King Arthur Knight Vision Trivia (my running commentary)

[Mahdi]

Knight Vision is a series of trivia that pop up during the directors cut of King Arthur.  Only ten minutes in and it's history is even worse than the films itself.  Not every piece of trivia is commented on.  Here's my running commentary:

First couple comments are copied from another Arthurian messageboard:

Although the historical stuff is pretty obvious. Like "Armed soldiers on horseback are called cavalry". "80 Roman miles is about 73 modern miles, which was the length of Hadrians Wall"

Now those nice little Knight vision facts are telling me that the Woads are supposed to be Picts which really makes the whole damn movie contradictory for the Pretani noted by teh Greeks which seem to be the basis for the films Woads were not British at all, like the characters in this movie claim. They were Picts! And the "Woad" language is a combination of Scottish and old Welsh!

Oh, wow, now they told me Latin was the language of the roman empire. What a revelation!

See? This is why we need an edit option on these posts.

Now it is saying the legends about Joeseph of Aramethea in Britain are true.

Oh god, it actually claims that the Saxons did invade fromt he north!

"Some claim that Merlin was a prophet Myrddin who moved Stonehenge from Ireland to England."

Oh god....

Merlin was the name Geoffrey used for Myrddin because Myrddin was to close to Merde for his liking, and yes there is a legend of Merlin moving stonehenge from Ireland to England, but those are two completley different thoughts!  No one has ever claimed that Myrddin brought Stonehenge from Ireland to England!

An ambush is a sudden attack made forma  concealed position?  Really?  Wow, I never knew that!                                                 

Tristans tatoos were inspired by Mongolian warriors?  Wow, bet there were a lot of them serving with Sarmation Cavalry at Hadrians Wall.

Skarssgaard (or however you spell that) cape was made out of Bison hide?  Bison hide?!  Now that's authentic.

Roman soldiers produced offspring with local Britains?  Really?  And here I thought soldiers became celebate when they joined the army.

Finally they point out a mistake in the movie.  Nothing to do witht he hsitory though, oh no, couldn't have that.  Knightleys hand heald 6-8 weeks too quickly. 

Falconry is the sport of hunting with Falcons?  Yet another revelation!  Last they could have done is mentioned why Tristan has the falcon.  At least inform people on that one tiny bit of Arthurian legend.

Wow, a mention of Cretien de Troyes.  They do not, however, mention that he's the first known guy to use Lancelot.  Nooo, that would hurt their  "This is how it happened" line....

Hey, Keira Knightly and Natalie Portman look similar!  It's true, the pop-up said so!  No one ever noticed that before, not ever!

Humans sleep about 8 hours a night?  Really?  No, I refuse to believe it.

Woads were inspired by the real-life tribe of the Picts?  Well, you've already said that, and I've already pointed out a couple problems with that (the Pretani and Picts being totally different, and the Picts not being British but, um Picts) but maybe I should add that THE PICTS AND ROMANO-BRITISH WERE ENEMIES!

Ooooohhhhhhh, Bors is riding the same horse that Russell Crowe did in Gladiator.  That's kinda... well, useless trivia that might be kinda cool if you are a horse fanatic.  And all the horses were lodged with other horses fromt he same geographic area due to laws regarding horses rights?  Ireland has laws regarding horses rights?  Who'da known?

Hey, Barbarians sacked Rome in the early 5th century.  They could have said "Visigoths" and "410".  It wouldn't have taken all that much more work.

The frozen lake in this movie was actually gravel?  Well now, that actually is a cool bit of trivia.  huh.

Ancient Sarmation Cavalry invented the English longbow?  Jeez, that's a surprise (well, tehy don't really say that, but they do say that 5,000 longbows were used for the film, and only the sarmations use them).

Flag standards were used to identify people?  No!  Never!  I REFUSE TO BELIEVE IT!

What do figure skating Swedes from 3000BC have to do with this movie?

Hans Zimmer won and academy award for the Lion King, yet they still left the best song in this entire damn movie off the soundtrack!  You know, the one Bors', um, consort sings about going home.

250 years of peace in the last 3500?  What BS is this?  Where the hell could you get the information for this grand statement?  Did the production crew for this film have some sort of objective, all knowing manuscript which details every war in every continent for the past 3500 years?  Would have been smarter for them to say that there was only 1 day in all of the twentieth century during which no declared war was taking place.  That, at elast, can be verified.

Italian-Roman women had the same status as children?  True, Roman culture was very male centric, but I don't recall learning of many Italian-Roman children owning and running their own buisnesses.... 

Hadrians Wall was built by Hadrian?  What insights this is giving me!

6.4 calories per minute per passionate kiss.  Huh.  I feel like exercising, where is Tanya?

Cupid was the Roman god of love?  Not at the time this movie was set!

What, no mention of the Pendragon standard he has?  No note at all about it being there, or, (god forbid) it's meaning?  Damn pop-ups....

Roman Generals were schooled in battle?  I sure hope so!

Wow, a note which contradicts the movie!  How did they sneak that in?  'Course they don't go so far as to completley contradict the movie, jsut saying that Roman troops started pulling out of Britain in 402, not sayign they were gone in 410 when the Visigoths sacked rome, long before this movie supposedly takes place.

The final battle took place in the same field as parts of Braveheart were filmed.  Braveheart was an awesome movie.  I glorify in that movie.  I do not glorify in this movie.

A Knight is the modern Equivalant of a Sherman Tank?  I never heard that in my tenth grade history class, nope, not a once.

It was considered bad luck for a Saxon sword to be drawn and not used.  I did not know that.  That's two things out of the last two hours I found interesting....

War drums were used to intimadate enemies?  Who were these written for, 8 year olds?  You have to be 18 to buy the bloody DVD!

The origin of King Arthur is also portrayed in The Sword and the Stone.  Jeez, you'd never guess that Disney made this movie, would you?

The legendary Arthur fought twelve great battles?

No, the Legendary Arthur fought thirteen.  It's just that the thirteenth was The Battle of Camlann.  Meaning that, despite what you say mr. Kngiht Visions, Baddonw as not his final legendary battle.

The battle of Baddon Hill in the movie is based on the historical Battle of Baddon Hill?  Really?  I don't believe you.  I really don't.  It may share the same name, but other thn that....

Shields are both offensive and defensive weaponry.  Another surprise.  Really, I didn't know that.  No, really, why do you think I'm being sarcastic?  Oh, right, because I am.

A large Roman catapault... blah blah blah.  These arn't catapaults, they are trebuchets, and the design used in this movie wouldn't have been invented for a hell of a long time after this movie is set!

Re-enactors are called experimental archeologists?  I know a few re-enactors and I've never heard a single one refer to him/herself in that way.

Tristan is the sexiest man in Denmark is he?  Well, good for him.

A retired Nay Seal trained all the extras to fight as if they were 5th century warriars?  Um, does anyone see what connection a modern day SEAL has with a Saxon warriar?  Anybody?

HAHAHAHA, this entire film is based upon an essay some college student forgot at the school library and Franzini found.  Explains so much....

This final battle took 5 weeks to shoot?  Sure doesn't look it.

Some Roman forts had hospitals?  Jeez, and here I thought they jsut tossed the wounded outside to die.

Lancelot and Guinevere have an affair in some Arthurian Legends?  That's crazy talk.

Arthur is supposed to be buried in Glastonbury abbey.  Supposed is such a strong, inapropriate word.....

King Arthur reigned in Camelot, according to legend?  Now these guys are just getting lazy.

Wow, another pop-up that contradicts the movie, saying that modern attempts at placing Camelot place it at South Cadbury. Two in the entire movie.  These guys have some balls

Arthur is called the once and future king becuase legend has it he will rule again?  No one could figure that out on there own from the line "The Once and Future King"?

And that appears to be it.  Thank god.  I'm almost out of booze.

[Tako]

250 years of peace in the last 3500?  What BS is this?  Where the hell could you get the information for this grand statement?  Did the production crew for this film have some sort of objective, all knowing manuscript which details every war in every continent for the past 3500 years?  Would have been smarter for them to say that there was only 1 day in all of the twentieth century during which no declared war was taking place.  That, at elast, can be verified.

during the reagn of Numa Pompulius there was no war, in those times the doors of the temple of Janus would be closed( or open? have to books and they both say a different thing) but that does not account for 350 years. It is also said ( have not verified it jet) that in 7 centuries the doors of the temple of Janus would have been closed(or opend)  only 3 times and tne for a very short time ( no 350 years here also)

[Anathema]

Why did you buy the directors cut?

[Mahdi]

I didn't.

[alchemi2]

An American made movie that doesn't follow history or even most of the mythology!!! and your shocked and surprised. I'm more surprised that rome wasn't placed in some state and arthur wasn't some yank. ;)

[Anathema]

I didn't.

Don't play mind tricks on me, you!