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FED2k Big Brother-Season One


DukeLeto
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(OOC: I am DukeLeto. I'm using this name for effect. This should be good for a few laughs. ;))

FED2k Big Brother-Season One

Greetings, I'm your host, lowlymarine. Galaxy was supposed to be your host, but we threw her in the house at the last minute, because theer were no women. As such we dragged a couple of other women in, too, giving us the largest Big Brother yet. So let's meet our houseguests, shall we?

Galaxy: Former host, put in because we needed some cute girls...err, I meant dignified women.

DukeLeto: My stupid brother. Most likely, he will say something stupid and get himself killed. He is a bona-fide idiot.

Navaros: No, wait, I take that back. THIS GUY will be the first to say something stupid and get himself killed.

Ordos45: Fanfiction moderator.

ExAtreides: The other fanfiction moderator.

Gobalopper: The giant purple yeti. You may now him as site Admin here.

Mahdi: Gob's right hand man.

Nema Fakei: Gob's other right-hand man.

Timenn: YET ANOTHER of Gob's right-hand men.

Edric O: He worked on Kwisatz Haderach with...

Jacob Douds: (see above) and...

Ghosty_Square: who started KH.

Frodo: He works on Corrino's Revenge mith my idiot brother.

Tlelaxu Fanatic: He does his own mod. He's in here because we at CBS like to pick on newbies.

Alia_of_the_Knife: Known for staying neutral, even in heated flame wars. She's also a cute girl....err, dignified woman.

ShyGirl44 (or something to that effect): Another cu...woman.

The Lady Jessica: Don't see much of her anymore, but I asume she's a, well, she.

OK. Do you like our house guests? No? Good, then let's get started...

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Welcome back to FED2k Big Brother! Let's see how it's going:

Day 4:

-In retaliation for Edric's death, Jacob and Ghosty_Square attack DukeLeto with crysknives while is fixing himself a peanut butter and jelly sandwich. The Atreides guards can't shoot for fear of hitting the Duke. Apparantly Galaxy eiher thinks she's a really good shot, or wouldn't mind hitting DukeLeto. *Blam* *Blam* Two expertly aimed shots erupt from the end of Galaxy's pistol. Ghosty_Square is hit glancingly in the shoulderblade and disappears. (Though later, some guy named Voltirus with the same IP addess kept begging us to let him in the house. ::)) Jacob Douds was hit in the shoulder, and lies there, writhing in pain.

-Gob, Timenn, Mahdi, and Nema agree to vote DukeLeto out if he gets nominated.

Day 5:

The head of household competition. How can I mutilate the houseguests? I know!

-"Today is the head of household competition. You will have to stuf the most live slugs up your nose to win. GO!"

***Five minutes later***

Ordos45: When are you going to give us the slugs?

Me: Catch your own d*mn slugs.

We here in the control room get to watch. Let's.

ExAtreides and The Lady Jessica are fighting over the smallest slug they can find. ExAtreides b*tch-slaps her. She slugs him, breaking his nose. "Great. Just great," she says. "Now you've drowned the slug in blood." They go their seperate ways.

At the end of the competition, Navoros has managed to stuff, like, 70 slugs up his nose. He is disqualified on the grounds that he can't use his scull, no matter how empty it is. DukeLeto, with 4 slugs, is the winner.

"Sh*t," says Gob.

Tune in tomorrow for more exciting (And nauseating) FED2k Big Brother!

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  • 3 weeks later...

(OCC: I'd forgotten about this...lol.

Hey, wait a second...BRING THEM BACK!!! Those posts had the nomination, and the veto, and the eviction, and...Couldn't you have just "modified"? Grr...Now I have to re-write half of the show...oh well, such is my life.)

Day 6 (again):

Nominations, everyone!!!

Me: Today is the Nomination Ceremony!!!

Houseguests: Huh?!

Me: Um, well, due to CBS's overreactive censorship, we have to repeat the last few days. So, lets get to it! Today's veto competition is...wait, I've got more film missing here...we have to start over from the beginning.

Houseguests: ARRGH!!

Me: Sorry, man.

DukeLeto: I nominate, um, Navaros and, um, Isn't Jacob already gone?

Me: Shut up, our savior is coming: look!

Just then, we saw the announcement that ABC had bought the show. We would be recieving two new houseguests!

Excitement and tension here!

Mickey and Goofy!

Waaaait a second...

Me: Okay, everyone, um...Back to normal!

DukeLeto: I nominate the new guys.

Me: OK, people? Today was a big day! Go to sleep. NOW!

Okay, um:

Day 7 (again):

The Veto competition!

Me: Welcome to the Veto competition!

Houseguests: ARRGH!

Me: Today you must dance the flamenco while eating a squash! First to finish their squash wins!

Houseguests: Well, that's stupid.

Me: Have fun! Begin!

***Five minutes later***

Ordos45: I hate to ask this, but...

Me: Catch your own durn squash!

***Ten minutes later***

Ordos45: There's no squash here!

Me: Well, in case of a tie, it's the best flamenco dancer.

"This should be fun to watch. Let's."

Me, drawing a name out of a hat: The best dancer is: Timenn!

Houseguests: groan

Timenn: ROAR!

Me: OK, Timenn, who do you want to veto?

Timenn: No one.

Me: OK. This has been another long day. Go wash up.

Day 8 (yet again):

Today we vote someone out!

Me: Go vote, you morons!

Everyone scuttles toward the diary room.

First in is ExAtreides:

"I love Disney characters and all, but i can't stand stupid ones. I vote to evict Goofy.

Next is Ordos45:

"I think we need no major distractions. A mouse the size of Manhatten is a distraction. I vote to evict Mickey."

Then Alia_of_the_Knife:

"I abstain from voting."

Me: That's a first.

Galaxy:

"I vote to kill...err, evict Mickey."

DukeLeto:

"I respect honor and integrity above all else. And that dumb mouse has neither. At least Goofy is funny. I vote to evict Mickey."

The Lady Jessica:

"I vote to evict that basatard ExAtreides!"

Me: Ma'am, he's not on the block.

"Why the hell not!"

Me: He wasn't nominated.

"Fine, have it your way! I vote to evict Mickey!"

Gob:

"I vote to evict Goofy. We need good minds here."

Mahdi:

"I vote to evict Goofy, because he is the closest in IQ points to DukeLeto."

Frodo:

"I vote to evict Mickey. He embodies Disney. I hate Disney."

ShyGirl44:

"I abstain"

Me: i guess it's not a first anymore, but it's still strange.

Navaros:

"I vote to evict Mickey, because people like him."

Tleilexu fanatic:

"I vote to evict Goofy, because he is a dolt."

Nema Fakei:

"I vote to evict Goofy, because Gob and Mahdi did."

Timenn:

"I vote to evict Goofy, because Nema, and Gob, and Mahdi all did."

Edric O:

"I vote to evict Mickey. He's so cute. I hate 'cute'."

Me: there appears to be a tie. In the case of a tie, as we all know, DukLeto, as Head of Household, normally gets to decide. But sinse we hate both of these loons equally, today, we just get rid of both of them. Galaxy if you would care to...

*BLAM! BLAM!*

Me:...err, lead them to the door.

Galaxy: OOPS!

"Well, join us next time on another exciting edition of: FED2k Big Brother!!!"

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  • 2 weeks later...

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