The Lucknow Project

[Mahdi]

Posting exceprts from The Lucknow Project here once in awhile.  For those of you who don't know who Paul Henderson is, google "72 summit series".    Here's two excerpts:

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Paul Henderson: "Lord, guide my hand and Excalibauer...."

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Myrddin: "Do you know how Bruce County got its name?"

Connor: "No."

Myrddin:  "Following a Scottish Defeat, Robert the Bruce-"

Connor:  "Wait, Robert the Bruce?!"

Myrddin:  "Yeah...."

Connor:  "The dude in Braveheart?  The one that's not Mel Gibson?"

Myrddin:  "Mel Gibson... so dreamy....  I mean, yeah, the guy who's King at the end."

Connor:  "Man, Braveheart ruled, with the AHHHH CHOP CHOP SLICE CUT DECAPITATE FREEEDDDDDOOOOOMMMMM!"

Myrddin:  "Back on topic...."

Connor:  "And the Princesses Handmaiden?  Damn, I sure would like to have her teach me what a tongue is for-"

Myrddin:  "Connor!"

Connor:  "Eh?  Oh, right, the Robert the Bruce thing."

Myrddin:  "Right.  As I was saying, Robert the Bruce had retreated to a run down hut following another Scottish defeat and he sat there wondering if it was worth it all, if he should give up the crown and his dream of freedom, or if he should continue on fighting.  And then he saw two spiders.  Just two normal, everyday little spiders spinning their webs.  Over and over again the webs were destroyed by the wind, but the spiders kept making them, they just wouldn't stop.  Robert sat there for hours on that cold dirt floor staring at these two tiny insignificant beings struggling against all odds to build themselves a home.  When it became to dark for him to see he lit a flame and just kept watching.  So entranced was he that he did not sleep, he did not eat, he did not drink, he did not move.  Had it not been for the subtle movement of his chest his followers would have thought he was dead.  What went through his head during those long hours we will never know, but what we do know is that the following dawn The Bruce stood up, shook off all the dirt from the previous evening, and walked his way  into history as the man who freed Scotland."

Pause.

Myrddin:  "Do you see what I'm saying here, Connor?"

Connor:  "I will bide my time.  I will learn what these new abilities are, how to control them, how to exploit them.  And then I will use them against those who thrust them upon me, and no matter how long it takes, no matter what the cost, I will keep trying."

Myrddin:  "Actually, I was hoping you had some spiders.  I haven't ate in weeks.  Mmmmm, spiders.  I love spiders, the way they seem to crawl all the way down.  *smacks lips* them's good eatin's.  Tarantulas, daddy long legs, brown recluse, jumping, red sea, Tobey Maguire, spider crab, spider mite, spider monkey, trap door spider they're all great!  SometImes, I pick there legs off and eat them one by one and then CRUNCH!  The rest of poor old spidey goes into my innards, yessiry I love spiders!  I ate them every meal for three weeks  (well, I had a pretzel once) and never got sick of them!  There was this one time I ate half of two different types and them glued the halves together and made one whole hybrid spider AND THEN ATE IT!  Glue adds an extra kick!  But spiders don't need an extra kick, noppers, yum yum yum!  Especially the eggs, oh yes, thousand of eggs in those little egg pouches, and all for me, all for me!  Like Caviar, but not gross, you can spread it on toast, and to get the very most, drink with the milk of goats!  I'd cross moats, climb boats, and fire posts just to get to the tasty, crunchy meat of an so delicious spider.  It's the secret to eternal youth!  You never feel old when you eat a spider, the way they tickle your tongue and bite your checks, oh god I can almost taste one now as it spins a web over the roof of my mouth!  It don't stick like peanut butter!  I just can't get enough of the little bugger, I'm going spider-nuts, I've got SPIDERMANIA!  It's Christmas everyday you find a web, they're full of treats that you munch into hairy goo!  And then swallow!  That's right, spiders!  I want them, and I want them now!  FOOD FOR MYRDDIN!. "

Pause.

Myrddin:  "But I suppose your idea could work too."

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[The_Sadukar]

LOL, that is a good one Mahdi