the answer!"

That's just the very tip of the iceberg, though. Because when you really get down to it, your entire premise is a tottering edifice of lies, murder, oppression, coercion and more lies with no credible evidence to back up its vast underwater bulk of ridiculous, outdated superstition and hocus-pocus. Just because you've dressed it up in a white coat does not make it a sensible idea.

In a world that deals in tangible, provable and intelligible things, your claptrap blabberings have no place. So I reiterate: SHUT.  UP.

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I can't stand it. The only solution is to fight fire with fire.

Yes. I shall create a hat of my own! It shall be called The Hat of Perfectly Logical Thought!

Until then, I must do what I can to defend the name of logical thought against the ceaseless attacks of idiocy.

*Ahem*. SHUT UP. No-one is listening to you anymore. You're like Wormtongue, about to be kicked down the steps of Edoras; your whispers have no effect. You're like an exhibit at a feakshow, babbling away to yourself but observed only as a source of amusement to the people you used to think of as peers.

You try to distract people from the fact that your own arguments are so much fetid, congealed bile and vomit by attempting to poke holes in the ever-changing, ever-evolving (excuse the pun) world of science. After all, it's far better to believe something wrong forever than to change your beliefs! For all your posturing and big words, your argument boils down to:

"If science can't prove it, then God must be the answer!"

That's just the very tip of the iceberg, though. Because when you really get down to it, your entire premise is a tottering edifice of lies, murder, oppression, coercion and more lies with absolutely no credible evidence to back up its vast underwater bulk of ridiculous, outdated superstition and hocus-pocus. Just because you've dressed it up in a white coat does not make it a sensible idea.

In a world that deals in tangible, provable and intelligible things, your claptrap blabberings have no place. So I re-iterate: SHUT.  UP.

All wrong!  But I'm not going to back this claim up with anything, I'm just going to assure you that I know exactly what I'm talking about, and so do you.

And I know you know I know what I'm talking about.

And YOU know I know that you know I know what I'm talking about.  BUT I DIGRESS.

If scientific theories A through X can't prove Y, but GOD IS Z AND CAN TOTALLY LOGICALLY PROVE Y, then Z is clearly superior.  PRAISE BE TO JESUS.

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Y'know, a nicer person might throw you a ladder. Tell you to stop digging; climb out of the hole. Leave it at that, move on, never mention the whole embarassing thing again.

But I'm not that person. Keep going. I hear if you go far enough, you'll reach China. It'll be terribly amusing for us all.

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