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Inoculator9

Memory of Empire

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Memory of Empire

Been writing this for a few days, first draft, want some feedback, hope you enjoy, etc ;)

Spires stretch to surmount the sun, walls rise to guard them, paths expand, rivers stretch, and no rain shall fall upon the rise of empire.

Turrets blot out the sun and pierce the sky, arms march toward conquest, roads roll towards the horizon, and no storm shall deter the majesty of empire.

The sun rises above the great domes, the streets crowd, the rivers clog, risen from majesty is doom, and nothing can avert the demise of empire.

The sun sets upon the abandoned homes of kings, streets are emptied, buildings demolished, and no one shall interfere in the fall of empire.

Darkness enfolds the shattered remains of palaces and royal keeps, the stone walls long since fallen, no great gardens left to grow, and nothing stirs in the ashes of empire.

***

I pulled myself up to the top of what remained of some long dead noble's apartment walls, and proceeded to survey the surrounding lands. Though the nobles that had dispersed themselves across the continent after the empire had crumbled didn't leave much, and this particular estate was not large, it looked relatively untouched save by time.

The best I could realistically hope for was a piece of the of the gaudy glass ornaments that had been the last imperial fad, but even these didn't fetch much price in the markets of the town that had grown outside the crumbling city walls.

I spotted nothing, so I brushed off my tunic, hefted the single bag that held my findings for the day, and searched for a place I could look over the entire estate. I found this in a relatively intact wall, noticeably naked in the estate's gardens without anything connected to it. I jumped up and pulled my head up and over the edge. From there the entire estate in that director was open to me, and I did spot a small trunk, apparently left during its former owner's speedy flight from his home. It was comfortably placed inside a large stone gazebo, in the far rear of the estate.

I tossed my pack down to what I assumed was a soft patch of grass, and quickly followed it to a similar spot. I navigated the fallen masonry that surrounded me upon landing, trying to keep the appropriate path to the trunk in mind. After only a few minutes searching I spotted it. As I began undoing the numerous seals on the trunk, I pictured several possible contents in rapid succession. Pessimism first: some useless bit of buffoonery that the rich had occupied themselves with, hopeful next: some of the luxurious clothing that was so popular among the scavenger aristocracy outside the ruined city, optimistic last: one of the amazing pieces of equipment that were rumored to still exist. It wasn't any of these things. What it was was impossibly more.

***

I ran my fingers across the smooth, seamless surface that filled the trunk, broken only by five old imperial numerals. F-A-U-S-T I spelled out in my head.

"Fay-ost

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I meant to comment on this a while ago, and could've sworn that I had... creepy. :P

Well, the story itself is not too original, but that's not a problem at all. Afterall, everything said has been said before, supposedly. The plot is simple, but it's direct and to the point and that simplicity is definitely a good thing. The language you lend to Faust is believable, which is something I rarely see in personal writing and its dialogue suits the thing perfectly. The language you use is kept relatively simple and it flows wonderfully. The introduction reads like poetry and creates vivid imagery in the mind. One thing: I don't think 'likeliest ' is a word :P. Great job! :)

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Likeliest? Bugger, where is it?

Glad you enjoyed it. My personal problem with it is, as you said, it's unoriginal... but that's because in the end it will serve as an intro for my novel, so... it's not meant to have tons of depth to it as an individual story. Still, glad you approve :)

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Dictionary.com seems to contain a lot of words that, according to the Oxford English Dictionary, really aren't words. Also, more importantly, it sounds and looks crap lol. :P

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