just for the fun of it.

[gryphon]

I tought you might enjoy some jokes here. Not ordinary, just funny I hope. :)

[gryphon]

(I didn't write this, but I wish I did. It's long, but take the time, it's worth it)

                           Chain Mail

                           Hello, my name is none of your business. I am suffering from seven rare and deadly diseases, poor scores on

                           final exams, fear of being mauled by squirrels, and guilt for not forwarding out 50 billion chain letters sent to

                           me by people who actually believe that if you send them on, that a poor 6 year old girl in Texas with a

                           potato growing out of her forehead will be able to raise enough money to have it removed before her parents

                           sell her off to the traveling freak show. Do you honestly believe that Bill Gates is going to give you and

                           everyone you send "his" email to $1000? How stupid are you? I guess stupid enough to believe that you will

                           receive a $2 billion shopping spree at Abercrombie & Fitch... Ooooh, looky here! If I scroll down this page and

                           make a wish, I'll meet the girl of my dreams tomorrow! What a bunch of junk. So basically, this message is

                           directed to all the people out there who have nothing better to do than to send me stupid chain mail

                           forwards. Maybe the evil letter leprechauns will come into my house and write "I'm a moron" on my forehead

                           in permanent marker in my sleep for not continuing the chain which was started by a knight of the round

                           table and was brought to this country by midget pilgrims on the Mayflower and if it makes it to the year

                           2000, it'll be in the Guinness Book of World Records for the longest continuous streak of blatant stupidity. If

                           you're going to forward something, at least send out something mildly amusing. I've seen all the "send this to

                           50 of your closest friends, and this poor, wretched excuse for a human being who will somehow receive a

                           nickel from my pet gecko" forwards about 90 times. It's getting old. Show a little intelligence and think about

                           what you're actually contributing to by sending out forwards. Chances are it's your own unpopularity.

                           THE FOUR BASIC TYPES OF CHAIN LETTERS:

[gryphon]

Chain Letter Type 1:

                           (Scroll down) Make a wish!!!

                           No, really, go on and make one!!!

                           Oh please, they'll never go out with you!!! Wish something else!!!

                           No, I'm sorry, we're out of ponies at the time being!!

                           Have you forgotten why you're scrolling yet?

                           STOP!!!! Wasn't that fun?  Hope you made a great wish  Now, to make you feel guilty, here's what I'll

                           do. First of all, if you don't send this to 5,096 people in the next 5 seconds, you will be kidnapped by ninja

                           elves and thrown off a high building into a pile of manure. It's true! Because THIS letter isn't like all of those

                           fake ones... THIS one is TRUE!! Really!!! Here's how it goes:

                           *Send this to 1 person: One person will be annoyed with you for sending them a stupid chain letter.

                           *Send this to 2-5 people: 2-5 people will be annoyed with you for sending them a stupid chain letter.

                           *Send this to 5- 10 people: 5-10 people will be annoyed with you for sending them a stupid chain letter, and

                           may form a plot on your life.

                           *Send this to 10-20 people: 10-20 people will be annoyed with you for sending them a stupid chain letter

                           and will napalm your house.

                           Thanks!!!! Good Luck!!!

[gryphon]

Chain Letter Type 2:

                           Hello, and thank you for reading this letter. You see, there is a starving little boy in Baklaliviatatlaglooshen

                           who has no arms, no legs, no parents, and no goats. This little boy's life could be saved, because for every

                           time you pass this on, a dollar will be donated to the Little Starving Leg-less, Arm-less, Parent-less,

                           Goat-less Boy from the Baklaliviatatlaglooshen Fund. Oh, and remember, we have absolutely no way of

                           counting the e-mails sent and this is all a complete load of junk. So go on, reach out. Send this to 59 people

                           in the next 47 seconds. Oh, and a reminder - if you accidentally send this to 4 or 6 people, you will die

                           instantly. Thanks again!!

                           Chain Letter Type 3:

                           Hi there!! This chain letter has been in existence since 1897. This is absolutely incredible because there was

                           no e-mail then and probably not as many sad e-mail addicts with nothing better to do. So this is how it

                           works: Pass this on to 15,067 people in the next 7 seconds or something horrible will happen to you like:

                           *Bizarre Horror Story #1 Miranda Pinsley was walking home from school on Friday. She had recently received

                           this letter and ignored it. She then tripped in a crack in the sidewalk, fell into a sewer, was gushed down a

                           drainpipe in a flood of poop, and went flying out over a waterfall. Not only did she smell nasty, she died,

                           too.... This could happen to you!!!

                           *Bizarre Horror Story #2 Dexter Bip, a 13-year-old boy, got a chain letter in his e-mail and ignored it. Later

                           that day, he was crushed by an anvil that was dropped by a plane that just happened to be flying directly

                           above him. This could happen to you too!!!

                           Remember, you could end up just like Pinsley and Bip. Just send this letter to all of your loser friends, and

                           everything will be okay.

[gryphon]

Chain Letter Type 4:

                           As if you care, here is a poem that I wrote. Send it to every one of your friends.

                           "Friends"

                           A friend is someone who is always at your side... A friend is someone who likes you even though you stink

                           like dead fish, and your breath smells like you've been eating cat food. A friend is someone who likes you

                           even though you can't juggle. A friend is someone who thinks your pants look like they were made from

                           curtains. A friend is someone who stays with you all night while you cry about your sad, sad life... A friend is

                           someone who pretends they like you when they really think you should be ran over by a steamroller and then

                           thrown to vicious dogs... A friend is someone who scrubs your toilet, vacuums, and then gets the check and

                           leaves and doesn't speak much English... (No, sorry that's the cleaning lady...) A friend is not someone who

                           sends you chain letters because he wants his wish of being rich to come true.

                           Now pass this on! If you don't, no one will like you for as long as you live. I mean it, as long as you live. The

                           point being? If you get some chain letter that's threatening to leave you friendless or luckless for the rest of

                           your life, delete it. If it's funny, send it on. Don't annoy people by making them feel guilty about a leper in

                           Otswana with no teeth, who's been tied to a dead elephant for 27 years, whose only chance of living is the

                           5 cents per letter he'll receive if you forward this mail, otherwise you'll end up like Miranda. Right? Now

                           forward this to everyone you know...otherwise you'll find all your socks missing tomorrow morning.

[gryphon]

Ok the last one.

[ if you should think it's offending anyone just remove it right away. ]

How To Tell If You're a Canadian:

[nemafakei]

How To Tell If You're a Briton:

[Usul]

LOL ;D All true for me except the Queen Mother (I'm British).

[Mahdi]

Gryphin:  I'm offended!  It should say "couch" not "chesterfield", "couch"!

[gryphon]

Ok, sorry.

Changed it. :)