Hilarious bulletin from Myspace

[TMA_1]

this has to be the funniest bulletin I have ever seen. A friend of a friend started it and it really cracked me up. here it is...

Chuck Norris Unknown Facts (add your own?)

Body: *Chuck Norris' blood type is KO.

*Chuck Norris does not sleep. He waits.

*Chuck Norris does not hunt because the word hunting infers the probability of failure. Chuck Norris goes killing.

*Chuck Norris was going to spend a relaxing day watching television when one of those commercials for Trix cereal came on. *Angered by what he saw, Chuck Norris spent the rest of his, what was supposed to be a relaxing day, punching every child he came across. He would then shout at them, Trix are for Chuck Norris.

*Chuck Norris won 3 Grammy Awards for the sound of his foot making contact with someone's face.

*Chuck Norris has already been to Mars; that's why there are no signs of life there.

*Chuck Norris counted to infinity - twice.

*When the Boogeyman goes to sleep every night he checks his closet for Chuck Norris.

*Achilles was supposedly the greatest warrior of all time, but he died because of his weak spot, the Achilles tendon. There is no Chuck Norris tendon.

*Chuck Norris doesn't apologize. He just stares at them till they realize it was indeed their own freakin fault for whatever happened and they apologize.

*Chuck Norris built a time machine and went back in time to stop the JFK assassination. As Oswald shot, Chuck met all three bullets with his beard, deflecting them. JFK's head exploded out of sheer amazement.

*Chuck Norris can touch MC Hammer.

*Chuck Norris has a word for a person he puts into a coma; that word is "lucky".

*Chuck Norris ordered a Big Mac at Burger King, and got one.

*A blind man once stepped on Chuck Norris' shoe. Chuck replied, "Don't you know who I am? I'm Chuck Norris!" The mere mention of his name cured this man blindness. Sadly the first, last, and only thing this man ever saw, was a fatal roundhouse delivered by Chuck Norris.

*Chuck Norris sleeps with a night light. Not because Chuck Norris is afraid of the dark, but the dark is afraid of Chuck Norris

*As a teen Chuck Norris impregnated every nun in a convent tucked away in the hills of Tuscany. Nine months later the nuns gave birth to the 1972 Miami Dolphins, the only undefeated and untied team in professional football history.

*They once made a Chuck Norris toilet paper, but it wouldn't take sh*t from anybody.

*A Handicap parking sign does not signify that this spot is for handicapped people. It is actually in fact a warning, that the spot belongs to Chuck Norris and that you will be handicapped if you park there.

*The moon does not revolve around the earth, in fact it revolves around Chuck Norris. Without Chuck, we would not have tides.

[Andrew]

Chuck norris facts has been going around for a couple weeks (at least popular for a couple weeks, been around a while).

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Chuck_Norris_Facts

http://www.boingboing.net/2006/01/18/tony_danza_reads_chu.html

http://www.boingboing.net/2006/01/10/chuck_norris_respond.html

The SNL clip from wiki link is a good watch.

[Mahdi]

Yeah, a fw weeks ago someone even made a Jack Baur version of it.

[exatreide]

Vin Diesels ones are better.

When vin Diesel does a push up, he doesnt push himself up, he pushs the earth down.

[Acriku]

The Vin Diesel ones and Jack Baur ones do not have the same charisma of Chuck Norris. Because he's such a staple of what is kick ass and take names, West and Texan style, his jokes are so much better. And, they're pretty nostalgic (whereas Vin and Jack are not).

Oh, and the Vin Diesel/Jack Baur jokes are merely rehashes of Chuck Norris'. Or the other way around. Any which way, they are better with said Norris.

Here's a top 100 of Norris jokes:

http://www.4q.cc/chuck/index.php?topthirty

[Andrew]

Chuck Norris reads top 10 facts