The Dawn Of Conflict

[GhostHunter]

This is a short story I just wrote up. I was bored and I guessed I just dabbled down random stuff. Tell me what you think I guess...

 Despite the fact that the Thalaxian government was well organized and civilized there was always a faint trace of chaos before a military campaign. It was early in the morning and faint traces of tall skyscrapers were visible through a heavy blanket of misty fog. Commander Leto stood impatiently on the black, circular landing pad. Behind the man was the Castle that housed the loyal family to the Thalaxian Empire.

 The structure itself was quite impressive, it was a tall triangle shaped building with a fine coat of yellow and a slight dash of orange. Windows roamed up the exterior of the structure despite it having several hundred stories. The red landing lights flashed on and off notifying any ship of its location.

 Late once more Stonen. Suddenly a roar of engines destroyed the silence as a large black vehicle slowly descended onto the pad. House Guard quickly ran out onto it and began slowly waving the vehicle down. Landing gear slowly emerged from the bottom of the ship as it hit the platform with a THUD. There was a slight pause before a door opened and a ramp glided down onto the ground.

 After a few moments a figure emerged from the ship. His hair was a spiky black and his eyes glittered with eagerness. Slowly walking towards his superior the figure slowly bowed and came up with that devilish battle grin.

 

[Emperor Harkonnen]

good language ;) although I only skimmed through, I think that the story had too little action

[GhostHunter]

Yeah its a multi chapter type thing, big attack if I continue it...

[Davidu]

great. continue it... but take your time to make it really good

[Vanguard3000]

Good stuff. I look forward to seeing more.

[GhostHunter]

Wow thanks everyone for the encouragment! I'll start a new chapter soon, thanks again! :)

[Davidu]

I'll have to find some time to write the next chapter of my ... er... Fan-Fic. It's all I miss - time the final fontier.

[ordos45]

Nice, the dialogue and attention to detail is quite a good thing to be able to read.

[GhostHunter]

Beginning of Chapter Two, I typed this up fast at about 2 am so I'll add more later and edit it.

The downtown city of Ganthug shuck as explosions riddled the highest skyscrapers. Rubble flew down onto the unsuspecting civilians. Screams of panic echoed throughout the densely put together capitol city as sirens screamed throughout the night. Roars of engines were the only contestant to the sirens as rebel forces screeched down the streets in hover craft bearing heavy weaponry.

 Laser rounds streaked down the streets into structures only adding to the chaos. People tried to run but in a instant were cut down by uncontested firepower. Flickers lit up the night as rebel forces from every direction entered the city.

 Sonic blasts rippled the skies as rebel bombers flew over the city. Missals rained down upon the city lighting up the night. A voice boomed out throughout the streets.

 

[Davidu]

Cool, keep writing man. ;)

[cobrajc]

pretty good!